Chapter 9: Hikiya returns to the classroom again, but he can't see the familiar things anymore (4)

[Are you an idiot?stupid?or do you no longer understand these meanings?]

I've made it clear enough, is it interesting to have to continue like this? It's not a play on words, everyone will understand it even if they don't make it clear at this time, right? There must be a limit to persistence and willfulness. Pen ~ fun ~ pavilion www.biquge.info

I don't know, and I don't want to.

[....]

Yeyue didn't continue to say anything to persevere, just bit her lip tightly, the original cherry red lip flap now looked a little pale, but this didn't seem to affect her decision, and proved her statement with her own actions.

She didn't say anything, lowered her head slightly, and slowly walked in front of me, her back to me.

Ha.... Why are they all like this...

After a little hesitation, I walked in the opposite direction, but I didn't take a few steps before the figure of the night moon came in front of me again, and although it kept a certain distance, it did indeed block my way.

[So, I ask you, what's the point of you doing this?]

[I don't know...]

With her back to me, Yeyue shook her head and whispered

[I just think that if you do this, at least you can have my presence in your eyes...]

[But don't you think you have more to gain than to lose that way?]

[No]

Yeyue slowly turned around, raised her head to look at me, her eyes were red, but there was a bleak smile on her face, her short hair was also a little messy under the breeze, and her eyes, which should have been as sharp as an eagle, became dull, and in an instant, there was a sense of miserable and beautiful art, but.... There's so much stuff in there

[I've been... Nothing can be lost. ]

This weightless sentence, the moment it came out of her mouth, was blown away by the breeze of the past, as if it had never been said.

It is precisely because of this sentence that my heart has become a little heavier, and I recall some things that should not be recalled... Damn, don't make trouble at this time...

I remained calm and replied softly

[These, now have nothing to do with me...] It doesn't make any sense at all. ]

With a light sigh, he ignored her changes and the movements she was about to speak, and continued to speak

[The past is history, and no one can change it, so there's no need to care about anything, don't try to change anything, remember if you want, forget if you don't need to, this... We all know that. The only thing that can change is now, and even if you put in any effort, what you can change is only now.]

Then there was a normal silence, and we all stood still.

After a while, Yeyue finally shook her head

[What I'm doing now.] It's just a matter of following the feeling you want, and it has nothing to do with the past and present, just just wanting to get.]

[Those things are gone, they're completely gone in the past.] Don't you understand?]

[So what I want is now.]

Night Moon looked at me closely, paused for a few seconds, and then continued

[What I wanted... It's you now, and the past, as you said, has passed and been forgotten by you, so no amount of explanation and repentance can change anything... So, just get rid of the old ones and I want to start all over again. ]

Exceptionally strong determination and perseverance, this is what the night moon now shows that I can't help but be afraid of.

I wanted to escape, but there was nowhere to escape, I obviously didn't want to be involved anymore, but the things I did didn't play a role, and in the end, it became the reason and motivation for her to do this...

Yes... Suddenly I feel like a clown, acting alone on my makeshift stage, performing a one-man show, using some vulgar words and acting skills to perform all kinds of meaningless performances, maybe someone will laugh, maybe I can get the satisfaction of nothingness, because in the clown's job, the main thing is to make people laugh... I'm the clown, the clown out of the circus... And what reason is there to continue? The one-man show will not be permanent.

[Is that what you think?]

[....]

Night Moon told me the answer in silence.

So, the answer from my side is...

[Well, you're doomed, even now...] It can't be either. ]

[Why?]

She was suddenly stunned, and asked randomly and hurriedly, completely losing the ability to think on her own.

[Because, I'm not a constant]

If, I hadn't met under the snow, I hadn't met Yubihama, I wouldn't have had anything to do with Yono, and of course I wouldn't have experienced so many things with them, and of course, I wouldn't have changed so much for these things, then, if I had met Yeyue in this situation when there was nothing, I would probably have chosen to listen to her explanation... Or even ask her for a reasonable explanation...

[I know, so, I'm going to change too]

Yeyue still said very resolutely

[There is only one you, no matter how you change, it will always be you, and you will not be anyone else, so there will be nothing wrong with my insistence.] ]

[Why don't you understand...]

After all, I shook my head helplessly, this is the kind of thing that I am not good at dealing with... Well, every time Komachi argues with me, I basically don't last more than a minute... I guess it's a joint relationship... It's too stubborn, isn't it nice that you don't know anyone?

Then, we just stood in the middle of the road, with the heads of students and pedestrians looking at each other curiously, perhaps... Probably someone knows the night moon... Chose to stop and watch, but it was pointing fingers at me... It's like this again...

[.....]

There's no way, I can't just let her go to the apartment under the snow...

[I see...] Well, please.. Just the night moon senior took me to the classroom, is it okay...]

Yeyue was suddenly stunned, and then with a look of surprise on her face, she hurriedly nodded and replied

[Uh-huh, uh-huh.] I'll take you there.]

I sighed... Yes... Why is this happening... It shouldn't be, something that was originally simple has become complicated, and it's completely wrong...

Is it your own responsibility, your own belief in responsibility? After thinking about it for a while, he shook his head self-deprecatingly, and always felt that his responsibility was to be responsible for his past? So, who was responsible for those past mistakes? Is it also me? Is it my conceit or self-confidence?

I don't want trouble, I don't want too many social circles, I don't want to create these things, and of course, I don't deliberately destroy these things that already exist. What should I do?

It doesn't exist, it doesn't exist.

A piece of ice is put in a basin of water, if you want water, take it to the stove for so long, if you want ice, then put it in the refrigerator for so long... I know these things, but what if I keep it in a state where ice and water coexist?