I asked softly, "Are you sure then?"

He said categorically: "Yes! ”

We hung up the phone, and I was still panicked, the feeling of being able to peek at the whole situation from a corner is too unbearable, you are forced to follow the process, you know so many secrets inadvertently, but you don't know how far the people are in it, what a big net it is, and who are in the net.

At that moment, I was at the bottom of the valley and wanted to climb to the top of the valley to see the whole picture and understand the branches and vines. In an instant, there was such an idea. I don't think I'll swim hard, even if something happens to Yanbin and Wang Ling one day, all I can do is cry powerlessly. I don't want to be vulnerable anymore, to be protected again, to be so cowardly and incompetent anymore. At that moment, the thoughts of the big woman began to sprout in the bottom of my heart, and a certain point in my heart seemed to wake up from my slumber.

When I went home in the evening, I rubbed shoulders with the old man in the wheelchair again, and I gently called: "Jinnian ......"

Immediately after, I heard the screeching brakes of the wheelchair, he stopped, I stopped, I turned around, he didn't turn around, he said softly, "You still recognize you......"

I walked up to him lightly, and he looked up at me. It is probably the terminal stage of cancer, the whole person is swallowed up by cancer cells and is emaciated, sitting in a wheelchair in an old state, how can there be a little bit of the past demeanor. The sharpness in the eyes before was replaced by a cloudiness, the skin on the face was wrinkled and crisscrossed, the green tendons on the hands were exposed, and he was probably unable to straighten his waist, so the whole person was rickety, if it weren't for the deep memory of that face in the past, and the thought of what Wang Bin said, how could I believe that the old man sitting in front of me at this moment is the man who was a man a few years ago and seemed to be a king in my eyes!

Surprised and somewhat regretful, I asked, "How did you end up like this...... What do you mean by that, have you seen me earlier?"

He nodded, looked at me and lowered his head, and said, "I saw you in the gazebo at noon that day." Afterward...... I also saw Yan Bin. ”

I was shocked, I didn't expect him to find out that I was here a long time ago. How long did he watch it? Isn't that what Yan Bin and I did in the pavilion that he saw......

I said, "What's wrong with you? I saw you all right before, how did you come here?"

He smiled reluctantly, and he said, "Yes, life is impermanent. I didn't expect that by the time I found out, it was already an advanced stage of cancer. ”

I pretended not to know and said, "Oh my God, cancer...... How come?"

He smiled, probably stricken by the disease, and didn't want to communicate with me more, so he just said, "Well, you take care of yourself, I'll go back to my room." ”

With that, he turned his wheelchair. I hurriedly said, "Where do you live, I'll send you back." ”

He sighed, and he said, "Okay. If you want, we can talk. I actually still have a lot to say to you. ”

I said "yes" softly, and in the face of such a dying old love, my heart was infinitely sad and full of compassion at the same time. He knew I was here, but he didn't look for me. I think that when he was nearing the end of his life, he may have had a lot of epiphany, or maybe he has no mask now, he is a poor man in front of me, alone here and facing death, he no longer has the courage to meet me.

I slowly pushed him forward, and he said softly, "I didn't expect you to be here, what are you doing here?"

I said, "I have a friend who is pregnant and has come here to recuperate, and I am here to accompany her." ”

He let out an "oh" and said, "Most of the people who come here are old people, you must have a special reason to come, right?"

Despite his illness, his head was exceptionally clear. I also did not deny it, and I said, "Well, there are some inconvenient reasons to say. ”

I continued to push him forward, and when I reached the end of the hallway, he said, "This is it." ”

With that, he took out the key, and I took it and opened the door. The layout of his room was the same as ours, and there was a pungent smell of Chinese medicine in it, and I pushed him in. After a while, a girl came in with a bowl of medicine, saw me here and asked me curiously, "Are you?"

He said slowly, "A friend of mine, you can put the medicine here, and I'll drink it later." ”

She gave me a suspicious look, and then said, "Okay, then you have to drink, or Madame will be worried." ”

He nodded, and the girl withdrew. I said, "Isn't it better for you to recuperate at home when you're sick?"

He shook his head helplessly, and said, "She thought I was too smelly, so she found me here and hired a girl to take care of me." We don't have any children, just two of us, and now we're both in wheelchairs. She doesn't want anything else, just want to be quiet. So, if you bring me here, it will affect her mood at home, and she won't be able to take care of me......"

