"Cheng Cheng, you have lost ...... weight"

Chang Tianhao stretched out his hand and wanted to caress the other party's face, but Cheng Yushi twisted his head and turned away.

He sighed and curled his fingers back.

He knew very well that the other party's performance was not shy, but resistance, resistance from the heart.

She had a reluctant smile on her face, and her heart was full of pain, which was clearly projected through a pair of eyes.

I know your pain, but I don't know how to justify and relieve you.

On February 7, Chang Tianhao locked himself in his room and thought about it all morning, taking stock of the absurdity of the past half a month, and was shocked to find that his decline and degeneration in the field of feelings and desires were so fast, he gave himself a reason: This is caused by my broken love.

It is the most painful thing to face yourself, especially when you have to dissect the flaws, inadequacies, and even sin, dirty, and depravity in the depths of the soul.

It is relatively easy to evaluate whether a person has violated the law or not, because the law has been achieved, laid out, and publicly placed there, and as long as it is compared, it can be judged whether it is illegal or not, and to what extent.

However, it is much more difficult to judge whether the self violates morality, because there is no clear and strict boundary between morality, not only the moral standards and codes of conduct in everyone's mind are not necessarily the same, but even the moral standards of individuals in different time periods and different situations are also different.

In many cases, the important thing is not to judge whether it is logical, but to see whether it can convince oneself.

Therefore, no matter how painful it is, you can only face it head-on.

Of course, when you think about it in your head, you can be more profound, but when it comes to the pen, the situation is different.

He studied history as an undergraduate before he was reborn, and of course he was well aware of the flaws of the so-called first-hand materials of the parties, and in order to hide their inner uneasiness, they deliberately created all kinds of twists and turns and emotions in the text. If you don't look at other works and materials, you will be very sympathetic to Chang Kaishen when you look at the diary itself, thinking that he is full of necessity when doing this and that, full of objective and environmental restrictions, and he has no choice but to write.

The diary is written for yourself, but is the content all for yourself?

Of course not!

Because Chang Kaishen never writes about the power logic behind love, just as he wrote in "Diary" that he missed Chen Jieru and seized the opportunity to pursue Meiling, you can explain that he had to do it as a last resort in order to consolidate power, but in fact, Chang Tianhao saw it very clearly, even if there was no Meiling, Chang Kaishen would not go on with Chen Jieru anymore.

Face yourself, the most important thing is not to avoid it!

After taking stock for a long time, he found that he was still worried about Cheng Yushi, which couldn't deceive himself. Just as when you enter the state of a sage, your mind is full of feelings rather than desires.

Thinking about this, he still wants to talk to Cheng Yushi again, to see if her thoughts and emotions have changed after half a month of calming? He doesn't ask the other party to switch the whole idea and concept in half a month, which is impossible, just as it is impossible for him to switch himself.

He wanted to explore whether the two sides had sought common ground while reserving differences and whether there was an opportunity for them to get along cautiously.

When the phone call was made to her, she readily agreed to come out, Chang Tianhao thought that it would take more words to convince, but he didn't expect it to go so smoothly, he was vaguely a little happy in his heart, thinking that it was a good sign.

But when they really met, he found that he had guessed wrong, and Cheng Cheng behaved very cold and formulaic towards him. This kind of coldness and formulaic is different from his attitude towards Shen Fei, full of regret and incomprehension.

He tried to hold her hand, but it didn't work out - the site fucked up, but holding hands was allowed, even though the hands were from the neck down......

It's even more impossible to hug your waist.

Even when the two walked together, she deliberately kept a certain distance from Chang Tianhao, no less than the distance of ordinary friends - like the distance that the two deliberately kept when they were outside during the summer vacation.

It's just that at that time, keeping a distance was to show others, and now keeping a distance is telling him that the distance between the two is so big......

There's no way to go shopping, so he proposes to go to a café.

I wanted to sit down and talk about the wind and snow, and hedge against the awkward atmosphere. But it didn't take long for Cheng Yushi to turn the topic to his scene at the Public Security Bureau.

He frowned: "Cheng Cheng, how do you know about this matter?"

"You're afraid I know?"

