Hard work is peace of mind.

This thought was so ingrained in my mind that I couldn't rest for a moment. Even if you get a moment of peace, you will respond to this thought, and you will feel panic and fear because you are not trying hard.

Oh, my God!

Is my brain really my brain? What the hell is in that little head? Is it me using my brain, or is it my brain using me? Why can't I turn off my brain? Why can't I stop for a moment?

Even if you see the distortion in your head, you are still manipulated by it. What is this? If I have free will, why are these still here? If I really have sanity, why haven't I discarded this garbage?

It's as if the future is uncontrollable, so I won't regret working hard now. You see, I'm working hard now, so I'm at ease, I'm no longer hesitant or afraid, and the outcome of the future is not something we can control.

How well to put it...... Bah!

This kind of effort is completely a cross-dressing show of fear, and it is simply an effort for peace of mind. "Know that you are afraid, know your anxious future, then work hard so that you can have peace of mind", shit!

What's the difference between this and satisfying a drug addiction?

What is there to praise for an act that is completely based on fear? I really don't understand, why can't I see it before, why is it that I see it now, but I am still affected?

It's not at all a discussion that you should or shouldn't work on, but why you are so enslaved by fear. That's the crux of the matter, the character's actions don't matter at all, so why should fear play with me like that? And I have to put all sorts of masks on fear to hide the nature of its fear?

False is false, what qualifications do you have to take it as true and then be arrogant there?

This is also the case with my slash, as if I would have been terrified of the future without slashing, as if the character had failed. Because if you don't kill it, it's like not completing your homework, and when you think about it in the future, you won't have a job or even won't be able to graduate at all, and fear will come as scheduled.

Take the slash as a homework, the slash as a character attribute, and the slash as some kind of entrepreneurship of your own, shit!

I'm still looking forward to it, the character can become different after the killing, and I'm still looking forward to it, and I can show off after the killing is completed. As soon as I thought that I might never succeed in killing, I was afraid that the bewitching woman would smile uncontrollably in front of me.

Oh no, laugh.

And if you work hard to kill, it seems that you can feel at ease, so at this time, you can declare that I have worked hard, even if I can't kill the end, it doesn't matter.

Damn it!

I didn't really think it would be a success, I don't know. But at this moment, it was clear that I felt fear, that I felt as if I had been enslaved by the slaughter. The character secretly changed the concept, made me shift my goal, and turned the so-called suicide mission into an outward pursuit.

It's safe because it doesn't hurt the character in the slightest. Elaborating on the comprehension of his previous killing, and constantly repeating the circle, this is me, wouldn't it be sad?

It's a good feeling of ease, and I don't have to deny it. Right now, I'm still scared, and I agree there's no need to deny it.

I don't know why this is happening, but I'm in a relaxed state of "I don't know".

Suddenly thinking that I didn't try to kill, suddenly feeling that I was immersed in a relaxed state of "I don't know", and then thinking about the future maybe because I was immersed in the relaxed state of "I don't know", which would lead to the failure of the killing, leading to the failure of life, that kind of fear surrounds me.

Shit!

How else do you explain it to make yourself understand that the distortion in the brain is a piece of shit, and I believe that the distortion in the brain can only face death. The ship of life had crashed into the dock before it had even set sail. Believing in the distortion of the mind, the result is that you can only see the walls of thought.

Other than that, nothing is visible at all.

I don't know what the future holds, but I do know that any action based on fear comes from a distortion in the mind. It's not worth believing, and it's impossible to believe. In fact, fear is like a dark fog that no one knows what's there.

It's just that every time I see that ghost fog, I will subconsciously run. Who's going to think about fear, who wants to get into fear and see what the hell it is? Just like in "Gollum is coming," "everybody's like this" is a god-like law.

I'm afraid that if I don't have money, I'll go to earn money, and if I get addicted to drugs, I'll take drugs. What exactly is the difference between these two sentences, and why is the latter considered an idiot and the former taken for granted?

Nothing matters, these words are not meant to convince others at all, but to make yourself see clearly how the distortions in your mind are controlling you. And he is still enslaved by fear.

When has slashing become a job-like thing? Isn't it that I'm going to have to kill non-stop all my life? Because slashing has become my own character attribute, I feel fear if I don't kill?

It's like chanting sutras and meditating, as if if you don't complete your tasks every day, your practice will come to a standstill. This kind of thinking seems normal, "You have to work hard to improve your practice," just like you have to study hard to improve your grades.

If you go along with it, you will become an adult, and if you go against it, you will become an immortal. This "reverse" refers to this thing! How many times do you have to say it, are you mentally retarded? I still can't understand it?

Slashing is not a job, nor is it some attribute of a plump character, but to slash falsehood. So, is it a falsehood that "hard work is the only way to attain spiritual advancement"? How do I know that the result of hard work is spiritual progress?

And the cultivation of the character, who is improving? The character of Yuan Changwen is improving, tell me, this is not what the character attribute is? Isn't this to enrich the character?

"I am a person who kills falsehoods", it is this self-definition that makes me afraid. It's like, if I don't kill, I will make the character unable to succeed, I will not be able to touch the truth, and I will let the kill fail.

Bullshit!

I'm not here for any knowledge, or to make the character look a certain way, but to discard the character. I know there are contradictions, but the world is not real, so what is there to argue about?

The character of Yuan Changwen is unreal, everything he has, his thinking body, what he sees and thinks, is all unreal.

Fear is still raging, and it's not over yet!

The future self will achieve nothing? The future self will be on the streets?

Why should I care about my future self? Why should I let the character of Yuan Changwen live a better life? Why should I gain some kind of status in this false world?

The lake was no longer gentle, pulling Yuan Changwen like a water monster, and a kind of disillusionment slowly permeated his body.

I want to die.