The walls fell, and the flames were burning in the sky, just like yesterday.

The ferocious Spider Queen, the devastating beam of darkness, everything melts into the twisted heat......

The scenery on both sides shuttled rapidly, Zhiling's sad eyes, King Zhuo Yi's bloodthirsty hatred, and the desperate faces of the soldiers, scene after scene, like a shadow of a flower.

In the end, everything disappeared, time reversed, everything recovered, and the smoke of war turned into a blue sea and blue sky again.

Feng Dushan's gaze regained focus. The subversion of memories and reality still made him unable to come back to his senses for a long time.

"Just now I have let you relive your life in the illusion world, can you think back, are the choices you made in it still the same as at the beginning?" Jiang Shen looked at him lightly, and his tone was calm, as if everything had been expected.

Oh, yes...... Feng Dushan stared at the ruins below, and in the moment of flicking his fingers, he had really spent more than twenty years. At every fork in the road that determines his fate, he really chooses the same path as his "previous life" again.

chose to rebel and usurp the throne, chose to use Zhiling, chose to make a deal with the Spider Queen, chose to imprison King Zhuo Yi, and chose to be negative and betrayal...... made wrong choices again and again, built the wrong channel, and finally sent him to the end of a catastrophe......

Now, he also believes, not to mention giving himself a chance, even if there are two more times, three times, even a hundred or thousand times, his choice will still not change. Because, this is his life, his destiny.

It is his character that determines the path he takes, and his path also determines his fate. It's a chain that can't be reversed.

"But I can raise the dead. When Feng Dushan was stunned, Jiang Shenkong spoke again, "Partial resurrection is not a difficult thing for me, of course, I can also send them into reincarnation peacefully, what do you think?"

Feng Dushan took a deep breath and put his undulating thoughts in order again. When he raised his eyes again, the light in his eyes had frozen into a pool of stagnant water.

"No need. Bringing them back to life is just a witness to my failure, and I don't need to. ”

Dwelling on the past should not be his style. Since the past cannot be changed, it is time to seize the opportunity in time. If you can follow the adults...... Don't worry about the day when you don't have a head!

……

After silently hanging in the air, the two went to a small restaurant in a neighboring country instead.

A few simple dishes, ordinary mahogany tables and chairs, and noisy voices coming and going, all of which Feng Dushan has not experienced for a long time.

Falling from the high position of the king of a country, and mixing with these commoners again, he couldn't tell what it was like in his heart. However, he also hadn't experienced it for a long time, he didn't need to test the poison with a silver needle before eating, and he didn't need to be wary of the assassins who suddenly appeared from nowhere, and he could simply eat a meal.

What Jiang Yekong prepared for him was a milder wine. Of course, Feng Dushan didn't dare to let the adults pour wine for himself, and he was humble, but he was secretly moved in his heart.

The long-term war caused him to suffer from serious stomach problems at an early age. Later, even if you were an emperor, many irritating dishes were still not touched.

His food needs to be specially handled by the imperial dining room, and there are dozens of regulations on which seasonings cannot be used and which ingredients cannot be selected. How to ensure the nutritional intake and make the dishes as repetitive as possible, and at the same time have to be careful not to violate taboos, for those chefs, it is often nerve-wracking.

For their hard work, Feng Dushan was friendly on the surface, but in his heart, he never really cared.

They are cautious, nothing more than to save their heads and jobs, in order not to anger the emperor who is high above, and they don't really care about themselves at all.

He has never experienced the warmth given by others, and he is also stingy with his dedication to others, and his heart is as cold as a piece of ice. So to anyone around him, he can throw it out and sacrifice without hesitation.

The world may beg itself or ask for itself, and everything about them has a purpose...... Even Zhiling, she loves herself and gives everything for herself, she also has a purpose. Her purpose is to hope that she will love her equally and make her queen...... These people, he is not uncommon.

However, adults are different...... With his ability, he didn't need anything in return from himself at all, but he still saved himself from the beginning, and took care of himself like a friend and a relative, regardless of his identity. Especially in the period when other countries are ruined and their mentality is most fragile...... Knowing that he shouldn't, he still subconsciously relied on the other party, and was warm for any little care he had......

"Is it because of a lack of security?" After three rounds of drinking, Jiang Yankong asked lightly.

Feng Dushan's eyes were shocked. He was still worried before, adults know everything, and naturally they will understand the darkness in their hearts. If he knew that he was a villain who was treacherous at any time and crossed the river and demolished the bridge, would he dislike himself?

In fact, all his viciousness and determination do stem from his "lack of security", in order not to be betrayed by others, so he betrayed others in advance. Even Zhiling never understood him, she would only hate his ruthlessness, but he was the first to see through it......

"Yes...... Because I grew up living in fear that I could lose my life at any time, I was always very scared. For the first time, Feng Dushan confessed to a person, "Every day when I open my eyes and can see the sun of a new day, I will feel that I have earned an extra day." ”

"I've never trusted anyone and I don't want to. Think about it, a companion you once cared about could suddenly die......"

In the years of fleeing, his heart was not as cold as it was in the future.

At that time, he was just an ordinary child. There will be fear of war, and there will be grief for bloodshed and casualties.

With the loss of his family and sister, he didn't even have time to cry bitterly, so he could only keep up with the fleeing team and continue on his way. Perhaps at that time, his first simple coat was peeled off and left forever beside those corpses.

During that time, he also had genuine trust in his companions.

In the team, he met a child about his age. He also lost his family in the war, but perhaps because he had more experiences, he was much more mature than himself.

When he cries and cries every day, he takes care of himself patiently. It was he who explained to himself how to observe the terrain, how to evade pursuit, how to distinguish the poison of wild vegetables, quickly find edible wild fruits, and so on. During that time, he taught himself a lot of experience in the wilderness.