"I don't have a child ......", a sentence that reminds me of the beginning. If it weren't for that accident, maybe there would be a child who would have been able to give him a thought. It's just that my sacrifice is great.

I sat down on the edge of the bed, picked up the potion, and said, "Drink it while it's hot, at least it will relieve the pain." ”

He nodded, and I picked up the spoon and fed him one bite at a time, and halfway through it he was a little nauseous and threw it all out.

After spitting up, I handed him a tissue to wipe his mouth, and he said, "I'm sorry, every time I drink medicine, I can't drink it...... Drink it and vomit. ”

I said, "It's okay. Drink as much as you want. How can you take Chinese medicine?"

He threw the tissue into the basket and said, "Chemotherapy has been done, but it doesn't work anymore." Now here is to drink some Chinese medicine, and eat a little if you can. My time is running out, and that's a month or two. She said she didn't want me to die at home, so she would be scared in the future, so she ......"

I was very helpless after listening to it, how many years of husband and wife love have become unfamiliar like this. I said, "I'll come to see you and chat with you when I'm free." ”

He looked at me in amazement and said, "Shu Hua, aren't you afraid? I'm going to leave this world soon." ”

I shook my head, and I said, "After all, I'm not afraid of acquaintances." You're alone here, so it's going to be painful, right?"

He nodded, and he said, "Well, I can't sleep all day, and when I feel uncomfortable, I want to just kill myself." However, the days are running out anyway, maybe it was God's punishment for me that made me know that I had done a lot wrong. ”

His appearance is very pitiful, once unbeatable, now alone, all his life has been used by others, calculated and finally abandoned, he has indeed gotten a lot, but how can he ever get it?

I said, "Don't think too much, everyone dies once, and we all have to face death." Be optimistic, and since you know it's inevitable, try to make yourself happy. ”

He smiled and said, "Shu Hua, I'm not reconciled." A piece of the country that I worked hard for is now taken away by her family. I regret that if I had kept that child, I wouldn't be like this now. Shu Hua, I'm sorry for you. ”

I said, "This is fate, sometimes it must be in life, and there is no time in life to force it." There's nothing to be sorry for, who would have thought that would happen, who would. ”

He nodded, and he said, "I used to live a beautiful life, and I was always complacent, thinking that I could call the wind and rain. Now that the illness is like a mountain, and I have fallen to this step of the field, it is only when those positions are given by others. I used to be grateful for everything she had given me and obey her and her family's power. Now I realize that I am just a watchdog for others, and I am worthless in the eyes of others. ”

He probably had too many grievances in his heart and had nowhere to complain, I listened quietly, without too much emotion and without much response, just simply echoed two sentences, and that's it.

He said, "Shu Hua, I didn't expect to meet you here." ”

He asked me again how I was doing, and I said, "Do you have any ideas now?"

I smiled and I said, "I actually understand why you chose that way, people who are at the bottom of the valley sometimes can't climb up without a ladder." For example, I have lived until now, but no matter how hard I try, I can only move forward one small step at a time. ”

He said softly, "Say, what do you think, maybe I can help you with something." ”

I shook my head, and I said, "It's better to be on your own." Besides, you can take good care of your body in this place where there is no dispute with the world now, and don't worry too much about it. ”

He shook his head, and he said, "My life is very short, and I haven't been in contact with many women, and you are the only woman who has ever been very close to me besides her, believe it or not." ”

I nodded, and I said, "I do." You have no reason to lie to me now. ”

He said, "Yes. The power of her family is too huge, I don't dare to find a long-term lover outside, and I used to be the most risky attempt with you. ”

I said, "How powerful is her family? ”

He smiled, and he said: "Her family belongs to a scholarly family, and all her relatives and friends are either in important positions, or entrepreneurs and businessmen, who are very well-connected but very low-key, and very united, and outsiders can't see how wide their branches are, only people within the family know about them." ”

I said, "How have you been all these years...... It's also depressing, isn't it?"

He smiled and said, "I...... All these years are just puppets. Otherwise, it wouldn't be so messy now. ”

I said, "Then you run such a big group, how can you serve the public if she doesn't give up power?"

He shook his head, and he said, "I'm just her agent, the group is transferred by her will, she can do whatever she wants, but she has been behind the scenes." ”

I was a little surprised, that woman must have been very strong, otherwise she wouldn't have been able to do this. I said, "Haven't you fought for anything for yourself all these years?"