Chapter 14: The End of Everything and a New Beginning (5)
After entering the studio, I locked the door from the room to avoid unnecessary trouble, and even moved a table against it. Pen × fun × Pavilion www. biquge。 info
[Okay, that's it....] I walked over to the booth and pulled a chair over to it, at least to prepare myself before I started....
[Whew...] Hah...] Take a deep breath, there is no way back now, now that you have decided, you have to continue, and affirm that your choice is the most perfect self.
I took out the phone and dialed her number without the slightest hesitation, and after a while, the call was connected:
[.... Hey] sounded a little confused, and there was a noise coming from the other end of the phone, was it in a classroom or somewhere on campus?
[Yukino, it's me.... Can you hear me?]
[I know... Also, who am I talking to if I can't hear you? ]
The tone under the snow became slightly pleasant, full of the kind of mischievous tone that belongs to girls who are coquettish [What? Did you miss me?]
[Ahh Think, think all the time....] I pulled the microphone over and pressed the red button, and the highest level of broadcasting privileges in the school, all the loudspeakers that were still working in the school, would clearly convey the instructions given here, the broadcast privileges used to guide students to evacuate in the event of an earthquake or fire, classrooms, offices, playgrounds, gymnasiums, and even the principal's office would receive speeches from here. I put the phone aside, turned on the sound playback function, and stared into the microphone [So... Can you hear me now?]
Loudspeakers across the campus said the same phrase [Can you hear me now?], very clearly, without the slightest murmur.
For such a sudden change, Xue Xia herself and her surroundings should have been frightened, and the exclamation from the other end of the phone became more noisy as you could know, and Xue Xia himself fell into a short silence [.... No, it's not like I can hear it, probably... Everybody at school can hear it, ha... What the hell do you want to... Why... There will be my voice... Sounds..] Xue Xia said in surprise, listening to her voice from the announcer with some disbelief.
[Hawkers, I'm in the studio right now... Because I put the microphone close to my phone and turned on the sound playback function, of course the sound under the snow will be picked up, and then it will be broadcast to the whole school through the loudspeaker... Let's hope it goes well [because I want to say it anyway.]
[... Scared... I don't know what you're up to, but I know if I do it again... There are about thirty seconds left, and someone will be arrested for disrupting the campus order, but don't worry, someone will bail you out then...] Listening to the very relaxed tone under the snow, the long-lost joke that makes people cry and laugh, and the slightly worried exhortation, also reassured me a lot.
[Don't worry about this, I have a good door] The noise under the snow has disappeared, and they are all listening attentively to this special broadcast.... Not only that, but probably the whole school will also listen very "seriously", although many people don't know who I am... Everyone should be able to tell the sound under the snow.
[Now, Yukino, we know... It's been almost two years, right?]
[Eh, if you start counting from the day you don't know...] Now, there are still three months, six days, and seven hours.] Unexpectedly, under the snow answered my question with a very precise answer, which surprised me a little... Have you written it down?
I sorted out the nostalgia that I thought this answer brings.,Because time is running out.,It seems that there is a constant knock at the door.,With calls like [open the door and open the door] that are useless in Xi'an City or in the movie.,Is the teacher coming...
[When I first joined the ministry, I was a.... In your words, a little rascal, a social moth, a rotten worm that doesn't change, and zero presence...]
[No, wait!Hachiman, that's...] An anxious voice under the snow suddenly interjected from what I hadn't finished speaking, was it to explain something, knowing that I didn't care about it the most.
[No, Yukino, you're going to finish my sentence, okay?]
[....]
After receiving the tacit reply, he continued to say [At that time, I was indeed like this, I myself admitted that I was autistic, cowardly, lonely, selfish, escapist... But I think I'm very strong, self-appreciative, a person's self-amusement, a person's world.... At the beginning, I was very unhappy, whether it was your language, behavior, personality, etc., I was very unhappy, with a high-minded attitude, a self-righteous mentality, and I thought at the time: because you are very popular and excellent, this is also a matter of course. ]
[Yes, yes... It's the same...] Because I didn't expect to say this suddenly, I was a little surprised and more disappointed, with deep words and a slight sigh. Still, I'm going to say it.