Despite this, he didn't even have time to ask his name once. He only vaguely remembered that the child seemed to be called Ah Yuan.

He used to rely on him a lot, until one day, in order to protect himself, Ah Yuan was injured in the leg by the flowing spiritual light, and the wound quickly became inflamed and suppurated.

At that time, the level of medical care was extremely backward, and a minor illness could kill you. Ah Yuanqiang ran with the team for several days, and finally fell behind.

"Twilight, I can't run anymore, you can go first......"

"No, I will never leave you!" Feng Dushan was very resolute at that time.

He had lost his family and Zhiling, and he never wanted to lose any of his friends again.

Regardless of Ah Yuan's dissuasion, he insisted on staying. The two men broke away from the main army and hid in a cave nearby. While carefully dodging the enemy army, he quietly groped in the wilderness, using the knowledge he had taught himself to find usable herbs for him.

He has been taking care of Ah Yuan for many days, but the other party's injuries are still getting worse.

He couldn't do anything, he could only watch Ah Yuan's face turn pale day by day. At first, he could still joke with himself, but later, he didn't even have the strength to speak.

On the last day, Ah Yuan's lips were already chapped like paper, and the lips were a dead gray, withered and vicissitudes.

"It seems that I really can't do it......"

"Today, it's time to say goodbye......"

Lying on the cold rock, he forced out a smile, but his eyes were infinitely desolate.

"I don't allow you to say that! you must hold on!" Feng Dushan shouted weakly, tears rolling down in large pieces.

Ah Yuan smiled bitterly: "Originally, I still thought that when I grew up, I would become a general and serve the country...... But now, it seems, there is no chance......"

"What's the use of being a general? Isn't it to die for the faint king?" Feng Dushan blurted out in extreme anger.

"If you want to be the king, you will be the king! The fate of this country is in our own hands!"

Ah Yuan looked at him in a daze. Perhaps at that moment, he saw a special momentum in himself.

"You...... Ambitious......" He laughed, encouraging and warm.

"I hope that when I re-enter reincarnation and reopen my eyes, what I see will be a peaceful and prosperous world......"

Then his hand slipped down.

The half-closed eyes always have a gap, as if waiting for the outside sun to shine in.

Waiting for the morning sun of peace to shine in.

Kneeling in front of Ah Yuan's corpse, Feng Dushan cried heartbreakingly.

The heart felt like it was about to crack, just like when the family and Zhiling left. He didn't want to feel the pain anymore......

After burying Ah Yuan, the escape continued.

He met many people again, met new companions, and he tried to cherish them and protect them.

Eventually, however, some of these companions died, some abandoned him, or even betrayed him.

The pain of loss, the pain of betrayal, these pains could not be discharged, and they precipitated in his heart little by little.

The accumulated pain caused him to nearly die several times.

It would be nice if it could stop hurting......

If only the people who would hurt him had never been there......

Sometimes, he thinks so desperately.

……

Finally, he understood.

He can't do anything at all, and he can't protect anyone.

It's like a yellowed piece of paper. He fled with many people, and the people around him disappeared one by one, leaving him alone and still running hard.

From beginning to end, he was the only one.

Since companions are to be lost after all......

Well, don't have a companion.

Without companions, there is no one who will hurt me anymore.

"I have abandoned many of my companions on the run, because if I don't abandon them, they will abandon me at any time. ”

"In a precarious life, everyone only thinks about their own survival, and feelings have long been nothing. ”

His heart grew colder and more numb, and he no longer mourned the dead. But only that fear, deep in the bone marrow, always haunted him.

He was always afraid, afraid that he would be killed by a light bomb that came from nowhere, that he was afraid that his plot would be exposed and that he would be sent to the gallows, even if he became king, he was still very afraid. He is afraid that the countries that have invaded him will retaliate, and he is also afraid that the people around him will come to kill him......

He was afraid, he was in fear all the time, but he couldn't show it to anyone.

If you let others know your vulnerability, it will be your own death.

Because he betrayed too many others, he was always worried about being betrayed. On the surface, he smiled back at everyone. But in his heart, he never trusted anyone.

"I once had a younger sister who was also separated in the war, and I missed her for a long time, only to realize later that it is very dangerous to put your feelings on others, and their birth, old age, sickness and death will affect your emotions and become your weakness. If you want to achieve great things, you can only be ruthless and heartless. ”

Therefore, he stipulated to himself that in his own world, there can be nothing more important than the country.

is as strong as King Zhuoyi, it is precisely because he fell in love with Zhiling that he had weaknesses, and finally buried his thousands of miles.

Although this weakness was concocted for him by himself, in the dungeon, when he saw the fate of King Zhuo Yi, he secretly made up his mind and took it as a warning.

Therefore, even if he has a special affection for Zhiling, he never dares to indulge himself and love to the fullest.

He was very successful in his self-restraint, he treated everyone cold-blooded and ruthless, and this also led to the fact that, looking back, there was not even a person around him who could be cherished.

"Ruthless and heartless...... Jiang Ember seemed to feel it, "There was once a person who was very important to me who also said this. ”

It was the first time he had seen this kind of sorrow in the eyes of an adult.

and when I was young, I had the same sadness in my eyes.

For no reason, he wanted to know who that person was and why he was so valued by adults.

But at the same time, due to an inexplicable resistance, he didn't seem to want to know.

If adults care most about other people, then they are still alone...... He would rather not know.

"But, won't it be lonely?" Jiang Shenkong sighed again. At the same time, he turned his head.

"You can treat me as a friend, I won't die suddenly, and I won't abandon you. Then, try to believe that there is still warmth in this world, okay?"

(End of chapter)