Fate = fate + division

This rare 'family relationship' has finally come to an end, which once again confirms that 'fate is composed of fate and separation, and there is 'fate' and 'points'. This is the law of the existence and formation of all feelings, that is, when the 'edge' comes, the 'division' follows like a shadow. In this world, only blood and family ties cannot be separated.

We are separated because we have finished speaking each other in this world, and when we are done, our fate is over.

It's rare to think back to my relationship with Sky, but I always knew that it would definitely end, and it wouldn't last long. Because, this is a fate.

However, when it comes to rarity, it's just for me, and the sky doesn't know anything. Therefore, the sky's attitude has been normal for the past four years. The fact that I care for him so wholeheartedly must have made him uneasy, and it was completely an imposition on him for him. It's like one day, if someone suddenly says something similar to me and does something similar, then my reaction must be to refuse. From this point of view, I would also like to thank the sky for his helplessness when he accepted my love in the process.

For me, this relationship is also imposed on me. It was God's arrangement, God's gift to me. Therefore, I volunteered to love this loved one of mine with all my might for four years, and in the process I was very aware of his psychological state and his tolerance limit. But I had no choice but to love him with all my heart. Because, being able to meet again is a strange fate. In the next life, if we can't see each other, wouldn't it be a regret for all generations!

Therefore, for four years I have been worrying about the sky more than my son, and it is all of my own volition. I remind myself every moment that this relationship will not last long, and I must leave no regrets.

In the past four years, although no one can say what I have lived and what I have lived and what I have seen, I cannot deny what I have seen and felt. Well, from the day the feelings arise, there is not a day when I don't want this 'loved one'. From the first six months, my heart aches whenever I think about it. At that time, I couldn't sleep at the thought of him for countless nights, and the physical pain was accompanied by a great self-reproach in my heart, which made my soul unable to rest. This period lasted for a year, and in this year, except for the chance encounter at the beginning of the year after half a year of adventure, I restrained myself from seeing him at other times.

This year, my heart was tormented, and that's why I didn't get close to him. Always sober, I understand this feeling, he doesn't know. Therefore, it is impossible to socialize, and he will not understand and accept it, otherwise it will bring him troubles and confusion. I'd rather look at him from afar, and no amount of torture will cause him trouble.

A year later, we sat across from each other. I didn't rejoice in my heart, I knew that one day we would be separated, and then maybe I would be more painful. However, I cherish the time I spend together, so I keep telling him and talking about it. I have always agreed with Zhou Yan's words: 'Fate is to continue the unfinished words of the previous life, and when the words are finished, fate is over.' I'm going to finish this life as soon as I can.

Because, the sky is my loved one, the closest person in my life. In the last life, we must be the closest people, and we will be separated before the end of the fate, and we will meet again in this life. It must have been in the last life that he was kind to me, and I didn't repay him, that God will tell me in this life that he is your dearest person, your 'son'. God knows that only mother's love is the greatest love in the world, and mother-child is the most important emotion, and mother's love can never be let go. Only by letting him appear as a son can I accept this person who has no connection with me.

In this way, I will love him well and fulfill the wish of my previous life.

However, the time has come to this day, and I think about God's plan. In fact, it is to let me love him unilaterally. Because the moment I saw him at that time, my heart ached greatly, and at the same time, I also made a move that I would never do on weekdays, and blurted out with my hands together: Sin, sin!

Immediately afterwards, his head became my son's, but my son's gaze looked to the side indifferently, and he walked past me with a blank face. At that moment, although the shock turned into my son, why didn't my son know me? A huge sadness and shock enveloped me, but I didn't tell Zhou Yan this. I also wondered why I didn't go up and hug him or scream when I found out it was my son, but just sat back and endured it.

Well, if you think about it today, you will understand it all. God's arrangement is for me to recognize him, to love him well, and to accomplish what I didn't do in my previous life. And he, God told me, he didn't know you. Therefore, in the past four years, I have indeed done it, never caring about his attitude, I just want to love him well.

