Qiao Chu asked me when it was decided.

I tilted my head and thought about it, do you remember when we went out for a party on New Year's Day last year?

That night, I had just arrived home, looking at the words "Mr. Lu" flashing on the screen of my mobile phone, my heart was pinched violently, my breathing stopped, my fingertips trembled a little, and I connected the phone.

On the phone, I could tell that he was drunk and called my name with a little bit of a makeover.

He told me to go to the door of a hotel, where he was waiting for me.

I stepped on the thin moonlight all over the ground, and walked over step by step, he stood under the tree, his figure long: "Are you still insisting?"

I looked at the shadow on his side face and nodded.

Then, he hugged me.

Qiao Chu turned his head to look at me and shook his head: "It's really incomprehensible. ”

Yes, I really can't understand it, if I were like Qiao Chu, my parents are both civil servants, beautiful and dressed, and most of the boys in the class are fascinated by her, then I wouldn't fall in love with the first male teacher who praised me.

However, that's just the way it is.

My parents are laid-off workers, two years ago opened a tobacco and alcohol store and was put into 20,000 yuan, my mother played mahjong and my father was drunk, drunk sometimes take me and my brother to play drunk, a family of four live in an old residential building, one floor shares a kitchen and a toilet, everywhere is mottled walls, all year round is cold and damp, need to spread a few dollars more for electricity and water bills and quarrel with neighbors.

There are really differences between people and people, sometimes I see my pale self from Qiao Chu's contact lenses, and I hate my humility to death.

The night I was brought out of the principal's office was one of the few times my dad didn't drink in my memory, and he punished me for kneeling all night, and my mom copied a feather duster and beat me: "I haven't beaten you a few times since I was a child, and I think you have a younger brother who should set an example, why do you think you are so cheap?"

I didn't say a word the whole time.

It's just that the tears kept falling, and I kept recalling what Mr. Lu told me, don't let your tears be so cheap, but I just couldn't stop crying.

If Mr. Lu saw it, he would definitely be disappointed in me again.

But for a girl who is only eighteen years old, how much can you expect?

My dad and my mom talked for a long time in the back room, the clock on the wall was ticking and ticking, and the sound of ticking sounded especially oozing in the silence of the night.

I was on my knees on the concrete floor, and my back hurt so much that I couldn't feel it.

On the wall, there is an old-fashioned wooden window, and the window lattice is still carved, because this is the old city residential area to be demolished, there is no neon, so the moonlight shines in, shines on the ground, and is carved into several small squares.

I stared blankly at the faint light on the ground, and crawled over on my knees, a spot or two of light on the back of my hand from the moonlight cut by the window lattice.

At the beginning, when I bravely took the first step, I thought I could bear it, but when it happened today, I found that I really couldn't bear it, and I had completely lost.

I remember, my mother's sleeping pills were in the third drawer.

I poured a glass of water, then poured out the sleeping pills one by one, stuffed them into my mouth one by one, and swallowed them with water.

When I ate the thirtieth tablet, I suddenly began to be afraid.

I really don't know how I had the courage to choose to die, but the process of waiting for death is the most terrifying.

I staggered to my feet, sleeping pills scattered all over the floor, I ran into the back room, and pushed my mom: "Mom, I'm going to die......"

My mom didn't pay attention to me.

My dad just rolled over.

My head began to get groggy, and when I walked out against the wall, I saw that there were all ghosts in front of me, and I reluctantly took out my PHS from my schoolbag, looked for the records, and I still dialed Mr. Lu's phone.

It rang for a long time before it was connected, it was a woman's voice, if I heard it correctly, it was the voice of my wife, I was startled and hung up directly.

Sit with your back against the wall and PHS in your hand.

At the last moment of my consciousness, I dialed Mr. Lu's phone again, and this time, it was very fast, and there was no sound on the other side.

I didn't have the strength anymore, so I said softly: "Teacher Lu, when you come back from training in the field, you will say that I seduced you, just splash any dirty water on me, anyway, dead people can't speak......"

There was a click on the microphone, like the sound of a lighter, followed by an unfamiliar male voice: "Your address." ”

"What?" I said in a very small voice, and I was already sleepy.

He exhaled softly from the microphone, with a slightly drunken breath, and said contemptuously: "Tell me your address, I can go and collect your body." ”