Assertiveness and ego?

In the left-view way of thinking, one can be unassertive, but one cannot be without oneself.

However, today's Jiuluo has obviously walked into a dead end.

Hollow and numb eyes make people feel a little chilled.

It's not so much a human eye as it is just an artificially made bead.

From the first moment he saw Jiuluo's eyes, Eleven had already understood.

Today's Jiuluo is just a walking corpse who lives by relying on a little residual expectation.

And the desire she was looking forward to happened to be the left view of the god in her memory.

——

Eleven saw a lot of things in Jiuluo's eyes.

Longing, madness, extreme, hollowness, numbness.

Only the most important self disappeared without a trace.

Jiu Luo's gaze at Eleven was more like obsession.

This is a more insane than the believer, a total entrustment from which he is completely caught up.

——

This has long gone beyond simple dependence on emotion.

Jiuluo: This is basically dedicating himself to Zuoguan as an object.

She has absolute trust and expectation for Zuoguan, but at the same time she also discards herself and gives up on herself.

It's like indulging in an emotional drug, and although the process is self-absorbing, in the end it is a poison that damages the self.

——

Not to mention, Eleven's situation and identity can't promise Jiuluo to stay at all.

Take a hundred steps back, even if you stay?

It is not difficult to guess that Jiuluo will always accompany him after that.

She put everything she had into the hands of Zuoguan, just to simply stay by Zuoguan's side.

Abandon everything about yourself, abandon yourself.

Just to immerse yourself in a world of self-satisfaction.

To put it mildly, what's the difference between this and drug use?

Eleven's loss of affection will turn into a left-hand view.

But if Jiu Luo is the same, he will only become an empty shell.

——

It's like a girl who wants to escape from the world and never go anywhere in order to settle down in a temple.

But is this really a good result?

Of course not!

At least that's what Zuoguan thinks.

Because I lost so much that I shouldn't have lost.

——

——

——

To put it simply, it is a relationship of "degree".

Jiu Luo pushed too hard, even if she felt how important Zuoguan was.

But it shouldn't be so impulsive today and say so many out-of-control words.

The more impulsive and eager she is, the more she reflects her numbness and avoidance of herself.

——

Jiu Luo just wants to find a trustworthy person to accompany him forever.

From the moment she positioned this person as a "left-hand view", her mentality had actually changed.

Because Jiuluo understands Zuoguan and knows that Zuoguan will not really dislike himself.

That's why she made even more crazy promises, just to repay Zuoguan's "understanding" of herself.

In other words, the reason why Jiuluo is so extreme is precisely because she is disgusted with herself.

Because I felt that I was dirty, I wanted to return to Zuoguan as soon as possible.

Because she feels that her existence is a hopeless sewer rat.

So in my own heart, I began to deny myself.

As a result, the emotions intensified, and the whole body included negative emotions.

Gradually, I used myself as a prop, and my eyes became hollow and numb.

Like a bystander, her mind is full of just looking for a safe haven that can accommodate her true essence.

——

Although it may seem reassuring to be around the left-hand view, this kind of peace of mind is completely begging for the attitude of losing oneself.

So......

That's not right!

Just like Eleven just said.

It's just an escape.

Jiu Luo is just denying himself.

——

"Adult ......"

For Eleven's already somewhat obvious refusal reaction, Jiu Luo's eyes showed a hint of unease.

"I will recognize your intentions, but I cannot stay with you. ”

Jiu Luo froze in place, looking into Eleven's eyes without giving up, and after being frustrated, he still seemed to plead, and asked with trembling lips:

"Why?"

"Because someone is lost.

Someone lost their soul.

Someone has lost their ego.

Someone has forgotten the old days. ”

Eleven exhaled slowly, and then said:

"Rather than staying with you, it's better to stand far away for the time being.

If you can......"

Eleven's voice was soft:

"I want to be your enemy until you find that self in the process of struggle. ”

Eleven's words are destined to become the invisible chains of Zuoguan and Jiuluo.

——

——

——

Eleven left, leaving Jiuluo alone in a chair in a daze.

She lost her mind for a while, and finally, a smile finally appeared on her face that was a little lost.

Because she has already figured it out, the left view has not changed, only herself has changed.

When you have already denied yourself, hated yourself, and even had to give up on yourself.

Zuoguan still remembers his past, and only Zuoguan has not denied his past self.

He has given up on himself, but Zuoguan has not given up, he remembers all the details and the past about himself.

Although......

I was still a little disappointed to be rejected, but Jiuluo's heart was still a little sweet.

It's just that I don't know when the next time the two sides will meet.

——

"Sister......

A familiar voice came from under the bed, and Xiaobei, who had been lying in ambush under the bed for a long time, finally crawled out carefully.

"Got it?"

Jiu Luo's thoughts were all disrupted, and at the same time, he immediately changed to a very concerned look.

Xiaobei stood up, patted the dust on his body, and nodded:

"Well, look at it!"

She held a small square mirror in her hand.

Jiu Luo hurriedly took it, and immediately, he saw the shadow of Eleven in the mirror.

Or rather, a photo of Eleven's back.

This mirror is not actually a mirror, it has another name in the underworld, and that is the photographic mirror.

To put it bluntly, it is the camera of the underworld.

Jiu Luo traced a photo in the mirror, but found that all the photos that Xiaobei secretly took seemed to be about Eleven's back.

I can't help but be a little disappointed.

"Why is it all back?"

There was a slight hint of anger in his tone, Xiaobei heard this, but he had to say helplessly:

"There's no way around it, the position under the bed isn't in line with the angle from which Lord Zuoguan is staying, and I've done my best.

Why don't you take a look at it again? I remember that there seem to be a few good angles. ”

Xiaobei tentatively suggested, while Jiu Luo nodded and continued to swipe to the right for the next photo.

In the end, I finally drew out a sideways photo of Eleven, and I couldn't help but light up.

This is the angle of Eleven when he just sat down and drank tea.

In the photo, Eleven is drinking tea, and his demeanor looks like an ancient scholar.

Seeing this photo, Jiu Luo couldn't help but stop the movements in his hand, and a hint of a girl's unique appeared in his eyes.

I only saw Xiaobei next to him silently.