After more than four years, I never imagined that the first words I would say to her would be like this, how many midnight dreams back, I have dreamed that I and Xiaoxiao met in the vast sea of people, we looked at each other without words, but with love in our eyes, but at this moment, Xiaoxiao, lying on the hospital bed, her face was sick, her body was thin, her lips were dry and cracked because of long-term medication, and there was no blood, and I was holding the letter she wrote and glaring angrily

Because her letter said that she didn't want treatment or a kidney replacement, she just wanted to leave this world, let me leave her alone, let alone take the initiative to see her before she left this world

But she didn't expect that after seeing her letter, I, who had obeyed her orders, was suddenly ignited with anger in my heart, and violently pushed open her ward door and appeared in front of her, but at the moment I saw her, all the anger in my chest was wiped out, replaced by a grievance, a sadness, and a full of resentment

I thought I would never cry again, but now my eyes are full of tears

I really want to say to her: You disappeared like that, do you know how I have lived in the past four years, these more than 1,700 days and nights, how worried I am about you, Hong Xihua smiled, do you know

But when the words came to my lips, I couldn't even speak anymore, and I didn't even have the courage to call her name

And she was lying on the hospital bed, looking at me with a gentle smile on the corner of her mouth, as if she was not angry, I took it upon myself to push open the door of the ward to see her, and the girl next to her turned her head to look at me, and then looked at Xiaoxiao, her big eyes seemed to be insufficient, and she didn't understand what was going on between me and her mother

After a long time, I sorted out my mood, I took a deep breath, sat down next to Xiaoxiao, and said to her: "I will definitely do my best to help you find the source of the kidney, you are not allowed to give up, I promised you that I will not let you leave this world."

Xiaoxiao didn't speak, turned her head to the side, looked at the sunflower I let the nurse send in, I sat next to her, bit my lip carefully, hesitated for a moment, and asked her, "How are you doing in the past few years?"

Xiaoxiao withdrew her gaze staring at the sunflower and nodded lightly to indicate that she was okay

I stared at her sickly cheeks up close, looked at her eyes that had only been through the vicissitudes of life for only four years, her eyes were moist again, and she smiled and motioned to the girl next to me to hand me a tissue, I took the tissue and rearranged my emotions, and then smiled and said to her: "From now on, I will not allow you to leave me for half a step, you have to stay by my side, do you hear?"

Xiaoxiao still didn't speak, so I continued: "I lost you four years ago, and now you finally got it back by yourself, and I will never allow myself to lose you again."

Looking into my eyes with a smile, I continued with a happy expression on my face: "When you get well, you must tell me what you have encountered in the past four years, when you were born, how you were confined, and what you have done in Hangzhou, you have to tell everything one by one......

"Tian" Xiaoxiao, who had been silent, suddenly shouted

I stopped my rambling words and looked at her

"I want to take a break," said Xiaoxiao softly, not at all like an eviction order

I looked at this cheek that I had been thinking about for more than four years, took a deep breath, sat next to me like a gamble, closed my mouth, but didn't go out to laugh and laugh, I had no choice but to close my eyes, lie on the hospital bed, pretend to rest, how I didn't expect that after a while, she really fell asleep, I just took this opportunity to keep vigil for her next to her, carefully looked at the first woman in my life who loved wholeheartedly, and made a boo, signaling the girl who was painting, not to disturb my mother, after sleeping, after the girl was sleepy in the middle of the night, I held her in my arms, full of happiness next to the bed for a night

In the morning, before Xiaoxiao woke up, I went outside to prepare breakfast, and when she woke up, I wanted to feed her breakfast, but she shook her head and signaled to me, she only had a broken leg and ribs, and her hand was not broken, so she could eat it herself, I had no choice but to let her eat it herself

At noon, Xiaoxiao's attending doctor came to tell me that a case of suspected matching with Xiaoxiao's kidney source was found in the kidney source center, and the last few matches were being made, if the matching was successful, the kidney replacement operation could be performed, and the kidney source was a terminally ill teenager who wanted to do his best to donate his kidney before he died, and this teenager was also in Shanghai, but not in the same hospital, I heard about it, and immediately drove to the hospital, and saw the teenager's parents, after Xiaoxiao's condition was said, the other party's parents said that as long as the matching was successful, they had no opinion, I said with tears in my eyes, if I can save my wife's life, I will definitely reward him heavily

Hope is eager, but the result is cold, after all the matching projects of this teenager and Xiaoxiao were successful, the most critical HLA (human leukocyte antigen) matching was not successful, and the HLA matching was unsuccessful, which meant that the teenager's kidneys Xiaoxiao could not be used, and after learning the news in the hospital, I hid in the corridor and smoked a cigarette