"I ......" Chang Tianhao was speechless, and reluctantly squeezed out a smile, "It's nothing unseemly, I just think it's strange." ”

"What's so strange. Cheng Cheng glanced at him, "Even if I don't inquire, someone will rush up to tell me, after all, there are always many people who want to see your jokes." ”

As soon as he said this, Chang Tianhao understood where the news came from. Isn't Shen Fei's mother Song Li working in the city procuratorate? In the process of terminating such a big case, the city procuratorate must know about it, so Song Li, as a prosecutor, must know the inside story. As for his Chang Tianhao's name, it is even more firmly remembered by others, how can he not inquire clearly?

She must have told Meng Xiuli with added fuel and vinegar, no, it is possible that Meng Xiuli herself knows that Song Li will deliberately choose Cheng Yushi to come over from time to time to be present. The change in Qiao Bingqian's attitude towards Shen Fei, Song Li must be clear, as long as she catches Shen Fei and asks, she will be able to string his Chang Tianhao's name together.

Isn't this trying to hack yourself to death?

He was a little anxious and said: "Cheng Cheng, the truth of the matter is not as rumored, you listen to my explanation......"

"Okay, you say, I'll listen. ”

So he recounted the situation.

Cheng Yushi nodded: "Others are not wrong, what they said is roughly the same as what you said, but they don't know what you are thinking, which is normal, and what you told me intentionally or unintentionally ignored some details." ”

Chang Tianhao's brows were tightly twisted into a Sichuan character, he didn't know what to say, and he didn't know what he was deliberately "hiding". This made him very uneasy.

Cheng Yushi talked about this case, using her thoughts from the perspective of studying "Jurisprudence" and "General Principles of Civil Law": "Even a law student like me, who has only studied law for a semester, knows that it is very far-fetched for New Century Company to involve you so much...... But you don't. ”

Cheng Yushi said softly, "This is not the one I know, the Chang Master who fights for justice and ideals!"

"Boom", his face turned pale.

"You brought Professor Su, brought Lawyer Yang, and came here in a big run, and you came up with great momentum, and finally you blocked the mouths of all parties with 1.6 million yuan, and solved the problem, it seems that you are very sure, very confident, and very calm," Cheng Yushi looked at him with a smile, "This is the power of capital? This is the success and grasp you want to achieve in your pursuit ......of career? Or has the alienation of capital from people developed to the point where even you can't resist it? It has developed to the point that one day you will eventually become the kind of person you hate?" ”

"I ......" he was speechless.

Cheng Yushi is telling the truth, and what he shows is this scene - he doesn't want any justice, he just wants to solve the problem under the premise of maximizing his own interests!

"In this case, you are Mr. Chang, no different from Mr. Li and Mr. Xue, they are all here to solve problems. She calmly commented, "Of course you are a little more humane than them, and you also helped Xiaoxue a little by the way, which is one of the few shining points for you." If you didn't have this shining point, I wouldn't want to see you today. ”

A sentence quickly emerged in his mind, "Children distinguish between right and wrong, and adults only talk about the pros and cons ......", but the words came to his mouth and swallowed hard, usually it is okay to say this sentence when joking, but today when it comes to such a serious sake, if you take this sentence out again, the scene will definitely get out of control.

He is here to solve the problem, not to argue with Cheng Yushi about right and wrong. What's more, she wasn't wrong.

Cheng Yushi sighed: "I still have fantasies, fantasizing that you are probably different from them, even if you chase capital and money, there will still be righteousness in your heart, and justice in your eyes...... But with all due respect, I can't see it. ”

"Cheng Cheng, things are complicated, I ......"

"I know you have a hard time, but don't you insist because you have a hard time?" Cheng Yushi bit her lip and said softly, "I also have a hard time, can you persevere?"

When it comes to this, he can't talk about it anymore, he can only care about his recent situation, but it is the behavior after this sentence "lost weight", and the scene behind it is also very embarrassing.

Chang Tianhao could only send her back with a gloomy expression, and he didn't even know what to say goodbye.

When they broke up and left, Cheng Yushi, who had deliberately maintained an estranged relationship with Chang Tianhao all the way, suddenly rushed over and hugged him, he originally thought that her thoughts would turn after she vented, but unexpectedly, the words that came out of Cheng Yushi's mouth were: "Tianhao, let's not meet again in the future...... Once I see you, I will suffer once!"

