Suddenly a dawn pierced through the dark and silent memory world, a past involuntarily appeared in front of me, I still remember that it was the second year of high school, at that time I was the late king of the class, every time I dragged on for an hour or two before I went out from home, I always held unrealistic hopes, hoping to appear in front of everyone on time with the bell ringing, but unfortunately every time the bell rang I hung my head in the teacher's criticism and sigh, in the infinite sympathetic eyes of the classmates in the gray head into the classroom, if other students saw me on the road, they would exclaim loudly, hurry up and run, I met Li Ziyue, and I'm going to be late today.

At that time, I still remember my appearance in a trance, a short hair that can not be shorter than that of male classmates, unkempt clothes, most of the time is the school uniform that meets in the south and white, and deliberately open, unscrupulously draped, in order to show my bohemian, freewheeling, distinctive style, revealing a variety of clothes of different lengths and shorts, I really seriously doubt that I am a woman, that day, I was as hot as ever, all the way to the classroom panting, it is estimated that the running posture of the teeth and claws is also so miserable, I can't bear to look at it directlyFortunately, it is usually difficult to meet my classmates, because they are all earlier than me, and they must be walking on the road leisurely.

And this day the sky is gloomy, because at home grinding, actually forgot to bring an umbrella, unfortunately, the gray sky after all still can't help it, the dripping rain unscrupulously fell from the world, one after another sprinkled between the heaven and the earth, everyone involuntarily held up the already prepared colorful umbrella, only I was pitiful with heavy rain, in the rain continued to run, suddenly, in a trance, I heard someone seem to be calling my name, I hesitated a little, slowed down a lot, pricked up my ears, the voice sounded in my ears again, I confirmed the doubt, looked back, is a lovely and full of youth and enthusiasm of the smiling face, I was at a loss, who is he, and then finally recalled that he was a boy in other classes of our age, but unfortunately what is his name, I racked my mind, searched my stomach or could not recall his name, I had to say hello in a daze, he said why not join the umbrella, the rain is very heavy.

I couldn't bear to say no, so I readily agreed. But after agreeing, I regretted it a little, because after entering, I felt that the whole world suddenly became smaller, into a closed small world, under the small umbrella is him and me, the whole world is so small that only he and me, unspeakably ambiguous and awkward, reluctantly said a few words, and I don't know what to say, because I am also very shy, he is also a little shy, the key is not too familiar, I don't know what to say, and the most important thing is to keep a good distance between us, it is really not easy to do, sometimes get too close, accidentally almost leaned on him, fortunately I was quick to the side, immediately slipped to the sideSometimes I was too far away, and the rain wet my sleeves, and he was kind enough to move a little closer to me.

Just reluctantly walked for a short while, and suddenly met a classmate, after she greeted me, she smiled at me meaningfully, and glanced at the classmates next to me meaningfully, only to be unwilling to hurry away, so that I cranky to think about it, she won't think about it, I won't think I'm playing friends, there are a few pairs of friends in our class, but people are all blind in the dark light during the evening self-study, and they can't see the five fingers of the night hand in hand, and I'm now under the bright and bright male classmates who are not familiar to them look like I look like I, it's really easy to misunderstand, The point is that I have been alone, and I was so ashamed that I even accidentally touched a male classmate, and now I finally didn't delay my life of wisdom and innocence?

No, I can't stay under the same umbrella with him like this anymore, but I can't say it so abruptly, I can't live up to this male classmate's dedication to helping others, I have to find a reason, I thought for a long time, and finally found a reason, I said in a hurry: "Classmate, I'm about to be late, I have to go faster." So I quickly ran away from his umbrella with relief, but I didn't expect that he didn't know what I meant, and he also chased after me in three steps and two steps, and the warm little umbrella was on my head as always, and said to me with a smile: "Yes, you were so right just now, I have to hurry up, so let's go faster," But staying in that small umbrella is really awkward, a plan can't be made, I have another excuse, you see, the rain outside is also a lot smaller, you can not use the umbrella, in fact, the rain outside is not much smaller, I hurry up to run out, he resolutely put the umbrella in my Qianqianyu hand, yes, our boy is really nothing to rain a little bit, and then he calmly drenched in the rain outside the umbrella, my heart is really unhappy, I think this is his umbrella, for me, people who originally had an umbrella are in the rain at this moment, it's too bad, and then the more I want to go, the more I want to go, quickly catch up with him, return the umbrella to him, I walked briskly in front for a while, He hurried to catch up with me, gave me the umbrella involuntarily, and said that you see your clothes are wet, or you fight, you are a girl, I am a boy, it doesn't matter if it rains a little, saying that he likes to be in the rain, and it feels good to walk in the rain.

We chased me like this, it lasted several times, it was like a long-distance running relay race, and then I racked my heart to come up with all kinds of far-fetched reasons, I finally still felt that it was too strange for you to chase me like this, and what would other people think, and finally I made up my mind, and after thanking me for a thousand thanks, I took out a fast 100-meter sprint speed and rushed forward, fortunately, I deserved to be a sprint champion, after running for a minute, I looked back, I saw no trace of him, only a lot of colorful umbrellas, I thought thank God, I finally got rid of him, returned to the classroom, and did not want to listen to the class, self-care couldn't help but laugh for a long time, I feel that what just happened is really incredible, unexpected, ridiculous, but now in retrospect, it is more warm, moving, melancholy, melancholy, so innocent and beautiful, so green and romantic old times, just gone forever, never go back to the past, the untouchable umbrella, the heavy rain that has been blowing, the vague and kind face, now in retrospect, so close and so far, it is really some people once missed, empty sigh, never to see each other again, some people, once lost, empty memory, forever so regretful。

What I regret now, what I am entangled in is not what I did wrong or what I did right in the past, but what I didn't do at all, and the past was blank.

I really feel very lucky, every scene of Haruki Murakami's words has been encountered, and it was given by different people, who gave me a warm umbrella in my life to resist the ups and downs of life.

So don't be afraid to love, don't be afraid of not reciprocating, don't be afraid of hurting, only if you treat the world gently, you will be treated gently, and only if you give full of love, you can reap love.