In the dim space, the girl jumped alone, the horn of the tape recorder in the corner played the harsh music frantically, the wild sound, made her forget everything around her, just tirelessly doing one action after another, jumping, jumping, jumping, not feeling the soreness of the muscles, not feeling the moaning of the bones, as if she couldn't even see the mirror wall in front of her, flowing through the field of vision, was an open notebook, under the lamp her thin figure lying on it, rustling to leave lines of handwriting.

It was a diary in English:

August 22, 2004, fine

I always think of my childhood, the sunshine of California, the sea and the beach of San Francisco, the abandoned sewers in the backyard and the old sycamore with a swing in front of the door.

My mother said that in October of the year I was born, there was a strong earthquake in San Francisco, which caused the whole city of high-rise buildings to shake and collapse like a wild horse into the reeds.

Later recalled, their prophecies were not fulfilled, or rather, not all of them.

When I was a child, I was a little wild, I liked to play, I liked to run between the sea and the beach, the waves hit, I got wet, I was spanked by my mother when I came home, and sometimes I went to the sewers to explore, although I was often scared by rats and screamed, but that damp and dark space made my imagination fly freely, guessing that behind the darkness, there would be a treasure buried by the cowboys many years ago, or a weapon hidden by the gangsters in the 60s, or a murder scene?

A person is so excited, scared, but until he grew up, he never stepped into the dark to investigate, now that I think about it, maybe since I was a child I was destined to be a person who retreated, on the surface it looks powerful, but in fact, hidden underneath, is just a cautious heart, yearning for many things, but also afraid of many things.

It's like when I first joined the company, I was afraid of the camera, I was afraid of the strangers around me, and then now, I am afraid of rejection!

He had been gone for many days, and after the celebration at the barbecue restaurant that night, he was never seen again, as if goodbye. In fact, there is his number in the mobile phone, and there are a few times when I muster up the courage to call him, but my hand is pressed on the button, and I can't dial it out of just a few numbers. Occasionally, I thought about going to the place where his crew was, wandering around, maybe I was lucky enough to bump into him, and then pretended to be very coincidental and said hello: Hi, why are you here?

But all this is just a thought, just like the dividing line between light and darkness in the sewer when I was a child, I wanted to step over it many times, and finally I just hesitated to retract my steps and turn away......

I really hate myself like this, I hate that I am always afraid, I hate that I am always cowardly when faced with a choice, and I hate that I can't be brave for anything.

I wanted to change, so yesterday I made an attempt, but reality ruthlessly dismissed my efforts.

…… Miss him so much!

I want to think so much!

Especially now, when they are all despicable and slanderous of me.

I don't think he'll be, like I've always kept, that birthday wish......

……

Ahn Junhyuk stood at the door, watching the girl sweating desperately, a little puzzled, I don't know why she has to train so hard for Lu, until two female trainees passed by the door of this dance studio, saw Zheng Xiuyan inside, and whispered gossip to solve his doubts.

"Have you heard? The company's newly prepared girl group seems to have brushed her off. ”

"It's been spread a long time ago, and it's said that she took the initiative to ask the head of the room to join, hmph, relying on her high qualifications, do you think you're sorry?"

"That's it, I've been a trainee for 4 years, and I'm still nesting in this place, don't force it if you don't have the strength!"

"Yes, yes, if I had been brushed off, I would have had the face to stay here, and I would have packed up and gone home a long time ago. The girl's voice was a little louder. …,

"Shhhh......h

"What are you afraid of, and you don't know him. ”

"I want to get to know you, you're very handsome!"

"Boys are too handsome and unsafe ......"

Behind it was some nonsense that was not nutritious, and Ahn Joon-hyuk didn't listen to it anymore and refocused his attention on the dancing figure in the room.

Carefully search for memory, there is not much contact with Zheng Xiuyan, and there is naturally less when she speaks, in my impression, the picture about her is only more profound twice, the first time is when we first met, she put her hand in her pocket and walked in a figure eight step, every time I think of it, I feel funny, before it was difficult to imagine that a girl would walk like this.

The second time was on that rainy day, she trembled in horror in the thunder, with a faint nasal coquettishness, and the most inexplicable words at the end.

Brother Handsome said that he was a wood who didn't understand the joy of life, but he was not wrong, he had not been in love for more than ten years, and his studies and family took up most of his time. And in the dream, in fact, there is not much experience, to work hard for a career, to take care of my sister, there is no time to think about those things, and then there is time after becoming famous, but it has already become a cold character, it is impossible to accept strangers in the heart, of course, there are also business entertainments, a lot, but that's just a transaction of money and flesh.

Therefore, he didn't quite understand what Zheng Xiuyan's slightly ambiguous words meant, and he didn't know what her courageous actions meant, and then he thought about talking to her, but she was running away, and she forgot about it over time.

In general, she is poorly understood, and she always has a cold face and a strong appearance in her memory, but that rainy day told him that maybe it was just her disguise.

A slightly contradictory person - the impression is so concise.

But this concise impression, after hearing the two girls just now, and her hard-working and lonely figure in the dance studio, suddenly had a tendency to collapse.

Looking at the room silently, Ahn Jun-hyuk outside the door was motionless, and inside the door, the girl was also unconscious, continuing to move repeatedly and mechanically.

In her mind, the picture of the diary was gradually fading, just like the act of quietly writing it down yesterday and silently burning it, when the handwriting was finally turned into a phantom that gradually dissipated, her vision was blurred by something, she slowly stopped moving, and stood in a daze.

The mirror wall in front of her reflected a girl who was exactly the same as her, two lines of tears, at some point filled the girl's eyes, overflowed, slid across the cheeks, and gathered into crystal droplets reflecting the light in the jaw, trembling with rapid breathing.

She wiped her eyes vigorously, but the action was like opening a floodgate, and the more she wiped it, the more it flowed, until the sound of her breathing became a low sob.

"Don't cry!jesscia, don't cry......"

She was so stubborn, and said to herself over and over again, that she hated to be so vulnerable, that she hated to reveal her vulnerability, and that she should care about the gossip of those people? They were jealous, and they wept for the jealousy of others, it was so stupid.

However, I really couldn't help it...... At every moment it was as if she heard whispers accusing her, and their sarcastic gaze from an angle she couldn't see was like a sharp sword, stabbing her heart all over the body.

Really, I can't help it......

"Woo......"

The crying that had been trying to suppress finally flowed out of her lips, and the girl in the mirror slowly squatted down, and the shadow covered her......