I often think, in fact, it is not difficult to be a palace maid, what is difficult is life, what Chang Yun wants is freedom, what I want is the glory above ten thousand people, it is the wealth that has been piled up, but God just loves to joke, and he doesn't give us what he really wants.

Listening to Nan Xi, Gongsun Jiaao took pity on her for recovering from a serious illness, and had loosened her mouth to seal her concubine, and kept silent about the past, which was the first time that Changyun had been seriously compensated for for the first time, which was also very commemorative for his whole person.

It's a pity that the emperor can only be regarded as an oracle, and he hasn't gone through the right process, the rules of the Jing Palace have been followed for four hundred years, and the country is about the same, starting from Zhaorong in Jiuqing, the concubines should have treasure books and treasure seals, but Gongsun Jiaao is really stingy to death, not to mention the treasure book, he didn't even move a pen to announce an edict, I made up for my own scenery at the canonization ceremony at that time, and made up for Chang Yun's meaningless look in Hanliang Palace, I feel that this is about the turn of feng shui, how brilliant it was at the beginning, how bleak it is now, the bad things I did didn't find me, but all went to Changyun。

...............

I owe it to her.

When I said this to Gongsun Di, he was not as pessimistic as me, and he had the leisure to joke with me, bluntly saying that in his opinion, Gongsun Jiaao's liking for Changyun was at least half true, otherwise his imperial brother would not have deliberately snubbed Concubine Cheng and Mrs. Yu for so long, and let Xia Meiren not be killed, leaving her to be a raft in the palace, in exchange for Fu Ji, he probably except for the mud, that is, both sides should not be offended, without the courage that the Son of Heaven should have, if he is really a sick and weak straw bag, he can't even do half of his imperial brother.

"But the Fu family's children have a good eye for picking women, at least they don't look away" Gongsun Di summed up my face with a matter, and then nodded: "Well, it's not a loss to die." ”

Fu Ji was burned to ashes, but everyone, even Gongsun Di felt accustomed to it, they always refused to let him go, let go of this sick and pale man, and used those so-called old things to ridicule as a joke, which was a great disrespect to Fu Ji.

It is also a blasphemy against me and his feelings.

I clenched my hands into fists, inhaled deeply, and then exhaled slowly, and completed these processes very quickly, before I could barely suppress my heart and squint at him: "Is it interesting to bring up the old things again, even if the first emperor is dead, but some people are not dead, and now the new box is filled with the old sword, that is, the concubine is gone, and there is still the position of the side concubine that makes me worry, has the Marquis also forgotten?"

Gongsun Di didn't want me to say such straightforward words, so he was silent for a while;

But he thought about it for a while, and then smiled: "I have forgotten but I have never forgotten, but now I can't do it, the imperial brother is waiting to see Chengguogong, not to see me, I want nothing, I'm afraid that in the near future, Chang Qing will go against me and step on it." ”

This doesn't make sense, who doesn't know that the Marquis of Che is the emperor's younger brother and the first person among the favored ministers.

If he offends the emperor and falls out of favor, what should I do?

My forbearance, my commitment, everything I have done for myself and for Changyun, is that still meaningful?

My heart tightened, and I was a little dazed.

"It's good to get used to this kind of thing, after all, ........." Gongsun Ji frowned and doubted when he saw me, and he didn't intend to interrogate, just smiled, put one arm on my lap, and his tone was just like a spring breeze and warmth: "People's hearts are unpredictable~!"

When I went back from the Guanghan Palace, I still didn't come back to my senses, as soon as I stepped into the palace gate with one foot, I heard the familiar and almost endless crying of the four princes, the cry was like a magic sound, the sound was endless, it was impossible to cover his mouth while people were not paying attention, Qingyun and the little orange had to be anxious with me, but the fragrant peach was still with me, knowing that it was not easy to raise a little child, and I comforted me in private, so that I would have the opportunity to give birth to one myself in the future, maybe it would not be so annoying.

However, does it hurt to give birth to one, is it like Fu Ji, it makes me feel torn and stripped all the time, and even my breathing is suffocating?

If it was really that easy to give birth to a child, Liu Cainu would not have given birth for a day and a night before giving birth to Fu Ji's child.

It can be seen that such a thing is not easy, and I have not forgotten the sweat of Changyun that day;

You don't have to feel that kind of pain, it's already engraved in your heart, pierced into the root, and you can't pull it out.

I think I really don't have a relationship with children.

Even if there is, I don't have the heart to take care of them.

I know crying all day long, it's really noisy.

