Since I was a child, my uncle and aunt have given me a direction - to go to university. Pen & Fun & Pavilion www.biquge.info

In order to go to university in the future, I have to save money hopefully, I have to study hard and not repeat grades, and I can't fall in love before I get into college...... I...... I...... To get into college!

Even if I like a girl so much, I won't let her know that I like her. In addition to the reason why I can't fall in love before I get into college, there is another reason that my introverted personality restricts me.

The girls I like almost don't know what I like, so that's just my own liking. Wishful thinking, self-inflicted affection.

After Gan learned about Di's status in my heart, he expressed his envy for her and hoped to be friends with me. At the time, I was a little hesitant, but I was happy to be friends with her.

I hesitate because I don't know how to be someone's friend.

After being confirmed in elementary school and junior high school, I realized that I was so selfish and passive. I always think about my own feelings, and I don't know how to understand the feelings of my friends. I don't take the initiative to contact my friends, they all contact me. That's why I like to be cranky and withdrawn in my freshman year, and I can't accept myself like that. But that's what I am.

Maybe I was pampered too much when I was a child, so I only knew what it felt like to be loved, but I didn't know how to love others. I don't know how to love my relatives and friends, but I only know how to love myself. So, I'm happy, very happy. However, these joys and happiness are given by others, not by me. Guilt is born from this.

Looking at Ganna's heart that wanted to be friends with me, I couldn't resist, okay, then be friends.

Later, it was replaced, and my table mate was replaced by Song, a boy who didn't like to study very much. And Gan is still sitting next to me, and there are still two people between me and her, my table mate and hers.

Phew, almost all of us at the same table will do such a no-obligation thing, still pass the note for me and Gan, and take the trouble to pass it. Hey, come to think of it, it's so hard for me and Gan to be at the same table for a year.

Since Song didn't like to study, I would be forced by him to be a listener to his whispers in class. With my weak personality at the time, I didn't know how to refuse. Alas, well, listen...... But listen, I even whispered like a demon. Whew, it can really be described as "the one who is close to Zhu is red, and the one who is close to ink is black"!

Once, during a recess, when Gan finished reading my weekly diary of a certain week and threw it to me, maybe it was the wind at the time, or maybe her skills were really bad, and Zhou Ji was thrown to Jie in front of my seat.

Jie, a face and body slightly chubby, quiet and few words, but I like girls with unique language and words. She picked up my weekly diary and looked at it in amazement, but Gan seemed to be too shy to cover her face with her hands.

I immediately asked Jie to give it back to me, but she continued to browse as if I didn't exist. He even turned his head to me and said, "If you shout again, I'll tear it up!" I was stunned and looked at Gan again helplessly.

Gan was already so shy that he was lying on the table......

I...... Forehead...... How do you feel like my weekly diary is hiding some ulterior secret?

A few minutes later, Jie returned the weekly diary to me and said, "You wrote well." Then he turned his head away......

I'm a little stunned, but I'm happy. Because, it was liked! Narcissism reacted again......

Speaking of clean, I think of my cousin again. Originally, if my cousin Jie was still in high school, she would be in the same class as me. However, she stopped studying. So, my experience is destined to be a little different. It's hard to imagine if my cousin Jie was still studying at the time, was in the same class as me, and was known by my classmates as my cousin, what would my experience be like in the ninth class of the first year of high school?

He Gan began to get acquainted with each other, often saying some jokes that were not there, for example, she would say, "If you have the ability, come here, I will throw you downstairs!"

I would still reply to her with a stinky fart: "Hmph, can you afford to hug me? I can't even hold it, see how you throw it!"

Then she was speechless with a very rich expression......

Sometimes when I run in physical education class, she and I chase after each other, as if two children are fighting. That feeling is so comfortable, so natural, it doesn't need to be deliberate, it comes from the heart. What I like the most is the feeling of freedom that is truly uninhibited.

Sometimes looking at her back, I wonder, do I like her a little bit?

Whew, probably not, I like Di. Gan and I are just friends, well, just friends.

I always think so......

Sometimes, when I am tired of my real life, I will think of imitating a character in my virtual life to change my mood. Without him, he just wants to escape from reality and mediate his emotions.

High school life has at least one big vacation every month, which allows students whose homes are far away to go home and have a look.

When you get home, you see a slightly different environment. I feel like I've been out for a long time, and it's rare to come back. Of course, I also feel a little proud because I'm a high school student!

Go home and chat with Ah Po, and then continue to watch the show. Usually, in order to regain my childhood memories, I buy some TV series that I liked to watch when I was a child. For example, "Detective Fang". I like Fang Tianmu's white and black appearance and personality. Two different personalities can talk and can behave differently. I like it! because I'm always talking to myself......

Because I like it, I imitate it. I divide my contradictory voices into one white and one black, and I myself belong to the middle one, balancing the two positive and negative voices.

There are many things that can reflect my contradictions, and the more obvious one is the activity of planting trees and grass to green the campus in the first year of high school.

Well, the trees planted by our class back then should have grown taller. And I, on the day I planted the tree, was evilly contradictory. Uh-huh, evil ......

Because to plant trees, of course, you have to dig pits. To dig a pit, of course, you have to bend over.

The situation was as follows: because each class had to plant several trees, they worked in groups. My group got it done, and I looked back to see how the next group was doing. Just as I turned around, the aforementioned Fang was looking straight in front of me, bending over to hoe. It wasn't a big deal, but it was hot! So what about her unbuttoned neckline, and with her nearly ninety-degree bend, her clothes no longer fit snugly, so that my eyes could see spring in the summer!

Fang's posture at that time can be said to be close to a woman's posture. I was stunned for a moment, a little shocked, the spring is so good! Soon, the righteous voice in my heart jumped out: "The sea of bitterness is boundless, and turning back is the shore!"

I immediately sobered up, turned around in a hurry, and whew, I can't look!

But don't forget, there's an evil voice. The evil voice said more beautifully: "Don't look back, hope is in front of you!"

I thought, oh yes! Turn around again, it's still a moving spring!

The voice of justice does not give up: "The sea of bitterness is boundless!"

The evil voice retorted: "If the sea of bitterness is really boundless, why do I need to look so hard!"

The two voices kept arguing, and I turned around and turned again.

Turning around, huh, what about spring? I'm sorry, it's sunset, and I can't tell it......

The two voices were finally quiet.

Contradiction is also a kind of pain!

Actually, I'm still me, just escaping from me who I don't want to believe in reality......

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