[Well, although I'm not qualified to say that you are, just someone like me... But it's also because of this that I have more words, more reasons to act, and people who are obviously two extremes and not like each other at all have more conversations because of this, and for me, this is where it all began....]
In the face of my complaint, the other end of the phone chose to be silent, waiting, expecting, and took a deep breath:
[I am changing, in the midst of your self-righteous "reprimands" day after day, under the pressure of your approaching tyrant, doing one commission after another that has nothing to do with me, and then slowly beginning to reflect on my practices and my behavior, which seems a little strange to me who is selfish and selfish. At the same time, I am troubled, I feel palpitations in the face of your sleeping face in the sunset, I feel the shock of you after changing into a dress, I feel sincerely happy in the face of the smile you show when you turn around by chance, just standing or sitting, it will make me feel the acceleration of my heart, which makes me feel very annoyed, and I have been asking myself for a while: where is my strength, where is my loneliness? I can't find the answer, so I feel annoyed. But I'm very happy, because of the existence of this department, I have another place to pass the time, one more place to talk, one more space to show my existence, there, I have laughed, I have cried, we have had differences, but we have also come together, and the feelings that I have never had have also germinated and grown in that place, the time we spent together, the black tea we drank together, the commissions we completed together... Because these are all accompanied by people, I know how to cherish and understand each other, so I am sincerely happy, thank you. ]
I grabbed the microphone and mustered up all my courage
[When these reasons are all fused into one person, from a certain moment, an indelible figure suddenly appears in my heart... It's just a product of an excess of self-consciousness that I once thought and was sure of....... And ah, Yukino... I still haven't been able to understand what the flower language of cherry blossoms represents, I don't know what the "real thing" I am pursuing, and I haven't figured out whether my belief can be realized, these are all in the position of the state of being given a clear answer by you, very irresponsible answer, obviously just an irrefutable and somewhat unacceptable answer....] Speaking of which, I can't help but feel nostalgic for the past, and I don't know when I feel like crying.... I didn't speak under the snow, just listened quietly, and I couldn't control my emotions, but I continued to speak with a firm voice in my voice
[But it makes me feel at ease that I have never felt before, and I have a feeling that as long as this answer is not denied, it must be the most correct answer.... Who gave me the faith? Faith is small but undeniable...... Whew, Yukino.....
[Eh, I.] Listening.... Listening..] Sounds under the snow... It's gentle, it's... Good.
[To be honest, I don't know when I started liking you...] I leaned back in my chair, squeaking from the exertion, and clasped my hands behind my head [can you tell me?]
[.... This kind of thing... I don't know, I don't know, I can't answer what I don't know, even if I ask. After a moment of silence, there was a mischievous reply from under the snow on the phone, was that a reason to continue?
[yes, then... I've been liking it for a long time, can you have a relationship with me?] I was calm when I said this, just like saying "good morning" to Komachi every day, probably because we both had a common answer in our hearts, so I was relieved and full of anticipation.
[Hah...] Listening to the sound of sighing under the snow, I can imagine the picture of her rubbing her forehead and shaking her head a little sadly [So far, what are you still talking nonsense...]
Listening to this answer, I was not surprised, and quietly continued to wait, the second half of the sentence
[... Okay, yes, I agreed, um... However, I have one more thing to say.]
Hey, when I heard this reply, I finally let go of something in my heart, as for what I wanted to say... It's probably "apologize to the teacher or apologize in front of the whole school."
Yukishita said in a very shy tone [Hachiman... You should have returned the pantyhose you took from me, right?]
[Eh, wait!, what do you say, when, I....]
However... Before he finished speaking, he hung up the phone under the snow.... Finished.... This time, I'm really done.... A visceral sense of despair came so violently....