The affairs of Yude Palace are complicated, Qingyun is now making tea, and the green garden is also in order, on the other hand, the fragrant peach has lost a lot of weight, and I can't see it when I just entered Yude Palace, and now the waist is full, and the soft baby fat has faded by half, and there is already a weak willow like Changyun in the meaning of raising my hand, and I prevented her from approaching Fu Ji at the beginning, no less' Mention 'her, at this time, Yude Palace counts me, there are already three or four beautiful palace maids, all of them are not simple characters, I have no intention of competing with Changyun, and I am not used to Gongsun Jiaao's virtue, I am afraid that a few of them will have some side thoughts, and once they fly on the branches, it is difficult to control.

However, everything can not be preconceived, Changyun has always demanded himself with the appearance of the eldest lady and the main room of the palace, thinking that no matter if it is any woman in the palace, if it is really the emperor who takes a fancy to it, she has no time to eat that idle vinegar, it is better to think about it and see how to pave the way for King Yu.

I accompanied the fragrant peach to shake the cradle for the four princes, and put Gongsun Di's words in his mouth and chewed again and again, thinking that he was still joking with me, maybe the emperor was dissatisfied with him, and there was a precaution, but Chengguo Gong was just a foreign minister, and Fu Ji was because he listened to the instigation of Chengguo Gong, so he degraded King Yu to Runan, if Gongsun Jiaao really wanted to appoint such a wall grass swaying on both sides, then what is the difference between him and Fu Ji.

Xiang Taozi can sing lullabies and whisper softly, and the four princes in the cradle obviously sleep very quietly, so this little kid is nothing more than that;

Gongsun Di is extremely thoughtful, and what he holds outside is always more tenacious than the natives in the palace, cry when he should cry, eat when he should eat, the eyebrows and eyes can see the handsome foundation, the bridge of the nose is quite clever and the eyes are bright, but I don't know if it is like the emperor after it grows, and whether it can be fooled like in the Guanghan Palace.

Regarding the child's problem, Chang Yun and I have also argued many times, I always say that the child can't get used to it, tell Chang Yun not to coax him in his arms when he hears someone crying, he will fall asleep when he is tired of crying, and no one will pay attention to him a few more times, and when he can't drink milk when he cries, he will know that it is okay.

It's a pity that my parenting heart sutra was only exchanged for Chang Yun's sentence "Why is my sister so vicious", and it came to an end.

Chang Yun is not there, but the news of Hanliang Hall is constant, I saw that she was crowned Concubine Jing, and there is no substantial change in this palace, a few small palace people in Yude Palace have long been unable to stay, and they don't do anything all day, so they are thinking about how to go back to their original master to serve, I think I can't catch it, but it's not too late to wait for Chang Yun to come back and drop it one by one, anyway, the emperor owes her a lot, and there are four princes This death-free gold medal is there, and she has the confidence to do anything.

I looked at the fragrant peach opposite, she was also in a daze like me just now, and I could see that she had been quite troubled recently, the first black plum has been living a good life outside, I guess what she can think about as the second-in-command is nothing more than a lifelong event;

Gongsun Di said that he would soon lose power, and as soon as this remark came out, it seemed that even the little bit of my heart for him was erased, and I was determined to go to the dining room more, where there was a big man who was at least sincere, who really liked me and loved me, but whatever I wanted, as long as he could do it, he would never refuse, and he could fully satisfy my vanity—even if he was just a eunuch.

I have told Xiao Tangerine more than once that I can't live this life, and more than once I have used Qi Kaiji's kindness to me to instruct him to run around for me, just like Deng Fuzi said (Deng Fuzi: ?), people always have to look forward, Fu Ji has a bad temper, then coax, if Gongsun Di is only pleased with my appearance, then don't let him lose his freshness, use is never unilateral, when they enjoy the benefits of power, I am also planning for myself, and it is very measured, it can be said that there is no trace.

The bitter summer is long, more leaky, the night is very hot, I often don't sleep well at night because of frequent sweating, even if I fall asleep, I can't dream of anything good, I sometimes dream that I have entered the Hou Mansion, but unfortunately there are more than me and Shu Jiao in the Hou Mansion, Gongsun Di has a lot of women, they walked out of the pavilions and pavilions, and disappeared from the end of the corridor, I once chased up, looked down and saw a pool of red and pink skeletons on the ground, some red flesh and blood are still attached to the skeleton, all of which indicate the cruelty of the fight between women.

This definitely does not bode well............

An absolute nightmare.

In addition, I also dreamed of dry bones on the battlefield, and saw swords dancing wildly, and my god-like father did not look like a god anymore, his old man had a rotten breath, the old man could no longer shelter me and Changyun, from the protector god to an ordinary mortal, this dream was extremely real, but also extremely bloody, I seemed to see my father bathed in blood, his chest pierced by a silver spear, but his left hand tightened the reins, and the long knife in his right hand never let go................

Then I woke up.

When I woke up, I found that my face was wet;

It turned out that when I dreamed, I was already in tears.