Life always seems to be difficult to love.

Most of the time, all living beings in the world have to be manipulated by fate, being coerced, teased, and tossed back and forth involuntarily.

As an ordinary living form, under normal circumstances, all "man" can do is endure and wait.

It's been almost a year since he returned to the capital, and Chang Xianzhang's current situation is particularly uncomfortable.

What worries him is that not only does the political situation of his entire family not see any possibility of change. And he is also tormented by the pressure of survival and the confusion of emotions at the same time.

At the beginning, he returned to the capital because of the news that the "great man" was about to make a comeback. But although this incident has become a reality, its impact and effect are far from saving the Chang family from the quagmire as he expected.

His parents' affairs almost broke his leg, and he handed in a lot of materials for his parents to be rehabilitated and take off his hat. But whether it is the Organization Department of the Education Bureau, the Petition Office of Yongdingmen, or the Political Work Group of the High School Affiliated to the Normal University, he has stepped on the threshold, and there has been no progress.

The better reception staff could still say a few words of relief when they saw him, saying that there were more than 10 million people like his family in the country, and they could only try to do everything and wait patiently.

The bad ones threw out a sentence, "The problem of the 'old right' is different from that of the 'capitalist roaders', there is no possibility of wrong draws, don't come again", and it is directly a stick to death, and he will be given hard nails.

Of course, he didn't think of another way. Like his father's relatives, there were still some who were in office, and everything he could inquire about came to the door and pleaded.

It's a pity that his father is a nerd who only knows how to do learning, and when he was the deputy director, he was known for his rigid temperament and bookish temperament, and he was as light as water when he interacted with people. They do not please their superiors and subordinates, they have very few friends, and they offend far more people than those who are close to them.

Therefore, those who have few who may be able to help are not enthusiastic about the affairs of the Chang family. There are even some people who tear off the masks of old camouflage and ridicule the current desolation of the Chang family.

This allowed him to see the ugliest and most philistine side of human nature, and also fully understood what it means to be warm and cold and the world is cold.

In these days, the only thing that can make him feel warm and moved is the tenderness from Gu Lingye.

This girl who has been waiting for him for eight years like "Wang Baochuan" has never been separated from him since he returned to the capital.

No matter how her mother's family persuaded or scared, she just said, "I have been a member of the Chang family all my life, if I can't enter the door of the Chang family, I will never marry for the rest of my life." ”

This made her parents so angry that they should treat it as if they didn't give birth to this girl and want to dissociate themselves from her.

But she doesn't care at all. Every day, I only care about sewing and mending for him, washing and washing, asking for warmth, cleaning and cooking. Everything sent by the unit was sent to him, and whenever he was free, he would help him run around and inquire about news.

To put it bluntly, she is desperate, and she considers herself the daughter-in-law of the Chang family. If it weren't for the Gu family's close attention, the household registration book would have been stolen out by her and dragged him to register for marriage.

As far as he is concerned, his love for Gu Lingye is so desperate and extremely persistent, of course, it is inexplicably touching and cherished. But at the same time, I can't help but feel a great mental pressure and indescribable inferiority.

Because if we follow the ancient adage of our ancestors that "poor and lowly couples mourn everything", or the philosopher's theory that "the economic base determines the superstructure", their future is obviously not the slightest bright.

Don't forget, Wang Baochuan has been guarding the cold kiln for 18 years, and what he is waiting for is Xue Pinggui, who became the king of Xiliang after becoming famous. And he is an idler who has no hukou, no grain and oil relationship, no fixed occupation, and even it is difficult for him to support himself.

It's not as good as an ordinary farmer who has a solid foundation and is honest. What can he do to take care of this relationship, to fulfill the responsibility of a husband, and to bring happiness to the people he loves?

It's not that he doesn't work hard, but that he can't use his strength! It's not that he doesn't have knowledge, it's that knowledge is useless! It's not that he doesn't have the ability, but that's the reality.

In these years, even if a person has the talent of warp and weft, the world's martial arts, the wealth of five cars, and the ability to reach the sky, as long as the political problems are not solved, there is no place for him anywhere.

So all along, as he ran into a wall again and again, his psychology became weaker and weaker.

Especially at the end of the year, the money given to him by Hong Yanwu and Chen Liquan had basically run out, and he had to rely on Gu Lingye's savings and salary to live.

But what kind of feeling did he feel every time he took the money from Gu Lingye? It hurt like a pinprick in a needle.

This stimulus made him begin to clearly realize that reality had no space for him to move. Love, marriage, and a happy life are all luxuries for him. He can't afford it! Can he live like this for a while, maybe for the rest of his life?

