Codex: "Perhaps, this is just an unfulfilled wish in the heart of a young girl." Pen | fun | pavilion www. ｂｉｑｕｇｅ。 ｉｎｆｏ”

Once, I would pray so that that the moment would last even a second.

In the past, I would work hard to keep the laughter and words in my ears.

Once, I would smile so that this little happiness would overflow my chest a little.

But why is it that even the simplest things are drifting away now?

I woke up in my dreams countless times, because I saw the disappearing back, the disappearing laughter and words. It made me feel lonely like never before, and what I hoped for, what I wanted most, disappeared, taking everything I had.

So, I'm scared.

Afraid of the crowd, because I don't know when, as long as I see a place where there are people, I can't help but look for the disappearing figure, but I find nothing, because there is none, so I am afraid.

The time of fear was so long, and after the cold facts fermented, gradually, I began to fear the place where there were people.

When I keep looking, looking forward to and longing for miracles, I get a reality that is indeed more cruel than the truth, in the real crowd, I can no longer see the figure that brings me happiness and smiles, maybe, if I can't see it once or twice, I just feel disappointed or lost, but... If you haven't been able to see it in your fourteen years of searching, you've already been able to cross despair and go to the cold world, right?

So, I was taken away from my feelings because of the coldness.

This does not mean that I have no feelings, whenever I am quiet, or in the silence of the night, maybe when I look at the fragments of memories of the past, that indescribable sense of sadness and despair has rushed back to my heart, I know what I have lost, and I know why, but I still yearn in the deepest part of my heart that one day a miracle will happen.

"Time, I'm willing to give up all that I've had in the past fourteen years, so please go back to that moment and let me fulfill my most important promise. ”

However, this desire is only a combination of fantasy and remorse.

So, slowly, I got used to being alone.

Because when your wish can't be realized, you can probably get a little comfort in your imagination. I imagined his back, the scene of me prostrate on it and whispering together. I fantasized that his laughter was the result of my encouragement and affirmation. I fantasized that his happiness was the result of our little agreement. It was then, it is now, and I will do everything I can to ensure that it will be in the future... It will be like this for a lifetime.

However, whenever I wake up from a dream, I am accompanied by a boundless expectation and longing. This

For a long time after that, I prayed incessantly to the so-called "God."

Repentance and hope for forgiveness will at least give me a chance to return to him. For this, I have the consciousness to give everything, even if it is from scratch, I am willing.

In the midst of repentance and cold tears, perhaps "God" inadvertently heard my cry and found a reason to continue to live before I fell into eternal sleep.

He... It's coming, it's finally here.

With abandoned eyes and forgotten bodies, he stood stupidly in front of me.

No memory, no smile, not even words.

But these don't matter, the moment I see him, no matter how much time changes his appearance, as long as it is him, it is the most beautiful for me, and this will never change, and it cannot be changed.

Suppressing the impulse that erupted from the dead heart, the trembling of his limbs, he kept his makeup, just to preserve his most perfect side for him at this moment.

So, I disguised myself with an indifferent attitude and encouraged myself with cold language.

But what is the effect?

I myself couldn't believe how far I could go, and I was so distrustful of my own abilities in front of him, and in front of him, these things were short-lived after all.

So, the tears that I couldn't hold back, containing all the tears, the tears for the first time in fourteen years, were finally released.

Even if he forgot everything, at least, he was still there.

Then, in a very short period of time, the heart that should have been satisfied gradually sprouted "greed".

I hope to go back to the way he used to be, I hope he remembers our agreement, I hope he will gently call me "sister" with a smile on his face, and then fall into my arms and cry about all the things that have happened over the years. I hope that from now on, he will be the brother who can only stay by my side all the time.

But these are just my fantasies, ignorant fantasies.

-- There is no place for me by his side.

That's the easiest answer I've ever got.

He has something that he owns alone, which is no longer what we all own, and it becomes impossible to even find an excuse to want to join it, because... He and she had become so invulnerable.

It makes me envious and breaks my heart. Perhaps, so... It's a good ending, for him.

.....

No, I don't admit it!

Since God has given me this opportunity to see Him again, this is definitely not the way I end!

His side... There must still be some hidden spot that I can't see, and that's what I want!

If I just give up, it would be better for me to disappear from this world.

Back to square one... Maybe I can get more!

So, I'll do everything I can to stay with him.

So, I'll do everything I can to get his memories back.

So, I will do everything to create new memories with bibimbap.

Because, I don't want to lose again.

Probably, the people around him will think the same way, but that's not a reason for me to back down.

At least, I won't give up until I still have breath.

At this point, I am confident because... He is still very gentle, so gentle that people are afraid.

But I know that the person who is afraid will not be me, and it will not be me, because the person who knows him best is still me.

Maybe it will succeed, but the probability of failure will be higher, how is that? Even if it fails, it becomes a demon... No, even if I become a devil, I will persevere, until my consciousness fades!

"I am willing to give up everything in order to get him, I am willing to betray my faith and I am willing to sign a pact with the devil"

God, gave me hope, and the devil ... It's about turning hope into reality!