After saying this, she quickly let go of her hand and ran home, slamming the door shut, only faint cries were heard.

Chang Tianhao was helpless, sighed for a long time, and remembered to call Shen Lili and ask her to persuade Cheng Yushi not to be too sad.

Lili promised to help him take care of Cheng Yushi's emotions, and called to persuade him: "Yushi, why are you so troubled? I know you still love him...... Tianhao actually loves you too, why do two people who love each other hurt each other so much?"

Cheng Yushi choked up and said: "Just because I still like him, I can't bear to see him become like this...... Lili, do you know, there are many Mr. Zhang, Mr. Li, and Mr. Wang in the world, and there is no shortage of him as a Chang president, but what I like has never been Mr. Chang, what I like is Mr. Chang...... But Master Chang is slowly dying...... If I don't look at it a few times, he will live in my heart for a while longer!"

Shen Lili didn't know how to persuade her, and finally comforted her and told Chang Tianhao the truth.

Chang Tianhao understood why Cheng Yushi didn't want to see him.

She didn't see him, and the impressions and memories in her mind were still the same Changfu, and occasionally with the playfulness and humor of little Bourgeois;

When I saw him and contacted him, I was left with the alienated Mr. Chang.

It is painful to break one's own idol with one's own hands, and there are only two results in this process:

The first outcome is understanding and acceptance.

Just as Chang Tianhao in high school before his rebirth fantasized about Mi Lingjun as his goddess, elegant, intellectual, mature, and charming, he would feel that it was a sin if he had any love for the goddess in a sober state!

Is this side real?

True, of course.

But, that's not all!

Because rebirth narrowed the gap in his heart, because after the accident allowed the two to penetrate, he found out that the goddess was actually a little woman, she longed for comfort, her heart was sensitive, sometimes panicked and sometimes stunned, not to mention the vulnerability, loneliness and fear after the divorce.

Having broken the idol, he dissolved the worship and gained something else. If he still regarded her as an idol, he would never dare to hug her, stick to her, and whisper to her. At least he called Mi Lingjun now, and he wouldn't be as rambling as before, like a helpless campus boy. When she responds, she will no longer look down condescendingly, like pointing at students and children, even if she occasionally reprimands him with a straight face, it is out of joke and inertia, which is harmless, but seems to be more intimate.

Fortunately, this illusion was broken, otherwise it would be a split personality if it was penetrating on the one hand, and worshipping on the other, so Chang Tianhao would live in the shadow of blasphemy for the rest of his life.

The second result is incomprehensible and even more difficult to accept.

This is Cheng Yushi's current scene.

She couldn't accept Chang Tianhao's changes, Chang Tianhao's pursuit of career and abandonment of academia was the first major blow to her, and Chang Tianhao's alienation by capital and utilitarianism was the second major blow to her.

The side of Chang Tianhao that she knows and accepts is, of course, also true.

But, again, not all.

He wanted to ask, "Do you love me, or do you love me in your fantasy?"

But in the end, I didn't dare to ask.

Because he knows he is destined to get an answer.

After all, he and Cheng Yushi became the most familiar strangers, and they became more and more strange in their hearts......

“……

Heartbreak leaves

Turn back to the original desolation and wait

For loneliness

Whether or not to find someone to fill in the blanks in your mind

We became earthly

The most familiar strangers

In the future, each has its own twists and turns

Each sorrow ......"

Lying in the car, he couldn't help but hum Elva's famous song...... He didn't wake up until the phone rang, and the song won't debut until the end of the year!

"Tianhao...... Are you still in Qiantang?" came from the microphone Qiao Bingqian's voice.

"I ...... At. He hesitated and said, "You're very well-informed." ”

"Of course I'm well-informed, I'll know when you go back to Qiantang. ”

"I ......"

"Okay, okay, let's make up a reason and figure out how to prevaricate me...... Otherwise, you will invite me to dinner. ”

Chang Tianhao was speechless: "Let's invite you to dinner directly, I really can't make it up." ”

"When will it be cashed out? Last time someone said that he would come back to see me on the 5th-6th of the winter vacation, I waited and waited, and found that it was the 7th today, and I was wondering, should I turn the wall clock back at home and pretend that it was still the 6th?"

"No, just dinner today, I'll pick you up later......"

。 The fastest website for mobile version update: m.