Perhaps it was his actions as a practitioner that helped me heal my arm, which was very ill at the time, and I was very touched. Maybe it was his behavior as a cultivator, and he did his best to help me let go of things that seemed to him to be difficult for me to let go of at that time. Actually, today I can tell him that I have let go when I see him. I just followed his train of thought and had a common topic for us to talk to. Through this, I found out his actual situation, and then wanted to help him. I understood everything he was saying, but I pretended not to understand it so that he would have a reason to speak. Maybe it was his practice as a practitioner, and the sky helped me find my 'true heart', and he succeeded in giving me enlightenment at that point.

I'm very grateful to him for all this. Come to think of it, he has done more for me than I have done for him in this life.

However, God may not have imagined that we must not be true mothers and sons. So, it was initially the sky that misunderstood me. He said, 'It's a matter of the soul between us, not like others think of wearing a pair of pants.' I was scared when I heard it, worried that he was thinking something out of the ordinary. Think about it again and tell him the secret I had planned not to tell anyone in this life, which was what I saw when I met the sky. Because, I don't want to impose anything on him.

When he heard this, his expression was stunned, and then he said, 'It may be the last life, and I vow to repay the two families in this life.' I'm thankful he was able to say that, but I don't want him to reciprocate.

Later, his father also misunderstood my relationship with him, so I told his father. So far, only three people know about it.

Soon after, he said even more outrageous things to Xunmeng, which made me very helpless. I don't understand why he said such a thing after knowing why I cared about him. Then, he couldn't convince himself, and said some strange things. What I can accept in this process is that God has arranged it to tell us (or to verify that two people with such pure souls) that there is any other opposite-sex affection in the world than blood?

Because, for a while, my heart also changed under his hints. From the moment I was furious when I heard Miki's words, to one day I followed his train of thought, it was noon, when I went to bed and took a nap, I suddenly had this thought, I saw with my own eyes and experienced that my deceased fourth uncle and other family members incited me to slap me: This is your relative, how can you have this idea!

However, the strange thing is that whenever I see him, my heart is pure and there is no thought that he is not a mother and son, and I think he is probably the same.

Because of this, I happily accept his capriciousness. Because, I have a strong feeling in my heart that when he is normal, he loves me very much, just as I love him: it is the love of family, and each other's hearts are like the moon.

However, his unusual personality makes it impossible for us to go on normally. So, this year, the sky has gone down, and I am back to my parents. I made a final effort to ask him to study abroad, but he refused.

At this point, I think my mission is completely accomplished, and there is no need to continue to associate with him. At this point, I began to pay attention to his attitude. He is now an ordinary person, and he must be treated as an ordinary person, but he can find that the sky is still the way of life in the past. Or rather, the way it did to me. I'm going to have to let go. Because, I can't do anything for him.

Just then, he suddenly said something strange. Whatever his purpose, I thank you, but I can't be impressed. And the facts have once again proved his unusual character. From this, I told myself that I had to let him go. Otherwise, he always wants to repay me. Then think about what he said when he learned about the relationship between Zhou Yan and that lady: He must have done that to repay the woman.

Then I must not allow him to force himself to do anything for me because he wants to repay me. It would be too pathetic if that were the case: he and I would be too pathetic.

A few days later, on August 25, I had a dream. My son is in my arms, a little child, and he is going to die. He said, 'Mom wants to live happily.' I said sadly, 'Go to the light, don't look back'. Then my body and mind felt his last strong heartbeat. His dad and I were very sad. I woke up in a great discomfort. Texted Sky and my son as soon as possible......

A few days later, after Tian Gao had seen the sky, he told the sky about the situation, and after my argument, I came to the conclusion that he had once again placed himself in a corner, and the wind could not blow.

My heart tells me that the 'dead son' in that dream is the sky. Our fate is gone. From then on, when I think of the sky, there is no longer a sense of the past. I didn't feel anything. It's as if the sky has never been in my life. It's good, it's a good feeling. From then on, we were all liberated.

I also thank God for giving me four years of happiness. More thanks to God for letting this all end in such a complete way: come the way my son and leave the way my son!

Sky, I have said many, many words to him in this life, most of which have been recorded in writing, and will remain in my book. Then, I have finished speaking to him in this life.

And you, I just remember one thing you said to me: how you have done to me, I may not be able to do what I have done to you, but I pray as much as I can for you to get the happiness that you deserve in this life.

September 29, 2014