Extra-6: Her persistence - the thing that will never give up (II)

In short, I don't know what kind of pain can be called the most painful feeling in the whole world. Is the www.biquge.info of the pen "Fun" due to physical pain? The torment of illness, the physical pain caused by injury? The mental pain? The loss of a loved one, the best friend, the inner expectation and longing have not been answered? Those who have not experienced this kind of suffering are undoubtedly very lucky, but it is not to be said that those who have experienced one or more of them are unfortunate - because at least. These people are still alive. People who are able to survive physical or mental pain tenaciously are strong.

A person who can endure pain, or who is struggling to survive even if he can't bear it, can indeed be called strong.

In the face of these countless sufferings, some people choose suicide, some choose to sink, some choose to escape from reality, choose to forget, and so on. Even if I survived the misery by chance, what was left... It's just a shell, a soulless shell, living in this world like a walking corpse, and everything becomes meaningless... Numbly counting the remaining days.

Perhaps, this is exactly what the most painful thing in the world is - the feeling of pain has been forgotten, and this is the greatest pain.

This is a feeling that can only be experienced by those who have experienced countless sufferings and are still struggling to survive in the end, and those who have been unable to understand what pain, happiness, sorrow, and joy are are the real hell in this world.

Those feelings that will never be experienced by others are the real hell of the nose.

No one will know what kind of fear a person who has been deprived of the right to dream after falling asleep peacefully at night will suddenly wake up and face the darkness of space. Even "dreams" have been reduced to luxury.

No one knows that when you wake up every morning, you will be faced with a completely unfamiliar environment, even if you are faced with the exact same situation as yesterday, but you have no memory at all.

Wait a minute.. Surely no one else will understand these things. Even the most detailed verbal descriptions, the most detailed written descriptions, cannot feel the horror of these things from them, and only those who have experienced them will remember this most painful feeling in the world, but only remember. In other words, anything else... None of them can remain in memory.

And I.. Exactly such a person.

A lucky man who forgets the pain.

Why should I live?—for a long time, this question has been the main thing on my mind, whether it is day or night, whether it is resting or going to school, I am thinking about and searching for the reason why I am still alive in this world. Finally, when the eye is fixed on an old yellowed photograph, this thinking seems to get a ridiculous pause. The memories of the people in the photo are my only attachment to this world. While I was already in despair, I could not completely lose faith in such a reality. Therefore, I rely on this time that no longer exists in the world, a time that has passed, and I forcibly leave myself here.

While staying here, I also felt the most painful thing, in the gap of time, my body, my spirit, and soul gradually became numb, except for the memory that made me smile, the rest were like disappearing things frozen at the bottom of the lake. A world without color and emotion was born and has always existed with me.

Living here, it is inevitable that you will not be alone, even if you completely enclose yourself in a narrow and dark world, you will more or less receive all kinds of information from the strange world, which makes me afraid but unable to refuse. When I see a new face, I will always unconsciously compare the mask in my memory, hoping to completely coincide in the next second but fail again and again, and when I hear a new voice, I will compare it with the tone in my memory for the first time, and I still find nothing. While I long to see more people, hear more voices, and receive more information, I am also resisting these things, and this irreconcilable contradiction born in pain has become the only thing that can adjust my life.

So, more than 10 years later, all of a sudden, one day, I had a strange idea -- could he be as lucky as I was? somewhere I didn't know. Repeating the same day with me?

Using this as an excuse, I began to search like a demon, perhaps. I was lucky enough, or maybe it was a small gift from Heaven to my numb shell - to find it and to lose it. I was ecstatic, but for the first time, I felt the unfairness of fate.

That's right, I, who have never blamed or believed in fate, developed an indelible hatred for it, and out of that hatred gave birth to demons.

-- There is another person next to him, and there is another woman in the position that should have belonged to me and can only be mine. The messages written on the cold paper burned into my chest like cursed characters.

If my frozen expression could pretend to be indifferent on the surface, I would not hesitate to turn back, then go back to a corner of my room and cry, and then turn around and run to him with a smiling face, a look of joy and joy, and plunge headlong into his arms. But I couldn't, and after knowing this fact that made me remember the pain again, the disguise and the shell, all of them were completely shattered in that moment, and they were completely ... For the first time in more than a decade, crying in this strange world.

After that, I tried to avoid, to stay away, to isolate all the news related to him, because I was not sure that after seeing him... Can I still keep my calm and not let the demon in my heart occupy the body that has long lost my soul, I hate fate, but I can't bear to let him be hurt... Especially the damage I inflicted on him with my own hands. So, until I have the ability to harness this demon, I must not meet him.

But—

Without warning, he came.

Just as he had suddenly disappeared before, suddenly appeared in front of my eyes, when I saw the name on the test paper, when I saw the one who had unsuspectingly stepped into the campus where I was imprisoned.

Everything is different.

Yes, all of them.. It's like being given a new lease of life.

New souls are born out of the shells - usually demons, half undead. But even that was enough to bring me back from my numb shell.

At the same time as the resurrection, he gladly accepted an eternal curse as the price of the resurrection.

"Get all he has"

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Night Moon's eyes were more serious than ever, and she said in a tone that matched them

[Even if you can't take it alone, you must not lose it again.] That's the only reason I exist and live in this world.]

[...]

Looking at such a night moon, he opened his mouth under the snow, after all, he couldn't do anything, maybe he didn't know what to say.

[If.] Do I still refuse?]

[I will never give up until you say yes.]

[Hah...]

Sighing, he shook his head in distress under the snow, and at the same time gently put the thick notepad in his hand on the glass table. Then he closed his eyes and fell into deep thought.

A few minutes later-

Keeping his eyes slightly closed and his hands clenched, he spat out words with a thick disbelief under the snow

[... I have conditions. ]

[... Thank you. I accept all of your conditions... No matter what the conditions. ]

Yeyue said this easily and surely, and opened her eyes under the snow.

The two looked at each other for a moment, then turned their heads away.

It was a look of disbelief and gratitude, and it was also a look that belonged to each of them, but with the same answer.