I took a quiet puff of my cigarette in the hallway, then walked out and pulled out the key to open the door.

The old mother said angrily: "I'm back so soon, didn't I go on a date with Tang Youyan? didn't he invite you to watch a movie or something?"

I know that my mother pins her trust on me every time I go on a date, and I can't avoid her chatter when I come back so early.

"He has something to do temporarily, and so do I. "I coped against my will.

"My daughter is so good, how can Tang Youyan not look down on it? I don't care, you don't want to bring a boyfriend back, I.... I don't cook anymore!"

I didn't have a problem: "I can't conjure up a boyfriend, I can't go to the street and catch someone back." ”

"The person who introduced you to the blind date doesn't work hard, and when it comes to the end, who is to blame?

I couldn't cry or laugh: "You have to have a process of understanding each other when you fall in love and get married, right?"

"It doesn't matter, just take one back, it's just a man, it's live. ”

I completely felt defeated by her: "Okay, I'll try." ”

I was helpless, because judging from the timing of returning home, I obviously did not satisfy my mother. She was making supper in the kitchen, and she was extremely dissatisfied with my cold attitude, she was angry like a ** bag eager to explode, and she slashed a few potatoes in the kitchen like a ruthless one, and she cut the potatoes into a messy short frustration, and those messy potatoes confessed how angry she was when she went under the knife.

When my mother saw me enter the door, she flashed into the room and turned on the TV, at this time she was holding her waist, and her pretended calmness could not keep up with the escalating anger in her tone, and she was determined to publicize her anger: "Today, Aunt Zhang, the neighbor, actually praised her daughter and son-in-law in front of me for being filial and capable to her parents, but she actually said that you have a strange personality and temper, and you are almost 30 years old and have not yet married. My daughter is many times better than her daughter, why does she speak to me in such a stirring tone, and why did she pay back my subordinates before, why?"

I knew that before my mother transferred her anger to me, there would always be a scolding of Huai, and I could only shrug my shoulders and say that it didn't matter, but my mother's death hole was greatly rubbed, and my failure made her blush.

"You person, I really don't want to care about you anymore. No matter how you toss, I won't care if you live or die in the future, I'll just mess around like this for the rest of my life, and I will never interfere in the future. I also figured it out, it's not a big deal, it's a big deal to live alone in a nursing home when I'm old, I don't have any hope, I didn't count on you. I'm sorry for the relocation of this old house, and you're left to fend for yourself. ”

I sat on the couch watching TV, and now I couldn't focus on a single shot, because I had to use my brain to understand my mother's almost cursed scolding: "...... You also said that I, today's Tang Youyan is not from the same class as us, he was enlightened by the Buddha, has an open life, and wants me to deliver it to the door. He's so good, can the miner be a good friend with the grocery buyer? When he is sold by you, and you still count the money with a smile, what is the situation, are you sure you can't figure it out?"

"I don't know what, do you know how difficult it is to date the other party, it is said that Tang Youyan has been single since the divorce, if you can climb this family business, you will not have to worry about eating and drinking for the rest of your life. The family wants money everywhere, and you're going to be angry with me, aren't you?"

"Have you thought about it? Is it you or me? Why should I put all your thoughts in front of you? Are you selfish or not? What is the difference between you and buying a daughter? At his age, I don't know if I will become a widow too soon?"

"Phew, you're just messing around, he's only thirty-eight, only ten years older than you, and a mature man will hurt people. ”

My blood pressure skyrocketed, I could have lived the life of an "urban woman" to the fullest, I ate coffee restaurants and Starbucks, I talked to my friends about the latest Hollywood star additions, and now I had to live a traditional and mundane life. The sharp thought made me mean: "I, Zhou Zhimei, will never marry a second-married man, I was only born when he graduated from elementary school! What are you and me? Even if he has Botian wealth, according to the law, it is considered premarital property." ”

"I'm treating you as an old girl who is almost thirty years old and hasn't married yet!" Mom finally got out of control, her mouth, people can scare you to the eighteenth layer of hell, and people can blow you to the galaxy, "You will leave me tomorrow and rent a house by yourself!"

“...... What are you talking about!" I shuddered.

"You will leave me tomorrow, you will leave tomorrow, when you bring your boyfriend home, you will enter this house one step further, in short, I have to leave before I get up tomorrow. My mother was so angry that her face turned blue, and although the sentences were fast, I could hear them clearly, "Don't rely on me, the girl will not stay." ”

I lifted my legs and stomped heavily on the ground, starting with such a forceful start that I couldn't afford to lag behind. I walked to the front of the room:

"I'm not sorry for you, you've tossed me enough, what's wrong with being a mother, what's wrong with me not getting married, are you happy when I'm married? Are there any other parents like you?

After that, I went back to the room at the speed of light, put some of the commonly used clothes into the box in a mess, and left without waiting for tomorrow to pick up the luggage, my mother wanted to intercept me, she shouted quieter than just now, she should die is full of anger but in the end I still have to worry about not disturbing the etiquette of the neighbors.

But I still got out of the door.

Of course, this is the eighth time I've fought with my mother, and this is the ninth time I've run away from home because of marriage issues.

I dragged my suitcase and walked down the street a little confused, and I was already sitting in the park when the street was already lit up.

At this time, the surrounding is quiet, the moonlight is everywhere, shining on the shadows of the trees like residual snow, sparsely leaking down, the street lamp at the eaves emits a faint orange light, there is a faint sound of blowing music, listen carefully to know that no one uses the saxophone to complain.

Across the water, a low rhythm flowed through my thoughts like a tidal wave.

When I was a teenager, I liked to read Jin Yong's novels, and Ren Yingying, the demon goddess of "Smiling Proud Jianghu", had a sentence that I remembered deeply: "Those are excellent, excellent, but I don't like them." ”

At that time, I didn't understand, I felt that the scenery of the south of the Yangtze River was already loved, and there was a person in the desert who didn't love himself, what was the pity? There are so many people and many things in this world, if I don't love you, just change the object and love again.

It turns out that love is never allowed to do what you want, loving someone is loving someone, there is no way to choose when to start and when to end, and there is no way to deceive yourself.

Would you be happy if you lied to yourself?

Maybe ten minutes, maybe half an hour, I knew that I was already motionless staring at the colorful scene in the darkness, because the moment I tried to stand up, the blood flowed back to my feet, like a spicy hot pot, and after the strong sourness, it was so spicy that the soul came out of the shell. However, I didn't feel uncomfortable, and I just wanted to be greedy for the thrill of resuscitating my nerves.

It doesn't matter if I'm dumb, sad or angry, or wronged, I'm just myself, a woman who doesn't want to settle.