He really didn't know when he would come out, and he even felt that his parents' problems might never be solved!

Therefore, although the two of them got along until night several times, Gu Lingye had the intention to "stay", but he always restrained himself rationally, and he didn't dare to cross the step of the thunder pool at all.

The more he loved, the more afraid he was, for fear that he would ruin Gu Lingye's life. There was even an impulse to break up with Gu Lingye again! persuade her to find another happiness that should have belonged to her a long time ago!

The most painful thing is that he can't say anything to anyone about this unbearable psychological burden, so he can only suffocate and suffer repeatedly in his heart.

He did not dare to write to his parents, for fear that they would blame themselves and be anxious. He didn't dare to tell his sister that she already had her own small family, and the things in daily life and work were enough for her to worry about, and it was useless to make her worry about herself.

Of course, he didn't dare to let Gu Lingye see a little bit of this kind of thought he had.

Not to mention that he really loves her to the extreme. Just after these eight years, she is already twenty-eight years old, and the best youth of her life has been spent waiting for herself.

And for this unimaginable persistence, for the nearly 100 unsent love letters in the study, how could he, how dare he, break the hope and dream of this infatuated girl?

That's just cruelty!

He was confused, he was stuck, he was panicked, he really felt a pain of being in a dilemma.

So in front of his eyes, although he watched Gu Lingye go around trying to find a way to make up for the New Year, he didn't have the heart to celebrate the New Year at all. In fact, he couldn't even feel at ease with every meal he ate, and he didn't even know if he was worthy of living.

And Hong Yanwu and Chen Liquan came to the door at this time.

It should be said that for Chang Xianzhang, who was in trouble, the visit of his two students on the last day of the year was simply too timely.

This is not only because they brought a rich New Year's gift and relieved his urgent need. also made him finally find the object who could tell his bitterness.

What was even more unexpected was that after he couldn't help but confide, Hong Yanwu actually gave a resolute and powerful refutation and reasoned analysis of all his concerns and confusions.

He never dreamed that one day, it would be his own students who taught him a crucial lesson.

"Oh, my teacher Chang, don't worry! Could it be that when the 'great man' comes back, there will be no opposition and no resistance? The country is in ruins, and it is difficult to return, and there must be a process to get better......

"Chang, I think you have to look at things this way, don't just guess and analyze the direction of the policy, but also consider it from the way you do things. For example, when the upper echelons have just started to release policies, I think it's a tentative process. It is necessary to test not only how much resistance there is, but also how much support there is. As soon as the "great man" came out, he quietly focused on science and technology education, and as a result, the college entrance examination was resumed at the end of the year. How clever this hand is, I have a clear understanding of the strength of public support. Then there is no need to hesitate and worry about the next step, and we can directly compete for public opinion and overturn the unjust, false and wrongly decided cases caused by the previous "campaigns". Of course, there must be a sequence in this process, and I know the son of the director, according to his information, at most this year, there must be a specific policy down. That's what it comes to life, there's no doubt about it......"

"However, there is a policy, and this is only the general trend at the strategic level. If we really want to get things done, we have to pay attention to tactics and methods. You see, at least one sentence is right. There are tens of millions of families across the country waiting for rehabilitation and taking off their hats. It's like queuing up to buy something, you can buy it without going through the back door, but you can wait until the end......

"Lao Chang, what I mean is that if we can drill the camp, we still have to drill the camp, and we can't be too high. Not to mention anything else, can Mr. Gu afford to wait? Your parents are still suffering and suffering, and it would be different if you solved it one day earlier. Of course, I know that you are not good at this, like when you first visited the door with your relatives, you came to the door with a little courtesy, pointing to people for pure friendship, that is definitely not good. We still have to find the right object, and we have to work hard. Don't worry, with me, I'll give you a good staff officer when I turn around......"

"By the way, since you are talking about Teacher Gu, then forgive me for being disrespectful, and I have to say a few words. Actually, in my opinion, you have to marry someone anyway. Yes, I understand, you think that men should be the protectors of women, and that your status quo is not qualified for marriage. But you are really wrong to think so, because your relationship has come to this point, and it is not something that the world can hinder at all. If you don't marry her, you're even more sorry for her......

"To put it mildly, what Mr. Gu has been waiting for you for eight years is not to show that you can get ahead, and that your father will be restored. That is, I want to live a down-to-earth life with you, and people have already prepared for the worst. But if you can't even do this marriage letter, then you're really sorry for others. Teacher, it may take more courage to receive love than to give it, but it is also a man's responsibility......"

