I'm being caught by fear, I want to take the world as it is, I want to go back to the way it was.

But at the same time, I understand very well that these are just fears, just physiological states.

Either way, these are realizations, and it seems that they can never be changed, and I can't go back to the slumber I once was.

I think of what is happening as a visual element, I think it's not my control, and I feel like it's a hassle to explain my worldview to others.

Even, a lot of the time, my explanations are just to flesh out the characters.

Why become rich?

Why stand at the top of life?

Why, to live?

I don't understand that if a person starts thinking about these things, he will be ostracized by the people around him, or he will need to be rescued.

It's hilarious, it's something that only happens in dreams, and it's a society that only a monster with no reason and all emotions can create.

It's not reasonable at all, I don't see the rationality of this world.

The unreal world is like this, it is not real in itself, and in order to create a sense of reality, no matter how this sense of reality is created, there is always a hurdle that cannot be avoided.

That is, you can't talk about the truth.

And how can a world that can't ask about the real and can't explore the real world?

Ignoring the question of "the reality of the world" in every possible way, I ran and spun as if I was being chased, but I was not allowed to stop and see what was chasing me.

Fear makes all this happen as a matter of course, and the cross-dressing of fear can easily make me think that I have gotten rid of my fear, such as working hard to motivate and strive for progress.

In addition, "useful" has always been regarded as true, such as inventing theories that can be useful in real life, building airplanes and satellites, and so on, so these theories are regarded as true.

.

Just like in the game, the runes of three small fireballs can be stacked into a large fireball, what is this real?

"To so-and-so, this is the truth", but this discourse itself shows that this is not the truth, just prejudice.

For me, the table is coffee, but is the table really coffee?

Someone jumped off a building and wrote, "I don't think I'm going to die, and the feeling is so strong that it's as simple as jumping down a staircase." ”

So, jumped off the building and died.

But I saw the other person die, and that's just an element of my picture, but what about the other person?

Maybe the other party really stood up, patted his butt but his feet were a little numb, and then laughed that he really didn't die.

It's still just what you're aware of, and there's no reason to think that "what I'm aware" is the same thing as "what you're aware."

God, my head is really full of shit.

There's nothing to believe, I don't understand why I'm holding on, just die.

What hell about human nature, emotional intelligence, kindness, etc., are all just character attributes, wanting to gain recognition from other people's mouths and make themselves real existences.

I treat these character attributes as real, and thus become real myself, so that I don't even think about whether I'm real or not.

Wrapped layer by layer, countless character attributes are piled up like this, and then form a human appearance.

In the deepest part, there is nothing, there are no characters at all.

It's not a bad thing to die, death is never a bad thing, and it's no different from other character states.

There is no difference between death and happiness, pain, happiness, and depression, it is still just the state of the character, and it is still only the content of awareness.

The idea of resisting death is itself wishful thinking, and it is just brainwashing.

It's still for the empire, if everyone doesn't resist death and commits suicide casually, then the construction of the imperial dream may not go well.

Of course, no one can say clearly, maybe everyone no longer resists death, maybe after a large number of people commit suicide, everyone suddenly becomes relaxed and natural, suddenly becomes fearless and enjoys life.

Is this situation a good thing?

I don't know, judging good or bad just comes from distortions in my head, and what I hate most now is the distortion in my head.

It stinks and is bad, and it pretends to be the truth, then looks for it in narrow cognition, and finally protects it with emotions.

It's just that I have a problem with my brain that I believe in those distortions and believe in those.

Waiting for the Grim Reaper with joy and with anticipation to destroy the whole world.

The role of Yuan Changwen has nothing to do with me, at the beginning, this kind of thinking only brought fear, all kinds of fears derived from "no role".

For example, what to do if you don't have money, what to do if you beg, what to do if your family and business are ruined.

As the slaughter progressed, this thought brought more anger, and it was not why I pretended that I was pretending to be real.

And now, it seems to be dispensable, I know that the role of Yuan Changwen is not me, and I also know that I am grabbing the role.

It doesn't matter if you want to die, but whether you die or not, after all, it's just something you are aware of.

The truth has always been there, and whether I can wake up or not doesn't affect the reality, it's still just a picture element.

Just like in a movie, whether the character knows that he or she is acting in the movie does not affect the screen.

And the weird thing is that if a character in a movie knows that he is just acting in a movie, what kind of words and deeds will he think.

Once the world is recognized as unreal, all those persistent pulls and grasps will dissipate, and all words and deeds are just for fun.

Then, most of the time I spend my time doing nothing, not thinking that the world is unreal on the one hand, and being full of fear of "trying to make money" on the other.

Maybe you won't even have the mentality of traveling and playing around, just like there is no pressure at all and there is no release.

I knew that I would die, or rather, I was no longer willing to believe that the character of Yuan Changwen was me.

Before, I didn't want to believe that the world was false, but now it's the opposite, and only fear can keep me firmly in front of the character.

It's all the content of realization, no matter how much you refute it with emotion, it's not true, it's not real.

The presentation of the elements of the picture can be anything, and there is no cause and effect, or any humble supplication.

"I've been trying, even at a low point in my life, I've been holding on to hope for decades, never giving up trying, and then dying. ”

This kind of story will not be liked by everyone, it seems that those who work hard should have a good ending, and it seems that decades of sweat should be worthy of the fruits of success.

But this thought is fear in itself, a humble prayer in itself.

The elements of the picture are presented in this way, without the slightest problem, even if they are buried in the dust of history.

All the ideas are distorted in the head, and they are not worth believing at all, even if the slashing rhetoric itself is not true.

-- Pull up to load the next chapter s -- >