It's winter again, and time passes year by year. Pen, fun, pavilion www. biquge。 infoThis is the sixteenth year that I have come to this era. Sixteen years have passed like a snap of a finger, and looking back on the past is still like yesterday. From the age of thirteen to the age of twenty-eight, the best years of a woman have been wasted in the battle of the high-walled compound, and she is still trapped in it. In this way, he lived a life in vain, there was no lingering love, no vigorous life, except for physical and mental exhaustion, only full of scheming. Such a life is not gorgeous, only heavy.

My heart is at home, when will my heart be at peace. Sitting alone in front of the window, looking at the desolation of the deep winter outside the window, asking himself so silently, all he got was a sigh.

"What are you sighing for?" Yin Zhen's voice suddenly sounded unexpectedly, interrupting his gloomy thoughts.

When he looked up and saw Yinzhen, who he hadn't seen for several months, he was in a trance for a while, and he didn't react until he got closer, got up and let him sit down, and said, "I don't feel a little bored, but why did you come here today?"

As he spoke, the maidservant came in from outside with tea, and then hurried away, and did not stay in the house, so that only himself and him were left in the house.

"Why didn't anyone stay in the house to wait?" Yin Zhen picked up the teacup and took a sip to disperse the cold air, stared at the teacup without raising his eyes, and asked lightly.

"I've always liked to be quiet, and I feel upset when someone is around, anyway, Xiaoshunzi is outside, and if there's anything to say, it's just to say hello. Expecting him to ask like this, he smiled lightly and joked casually: "Why do you have time to come here today, I thought you wouldn't come this time if you were really annoyed." ”

"Yesterday, the two children of Hongli and Hongday were called to the study to take the school examination, and their studies were good, and they did improve. However, the temperaments of these two children are really different, Hongli is lively and open-minded, and Hongli is upright and serious. If you want to say that Hongli is the most like me, I have more thoughts, but Hongli is sleek and knowledgeable about personnel and quite atmospheric, I think this is the result of your deliberate teaching, right?" Yin Zhen didn't answer my words, but just said to himself.

Seeing that Yin Zhen didn't seem to be willing to mention the previous matter, he didn't dwell on it, and followed his words and said without concealment: "There are deliberate ingredients, but it's more to follow the trend." Hongli's temperament was originally like Sister Qian, cheerful and easy to ask, but after all, he is still young, and it is normal to be a little playful and impetuous, and Hongli has been stubborn and strong since he was a child, maybe the temperament of both of us is like this, he is naturally like me, some are easy to think too much, and it is inevitable to be stingy. But that's fine, I just hope that Hongyang can be a rich and noble son in the future, and he doesn't need to do much, and he is fortunate in life to die peacefully. ”

My outspokenness caused Yin Zhen to be silent for a long time, I don't know what he was thinking, and I didn't want to disturb, so the two of them sat quietly opposite each other and drank tea without saying a word.

"Lao Jiu is really affectionate to you, don't you have the slightest emotion?" After the silence, Yinzhen's words suddenly changed, which made my heart tense.

What should come is going to come after all, in terms of Yinzhen's heart, he should have had a problem with me and Yinzhen as early as when he got that booklet. At that time, he didn't dig deeper, there were many reasons, there was affection for me, and there was the dispermission of the situation at the time, but more because he didn't like to easily believe the results given to him by others, he would go to the exclusion and verification by himself, and then get the evidence he finally found to confirm or deny all this.

After all, there is a gap between mustard and suspicion, and the ambiguous intersection between me and Yinzhen in the past also exists, which are indelible facts, and Yinzhen's investigation process will inevitably be mixed with the accumulation and calculation of people with intentions. The so-called three people become tigers, coupled with incidents such as the last time in the Ministry of Internal Affairs, the balance of truth and falsehood in his heart naturally tilted.

However, Yinzhen has always been sensible, and he has faded away from impetuousness and become more sober and sensitive. Perhaps driven by the understanding of my temperament and the affection that has not yet faded, after being alienated and indifferent for a long time, I finally chose to face it head-on. For this, I am relieved and grateful, at least to prove that his feelings for me over the years are genuine, and he is willing to give me a chance to defend himself.

From his questioning, I felt the hesitation and uneasiness that he tried his best to hide, he should have determined Yinyu's thoughts, but he was not sure what I thought, and the things I found in his hands could not explain what kind of attitude I had towards Yinyu.

"You have the same affection for me, don't you?" I replied with a chuckle, "In fact, every woman hopes to meet a man who can be genuinely good to her in this life, and I am no exception. But fate is sometimes a mysterious thing, just like me, you and Jiu Ye, it should have been me and you before he met, but I missed it by mistake, but even so, in the end I still married you. ”

"So...... Are you unwilling......" Yin Zhen still lowered his eyes and didn't look at me, but asked coldly, his tone was very light, so faint that he couldn't feel the emotions contained in it.

Even such an indifferent tone could not weaken the terrifying sense of oppression exuded by Yinzhen's body, but under such a sense of oppression, it made me chuckle, shook my head and said: "When I was a child, I heard someone say a sentence, he said: What is fate, not looking for it, but waiting in place, no matter how missed, no matter how far apart, it will always meet again one day and then be able to stay together for a lifetime is fate." Do you believe that you are such a being to me?"

"Do you dare to say that you don't have the slightest affection for him?" Yin Zhen was stubborn and suspicious, although his expression was a little soft, but he insisted on asking this question an answer.

"The human heart is flesh and blood, and I know everything he does, and I am really touched by the help he gave me especially in my most difficult times, but it is not love, at least in my opinion you give me more, don't you? Can we still reassure you after more than ten years of affection?" I said, and there was no hint of falsification in the sincerity of my words, and there was no need to deceive.

Yin Zhen sighed, raised his eyes to look at me and said, "Actually, I never suspected that you had a personal relationship with Lao Jiu, but I just felt that you were always very ethereal and distant, even if you could see and touch, it was always not so real and could not be grasped." For so many years, it seems that nothing can really enter your heart, and neither me nor Lao Jiu seems to be able to move you by anything. You are a smart and selfish woman, you can always see through many things like a bystander, and then calculate the various interests clearly, and will stand in a position in your favor to plan, but your plan is not to fight but to escape. Are you really hard-hearted?"

I didn't expect Yinzhen to say this, his words made me tremble in my heart. Spectator, evasion—these bloody adjectives are like tearing a big hole in the disguise I've been covering up so well, and I don't know how to respond.

"That's it, I know that it has been difficult for you over the years, and I won't ask about these things about you and Lao Jiu again. I just hope you don't let me down. Facing me who fell into silence with a solemn expression, Yinzhen's expression became more and more bitter and dark, what he wanted was not such a tacit silence, but he wanted to hear my rebuttal and explanation, but he waited for it to be just like that.

Yinzhen walked out of the house lonely, and I was still silent. I finally understood why the prophets of old were all blind men, because they knew too much but were powerless to change, because they were different from ordinary people, and because they were afraid to get close to people because they were afraid of losing. I wouldn't be like that, if I didn't know what was going to happen and what it would be like now. I didn't want to think about it, I didn't dare to think about it, I just kept asking myself what I should do. (To be continued.) )