"All in all, you really don't have to worry about the material. It's not to brag, in fact, for our brothers, the easiest thing now is money, and we will definitely never let you be poor again. You see, I have brought all the money, and you will spend the thousand first. We'll both give you a ...... of how much more you need later."

"Don't, don't let it, the master and apprentice are like father and son! Not to mention that we made you like this in the first place, even according to the old etiquette, we also have to give you a pension and send you to the end...... You, it's going to be boring to push it again, I'm going to turn my face, I think you didn't have a penny when the two of us read books in your make-up class, ate and drank for several years. This money is reasonable even if you are late for the tuition fee...... Where did you come from? Why are you like my eldest brother? Don't worry, we earned it with our hands in Bincheng! If you don't believe me, ask Quanzi......

"Chang, let's not be vain, I think your vision is a little too limited now, and your heart will be narrowed. Take 10,000 steps back, you can see that both of us re-education through labor can live a comfortable life on our own. Why do you feel that this world has no chance? It's too negative! Don't think about it anymore, no matter what, we can all have something to eat. As you used to say, bread will be there, milk will be there......"

Not to mention, Hong Yanwu touches the analogy, he interprets and predicts the policy trend from the perspective of utilitarian gains and losses, and analyzes the relationship between Chang Xianzhang and Gu Lingye from the perspective of human feelings, all of which have a different reason.

In addition, he used himself as an example to prove that there are still more choices in life, and as long as he works hard, there will be better results. So Chang Xianzhang was like seeing the sun through the clouds, not only did his heart open up, but the layers of fog in front of him were also broken one by one.

Indeed, under the influence of Hong Yanwu, he rekindled hope for life, and the self-confidence and optimism that he had long lost returned to him unconsciously......

When it was close to noon, Gu Lingye, who was wiping his tears, finally returned to the downstairs of Chang Xianzhang's house with two catties of pork, a can of tomato sauce, a catty of Fuqiang powder, a catty of cut cakes, a bottle of fruit wine and half a catty of fruit candy.

She went out of her home early this morning and went to the vegetable market. But it's already overcrowded, and everything she can afford has to be ticketed, and she can't afford anything that doesn't need a ticket. So with a lot of effort, she only managed to get a little cut cake and fruit candy.

In the end, she felt that tomorrow was Chinese New Year's Eve, and she had to make dumplings for Chang Xianzhang. I simply went home again. quarreled with his parents, until he cried like a peach, and finally got the favor of the old couple and took away some of the things prepared at home for the New Year.

However, when she went upstairs, she deliberately tidied up, wiped away her tears, and tried to make a smile as much as possible. Because she knew that Chang Xianzhang had been upset recently, she really didn't want him to see that she had been wronged.

But what happened next was really strange, as soon as she entered the corridor, she smelled the strong aroma of stewed meat, and waited for her to push open the door of Chang's house......

Drink! A sumptuous meal was already set on the dining table facing the living room. There are stall eggs, sweet and sour pork ribs, prawns and cabbage, and a bottle of osmanthus ......

Even the ground next to the wall is full of dazzling, with a lot of colorful high-end and in-demand New Year's goods......

And just as she was stunned, Chang Xianzhang, who was wearing an apron, also walked out of the kitchen with dishes and chopsticks. He also showed a smile that had been rare in recent days, and greeted him affectionately.

"Ling Ye, you're back, are you hungry, let's improve and improve today, let you taste my craftsmanship......"

Of course, Gu Lingye looked incredulous, and hurriedly asked.

"Xianzhang, this ...... What's going on?"

"Hi, Xiao Wu and Izumiko are here. They sent it. Just those two stinky boys, one bite at a time, they really treat me as a buddy, no big or small......"

"Huh, what about them?"

"I'm gone, I can't stay. I guess I'm still afraid to see you, I'm afraid to eat ...... face again."

Gu Lingye blushed suddenly.

"Am I that scary? Actually, I can only thank them now, if it weren't for them, where would you be able to come back......? I'm so embarrassed......"

"It's okay, it's okay. They came again on the second day of the new year to pay New Year's greetings. When the time comes, you just need to cook a few good dishes. By the way, your father doesn't like to eat seafood, they send a lot, you can bring more back. And those canned food and fruit ......."

"Okay, okay, knowing that you have two good students who don't forget their roots, don't show off......"

"They were your students in the first place......

At this time, Gu Lingye looked at Chang Xianzhang, who was in good spirits, and really smiled from the bottom of his heart......