Spring has gradually arrived without realizing it (10)

Every day since I was in high school has been spent in a busy way.

There is very little time that can really be free.. In addition to studying, more time is spent on interpersonal relationships and various extracurricular activities, so, for a moment... I really envy those people who can spend every day alone in the corner and obscurity... Perhaps, in the eyes of others, a life like mine is definitely a model of success, and even many people envy such a study life, but among these people who see the surface, who knows the hardships of this?

I don't know when I developed the habit of being extremely independent.

Of course, this does not mean that this habit is bad, on the contrary, it is a very reassuring good habit, able to deal with all kinds of things independently, with their own ability, to get rid of the dependence and help of others, from these aspects, I have the basic conditions to survive in society alone.

Hm... If only it were really just "independent" ...

Lying on the bed, I unconsciously exhaled lightly at the dark ceiling, and a shackle made of helplessness was spreading to the whole body, obviously wanting to relax, but when the surroundings were quiet, my spirit was unusually tense.. I know that this is probably the helpless shackles created by that abnormal 'independence' that are planning my actions for the next day... Sometimes, I feel like a robot with a timer installed.

Doing the same thing every day... Willing or not, hated or liked, necessary or unnecessary... There will always be those things, but when they are faced, there will always be many more things that have to be dealt with from them, and... It was all as if it had been planned last night, no matter what it was facing... It won't be a surprise.

So, feel tired.Why?

Because of independence, because of being trusted by others, because of being expected by those around you.

Regarded as a "jack-of-all-trades" by classmates or teachers... Whenever I hear the phrase "If it's you, it's all right", I feel like a mermaid lyric... Whether I wanted to or not, I was pulled into it, hypnotized my nerves, and when I came back to my senses, I had unconsciously become a role model for my teachers and classmates.

Because of this, this sentence appeared in my ears more and more often, and I became more and more powerless to resist... No, it should be that from the beginning I didn't know how to resist.. Those expectant eyes, those longing words, as if turned into spikes, pierced straight into the heart that was hidden from the body, even if it was bleeding, it would not be discovered.

Even if it hurts, it will greet people with a smile, because... I can be independent.

But is this really just independence?

No! Absolutely not!

The reason for all this... It's just that I can't trust anyone! yes, I can't trust anyone but my family!

Because we can't trust, we do everything, whether it's necessary or unnecessary, whether it's difficult or simple, it's a person, in a way that you trust, one by one. No one else's advice, any help, is needed.

So, I just do the best I can and and... Don't believe that other people can do better than yourself.

That's it.. In the rolling of time, I gradually became a person who "can do anything". Although I never think so, the people around me think so, and when this idea becomes a sight and language, it creates an irresistible force, condensing their trust, expectation, and desire.

Sometimes, I really want to say "I can't do it". I can break free from the shackles by putting aside all the difficult things and sharing them with the people around me, and doing them together with their help, but I can't really say it.

Can a person who is trusted by others and only trusts himself really say this?

If it is said that: One day, if there is someone I really trust, probably, at that time, I will really be able to break free from it. One.. Someone who can entrust everything to him or her...

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The next morning, the wind blowing from the west was still cold, not as cold as the previous days, but it was enough to deter people who had just crawled out of the warm bed. However, the rising sun slowly emerging from the horizon gave Yesong some momentum to move forward.

Today, the two of them went out earlier than before, and they didn't take the car arranged by their father, but chose to walk.Of course, this is Xue Ying's proposal.After all, if you play at night, from her physical point of view, she still hopes to take a car... But this morning she was a little more resolute.

When walking through the park, the surroundings were very deserted, and the people who exercised in the morning may be very scarce because of the temperature, and at this time, no one could be seen in the path near the edge of the road that the two walked on.

[Brother..]

[Huh?Snow Sakura, is it cold?]

Nightsong looked at Yukizakura with some concern, and she shook her head slightly, then hid half of her face in a towering scarf, revealing the part above her eyes

[This year's cherry blossoms are about to bloom, aren't they?]

[That's it.] Hawkers,Indeed,Here's a little more than a month.]

Although it was a little strange why Yuki Sakura suddenly said this, she still answered her question properly and looked at her with an inquiring look

[What's wrong?]

[Last night.] I made an appointment with the Black Palace seniors and Yu Lijia seniors, this year.. Let's go to enjoy the flowers. ]

[....]

I didn't know what to say for a while, but after seeing my sister's faint smiling face and a little expectant look hidden under the scarf, I suddenly knew what to say again

[When the time comes.] Just don't leave me behind. ]

[Hmm.] Together.]

[Sakura.] ]

[Huh?]

Called by her name, Yuki Sakura raised her face, and waited until the night play's palm slowly put it on her head and rubbed it gently

[When the time comes, don't catch a cold.] ]

[... By that time it was already spring.]

He didn't seem to resist this kind of intimacy very much.,It's just a little dissatisfied with the words of the night song.,As she spoke, she pursed her mouth slightly.。

[Colds don't know the season.]

[Got it..]

Full of unconvinced voices

Night Song smiled and withdrew her hand, while also looking at the horizon. At this moment, like a flash of light, Nocturnal's mind suddenly realized something, and slowly smiled towards the distant sky

[But.] Also, spring is definitely warmer than winter. ]

Xue Sakura also looked over, but felt that the sunlight was a little dazzling, so she withdrew her gaze, and after a breeze blew, she moved closer to the night music.

However, this will also be short-lived, and in a little more than a month, spring... The world of warmth and red will come to this place shrouded in cold.

So, pick up your feet and do your best to move forward.