Chapter 20 Slowly, the distance is constantly changing in the calm daily life (4)

I know it's not the right thing to do. Pen | fun | pavilion www. ｂｉｑｕｇｅ。 ｉｎｆｏ

But I can't just watch his figure fade away, those who praise the distance, tell me that distance produces beauty, what I need is not distance, but to be able to gently pull the corner of his clothes when I reach out, and when I lean forward, I can just be taken into his arms, the distance I need, that's all.

Perhaps, in my world, there is a figure that can no longer be erased, the figure, the time has not faded, the distance cannot be reduced, like a time fixed in a certain moment, even with my soul, also fixed there, unable to leave, will not want to leave, and even at some point, I want to blend into that blurred figure.

Day after day, I repeat yesterday's daily routine without the slightest change.

Obviously very close, you can inadvertently touch him through subtle movements, but it is like a dividing line that has been added to the barrier in parallel space, and even a little distance cannot be crossed. I don't belong to the same world as them, his smile doesn't belong to me, he doesn't move for me, and there is nothing else that belongs to me except the gentle ribbon that is unintentionally emanating in front of me occasionally.

No, even the invisible ribbon of tenderness that connects me to him does not belong to me, he will be gentle with anyone, even me, who is not from the same world as them, the same feeling as before... Even the coming of the end will not change the gentleness.

That's the only thing I have to be happy about.

Of course, and my only... The place that is available.

Whenever I see them talking and laughing happily with them, I feel a heavy sense of guilt in my heart, not for them, but for myself... I wanted to take her place, and that started to germinate when I knew about their relationship, and then took root in the depths of my soul, and now... I guess it's become an indispensable belief in my life.

So, I was driven by this evil thought to take action, even though I knew very well what would happen if I failed... I didn't hesitate either, because... I will not fail, and I will not allow failure,

Perhaps, it will take a long time after my success to be able to tell him my meanness.

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[Okay, next, you know what to do.]

Yeyue's father, half reminded and half menacing, patted me on the shoulder and said this, then looked behind me from my side, showed a gentle smile at Yeyue, and walked into the elevator.

Yeyue and I stood here watching him until the elevator door closed.

Ahhh This troublesome uncle is finally gone... I sighed helplessly, just now I have confirmed that the apartment of the night moon, the living facilities and the layout are all arranged according to the original place, and then submitted the resignation, a little hurried, probably there are still some important things waiting for him to deal with in the school.. It's busy, Headmaster.

When I turned around, I found that Yeyue was looking ahead in a trance, probably thinking about something, her gaze was slanted downward, and she looked a little serious.

[How... Anything else?]

[No.. No. ]

Yeyue shook her head slightly, withdrew her gaze, looked at me carefully, and said

[It's okay for me to be alone...]

[If only that were the case.]

Are you still terminally ill to say that these meaningless explanations are still in the thick of things?

[Why do you have to do it to this extent?, whether it's repentance or longing for forgiveness, these are not necessary, as long as you don't think about the things in the past, everyone can live a relaxed life.] But why?]

I looked at Yeyue seriously, and this was the first time I had seriously asked about her.

Yeyue also looked at me without flinching, and her eyes, which had always seemed weak, gradually became clear, like a pool of spring water, and they looked at each other like this for a while, she pursed her lips, and then dried it slightly, as if she was hesitating about something, and after a few seconds, her eyes suddenly became sharp, after all, she said

[If.] I said I like you, do you believe this reason?]

[... Huh?]

I frowned, looked at her blankly, and then shook my head again

[No.. It's just once...]

[It was, it is... Like is like, and it has never changed. ]

Yeyue slowly walked up to me, and a pleasant smile began to appear on her cold face, and she gently stretched out her palm at this time, and then gently supported my face, and gently stroked it, the same as when she stroked a baby.

The cold and delicate skin kept rubbing against my cheeks, and the fragrance continued to penetrate into my nostrils, like an anesthetic, making me completely unable to move, and I could only stare at her movements with wide eyes

[You... I knew from the last academy festival that you haven't changed at all... Oh, subconsciously protect everything around you and abandon what you have... You used to be like that. ]

[No... No, it's not the same... I..]

Being so oppressed by the night moon, even if he wanted to resist, he became powerless.After a few intermittent words came out of his mouth, he was covered by the night moon with his palm, and he couldn't make any sound anymore.

She shook her head, and then continued to look at me, tears sliding down her soft face with tears in her big goshawk-like eyes, and then continuing with a poignant smile

[Yes, it's not the same.] Because it was just for me then, and now, you're doing it for them... So, it's not the same at all.]

[No!no!]

I took a few steps back sharply, pleased her oppression, shook my head vigorously and tried to suppress those memories from the past in my heart, took a few deep breaths, and looked at the night moon in front of me

[Past.... Only the undead are left, and the present is what I need, I don't want to continue to be bound by the past, and you are the same, there is no need to dwell on a joke, you are you, I am me. ]

[But... Your so-called jokes are all I have.]

Yeyue made a hoarse voice, as if she had aged for decades at this moment, although she still looked directly into my eyes, the speed of tears sliding down became faster and faster, there was no longer a smile on her face, but it turned into a distressing twist, and her shoulders began to slowly tremble.

[I... For this joke, I have insisted on it for more than ten years, and I have always believed that. Everything will come back because we have no lies.. There are no lies, are they?]

[....]

Just looking at Yeyue, his hands clenched into fists began to tremble at some point, and he suddenly had the idea of escaping from here, but his legs were like being chained in place, unable to move.

I hate lies... It can also tolerate a certain degree of lies, and at some times it needs some white lies.

[That... It's not the same. ]

I shook my head numbly, longing to deny all the same

[Because I'm young, I don't understand too many things.] And... You... It's the same. ]

For now, I can probably only find such a lie that can be classified as white intentions.

Unexpectedly, after hearing my words, Yeyue suddenly stopped trembling, and once again showed that poignant smile, looked at me gently, and whispered

[....]

[....]

After a moment of silence, Yeyue wiped the tears from her eyes with her hand, slowly walked past me, and said softly as she staggered with her

[Already... Late]