After I finished smoking a pack of cigarettes, I threw the cigarette butts on the ground and stepped on them, came to the boy's ward, dropped 100,000 yuan and left, and after coming out of the boy's hospital building, I looked up at the sky and thought to myself, almost pleadingly: God, I'm doing good, if you have a eye, you can find a usable kidney for Xiaoxiao

Maybe my prayers are useful, maybe my prayers are useless, although there are many kidneys that can be used, but there is almost no case of successful matching with Xiaoxiao, there is a gambler who wants to sell his kidney because of gambling and loses his family property, and the matching with Xiaoxiao is carried out at the last critical moment, the gambler commits suicide in his own home because he can't bear the pain of bankruptcy, but two days later, this matching is unexpectedly successful, so exciting and disappointing things happen almost every day

In the end, I couldn't help it, I even went to do a kidney match with Xiaoxiao myself, but it turned out that we didn't even have the same blood type, and I couldn't use it at all

When I was running around for the things that laughed and laughed, the mother of the personnel girl was very dissatisfied with this, but she was also a reasonable person, especially after she saw the girl, she didn't say anything, but the time to accompany the personnel girl in the hospital every day has increased, sitting next to the personnel girl all day long, and lying on the bed like a vegetative person The girl nagged her when she was a child, I don't know why, at this time, I always think of the joke that the vegetative person heard Yang Mi singing "The Offering of Love" and then got up and turned off the music

I sometimes think that if this is really the case, I must play "The Offering of Love" to the personnel girls every day, and then I really tried it, and the result was "The Offering of Love" for the personnel girls for a night, and she didn't get up, and turned off the music to the point that I was dizzy and dizzy to listen to, and I dreamed of the charming voice of Da Mi Mi

Since I entered Xiaoxiao's ward, I often go to accompany her, but it's all when my mother is not in the hospital, Xiaoxiao is lukewarm to me, and her feelings for me have changed for the better, but she never calls me dad when Xiaoxiao is in front of her, maybe Xiaoxiao said something to her, every time I want to talk to Xiaoxiao, Xiaoxiao doesn't talk about the past

Later, after Xiaoxiao's condition was a little mild, she called her friend in Hangzhou and said that she wanted to transfer back to Hangzhou, I immediately found her as soon as I heard this, and the friend said very seriously, I can't let Xiaoxiao go back, Xiaoxiao's friend looked at me and smiled and said to me: "You are the one she loves, die and live, come back to that chicken rib."

I was stunned, and this cheerful Hangzhou woman stretched out her hand to me and said, "Hello chicken brother", and then explained with a smile to herself: "I'm sorry I have called you that all these years."

I subconsciously grabbed the woman's hand and shook it, and the woman said to me with a smile: "Xiaoxiao used to say that you are the dead and alive chicken ribs she loves, so I gave you such a nickname."

Hearing the woman say this, my eyes suddenly lit up, and I immediately asked, "What did she tell you?"

The woman sneered, "Would you like to know if you would like me to have a cup of coffee?"

I took the woman to the island coffee near the hospital with black lines and sat down to ask for two cups of coffee, and the woman said to me that she and Xiaoxiao were young, and they had known each other since they were young, and the best friend I had contacted a few days ago was her, and I saw the woman Balabala said that she didn't talk about the point for a long time, so she quickly asked: "When did Xiaoxiao go back to Hangzhou, what kind of work did she do after returning to Hangzhou, when was Xiaoxiao born, how did Xiaoxiao live during that time after she was born, did her parents also die during that time, and when did Xiaoxiao get uremia?"

This series of anxious questions made the chattering woman's eyes widen, and when she came back to her senses, she said to me very seriously: "Xiaoxiao was about four years ago back to Hangzhou, when I returned to Hangzhou, I had a big belly and couldn't work at all, and she didn't have much money at that time, she had to live in a place I rented a month later, Nannan was born in a hospital near the West Lake, Nannan was born in a very bad health, and the heart needed surgery, but because Xiaoxiao had no money, so I put Nannan in the incubator for half a month, during that time, Xiaoxiao not only had to confinement, but also borrowed medical expenses for Nannan, and then Nannan couldn't even afford to live in the incubator, so she had to leave the hospital, and then I didn't know what was going on, Xiaoxiao borrowed a sum of money to complete the operation for Nannan, I guess the root of Xiaoxiao's illness fell during confinement”

After saying this, this woman took a sip of coffee, and I had a gloomy face, and my heart was distressed like never before

I feel distressed, smile and smile, and I feel sorry for you

I suddenly asked this woman as if I had thought of something, "When was Nan Nan born three years ago?"