Extra five: To those years of youth that passed in a flash

Youth, it's a short-lived word. The pen & fun &www.biquge.info amp; pavilion does not represent time in itself, but it can be measured in terms of time, and perhaps at some point it can be defined as an act, a specific spatial environment, or just a written record in a textbook with an explanation of the noun.

But, more often than not, people tend to speak of it as a compliment, to be pursued as something akin to faith, to be exercised as a special immunity, and so on, and most people will get it with age and lose it as they get older.

So, is the definition of youth rights, beliefs, time, space, or something else?

Looking back at the old days, in my memory, youth has always been something that only other people have - and I have long been isolated from the world of youth.

School, friends, classmates, as long as there are people who have something in common, will quickly integrate into it, and then spend each day with laughter and occasional pain, until one day when you step out of school and look back, leaving behind all the rich memories.

However, none of these things are in my last remaining campus memory... No, maybe there is, but it's very little, not a lot compared to the time spent in school. Moreover, many of them belong to specific moments, and they are not the kind of things that are worth remembering for a long time.

More of my time seems to be a swinging pendulum, constantly swinging in a certain range, seemingly busy, but the next second it always returns to the original place, if there is any difference, it is above me, the minute hand used to keep time, and that's it, after a turn, it will return to the original place.

In the face of these, in the dead of night, there is always a voice that keeps shouting to me, "Come here, you don't belong over there", ahhhh Indeed, I'm just a dust bloc that fits into the gears of time, and maybe it's better to survive with the flow.

But what little bit of self-will I had left allowed me to escape that cry, and I didn't know why I was running, to a place where no one could find it, to a place where no one could reach. Unfortunately, I didn't find a place like that.

So, I have become an existence that does not belong here, but also does not belong there, and the place where I can exist is only at the junction between the two, obviously as long as I want to, I can easily cross over, but I have always maintained this state and kept struggling, living on the edge full of youth and gloom.

Because it is on the edge, it does not belong to either side, but it can clearly see the world on both sides, and at some times you can feel the impact of youth and darkness on the soul.

After all kinds of happy and bad things, I also began to think, why can't I completely belong to one of them? I always feel that I can't completely get rid of one of them... I don't know when I started thinking like this, and it was deeply ingrained in my mind.

For example, some people in school will be very liked by the people around them, some people will be isolated by others, some people will be happy to survive here, and some people will feel like prison... For some people, it's become a hell for them. More people spend their school life in an ordinary way.

Obviously, it doesn't make sense to explain these things in a single sentence "everyone is different".

Because, youth.. Not everyone can have it.

Whether it's immunity, space, time, etc., it's all for those who win... For example, those who exist at a fixed point - even if they make mistakes, they will be forgiven, even if they are punished, they will be lighter than others, even if they don't have to take the initiative to invite them to a party or party, they will be the center of the atmosphere, and every day they will enjoy the leisure time brought by everything around them, that is... In the face of this seemingly equal youth, there will be all kinds of injustices after all.

So, in this short period of time, the winners can only be a minority, and the most are the losers.

.....

But is that really the case? I asked myself, with these... Can you really explain what "youth" contains?

When I look to the other side -- I see a completely different picture

People who are walking on the same road and playing with each other, people who are sitting in the same classroom discussing their after-school schedule, couples walking in the park, office workers talking to their families on the phone after work, and elderly people walking in the supermarket looking at all kinds of discounted goods... Even if it's brief, but it's a happy smile, or a good laugh, these... Is it also being favored by youth?

These people are not all young, but there are also middle-aged and elderly people, and time has taken too many things away from them. Surely it will cause pain as well, maybe... It may be a lifetime of pain, but if you don't have enough time to soothe it, you won't forget it. But in reality, there is often a lot more pain than time.

So, with these pains, why do they smile so naturally?

This question has been bothering me and not being able to make a choice... Until then.

On that day, under that cherry blossom tree, I made a decision, and for the first time in my life, I changed everything.

After that, those times became one of the few things I had... Memories to cherish and recall.

But at that time, I just made a choice, and I didn't completely figure out the definition of "youth" for me, although I was very happy and happy. It's a little regret that I've always stayed...

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[Xiaoxue has fallen asleep.you have to be careful not to wake her up.] ]

Yuhihama poked his head out of the room and whispered to me.

[Hmm..]

The palms of my fists were already wet, sweating profusely, and my breathing became a little short.

[Everything went well.] Biqi Gu-kun, don't worry so much.]

Hayama stood with me and comforted me.

But I didn't listen, I just waited for the moment when Yubihama opened the door.

There were a lot of people in the room, including Yatsuki, Yono, Sasaki, and some doctors and nurses in white coats.

Everyone looked at me as I walked in slowly, and made way for a passage in the middle.

Walk to the bed.. I laughed as I looked at the snow that was sleeping quietly - and at another brand new little creature who was announcing his arrival to the world with a loud cry.

Ahhh That's it.. That's it, that's right.. I know.

The so-called youth .. It is probably like a clock, and at the same time as returning to the far point, how could it not be a new beginning? The same is true of the change of day and night, every day is the same, and every day is different.

My Youth... It's over, and he's just getting started.

Therefore, youth is a kind of hope and starting point that will not disappear and bring new hope and starting point when people are unexpected... Good things.

Welcome to this world... My baby.