"The Magical Aurora" is a science and technology expository essay in the third unit of the second volume of the high school language of the current people's education edition, written by Cao Chong. However, this Cao Chong is not the son of Cao Cao, who invented the method of symbolism, but a contemporary writer. To say that the idea of this article is still very clear, the full text set up three subheadings: "Ancient Myths and Legends", "Aurora Glimpse", "The Ins and Outs of the Aurora", the article first introduces the Chinese and foreign myths and legends about the aurora and its name, and then writes about the aurora phenomenon that people observe, and finally explains the mechanism of the formation of the aurora and other scientific principles, which are in line with people's cognitive laws of objective things, as a self-reading text, it is also relatively easy to teach. However, the language of this article is relatively poor, and the author's sense of language is really flattering, so let's take a look at its first paragraph.

Legend has it that one day, more than 2,000 years BC, night came. As the sun set, the night spread its black wings across the land of China, covering up distant mountains, nearby trees, rivers and mounds, and everything. A young woman named Fu Bao sat alone in the wilderness, a bay of autumn water shining with fiery passion under her eyebrows, obviously fascinated by the quiet of the night. The night sky resembles the boundless sea, which is vast, serene, and mysterious. On the canopy, the stars twinkled, quietly overlooking the dark ground, suddenly, in the constellation Ursa Major, a rainbow-like magical band of light floated out, like smoke and fog, swaying, moving and quiet, like flowing clouds, and finally turned into a huge halo, lingering around the Big Dipper. At that time, the brightness of the ring increased dramatically, as if the bright moon was hanging in the sky, pouring a pale silver light on the earth, reflecting the entire field. Everything is clear and distinct, and the shadows are visible. Seeing this scene, Fu Bao's heart couldn't help but move. As a result, she was pregnant with Rokko and gave birth to a son. This boy is the Yellow Emperor Xuanyuan. This is probably one of the oldest myths and legends about the aurora in the world.

The rough appearance of this text is quite literary, but when I think about it carefully, I feel that there are many problems, and now I will pick the bones in the egg, although it is not actually an egg:

Legend has it that one day, more than 2,000 years BC, night came. This is a complete sentence, and if we take it out and read it separately, we think it is a bit strange, but can we delete the word "legend"? Because when we read the subtitle and add the last sentence of the paragraph, we will naturally know that it is just a legend.

The night is coming. As the sun sets, the night has ...... it "night" and "sunset" and then "night", can't the writing be a little more refreshing?

We have no objection that the night has spread its black wings on the land of China, and the night is black, but comparing it to wings is a bit like a poem, but it is very inappropriate, how good it is to compare it to a "black curtain". The land of our Shenzhou is relatively vast, and when the sun is setting in the three eastern provinces, the sun is just setting in the western part of Xinjiang, which is separated by several time zones. Therefore, the word "Shenzhou" can be deleted.

Cover up distant mountains, near trees, rivers and mounds, and everything. There is something wrong with the punctuation here, and it is recommended to change it: cover up the distant mountains, the trees, the rivers, the mounds, and everything.

A bay of autumn water under her eyebrows shines with fire-like passion, and "eyebrows" does not quite conform to phonological habits, just like we generally do not talk about "student-teacher relationship", but are used to talking about "teacher-student relationship", which should be changed to "eyebrows and eyes". "Autumn water" is a literary expression for "eye", and in order not to repeat it, it should be changed to: a bay of autumn water under her eyebrows shines with a passion like fire.

In the constellation Ursa Major, a rainbow-like magical band of light is sprinkled, like smoke and fog, swaying, moving and static, from the perspective of the sense of language, "in" should be changed to "from", "swaying" and "moving and static" semantic repetition, the latter can be deleted.

Just like the moon hanging in the air, the language is not economical, and the "hanging" can be deleted.

gave birth to a son. This boy is the Yellow Emperor Xuanyuan. One "son", one "boy", verbose!" The boy could be changed to "he", and the full stop in front of it could be changed to a comma. "Gave birth to one" is also a lack of sense of language.

This is probably one of the oldest myths and legends about the aurora in the world. I must say that Comrade Cao is not modest enough, and how can your "above" be "one of the oldest myths and legends" because you use your own words to literary imagination and interpretation, not quoting the original records of ancient books?

If it were up to me to write this paragraph, I would write something like this:

One day more than 2,000 years B.C., as night fell, distant mountains, near trees, rivers, mounds...... Everything on the earth gradually lurks in the vast twilight. There was a young woman named Fu Bao sitting alone in the wilderness, her kind eyes revealing a fiery passion, obviously fascinated by the quiet night. The night sky is like a vast sea, serene and mysterious. On the canopy, the stars twinkled, quietly overlooking the dark earth. Suddenly, a rainbow-like magical band of light floated out from the constellation Ursa Major, swaying like smoke and mist, and finally it turned into a huge halo that lingered around the Big Dipper. At the same time, the brightness of the ring also increased dramatically, like a bright moon in the sky, pouring a silver glow down on the earth, illuminating the entire wilderness, and everything was clearly distinguished. Seeing this scene, Fu Bao's heart couldn't help but move. As a result, she conceived Rokka, and later gave birth to a son, who was the Yellow Emperor Xuanyuan: probably one of the oldest myths and legends about the aurora in the world.

Looking at other passages, I can only pick out some of the more obvious faults to talk about:

1. There is also a record of the aurora in the ancient book "Classic of Mountains and Seas" in China. This is the first sentence of the second paragraph of the article, reading as if the previous paragraph is about a record of the aurora in an ancient foreign book, and the previous paragraph is the story of the aurora and the pregnancy of the Yellow Emperor with the treasure attached to the aurora. It should be changed to: There is also a record of the aurora in the "Classic of Mountains and Seas".

2. The beautiful display of this light is caused by the discharge radiation in the atmosphere at high altitude. Sick sentences! Extract the main stem of the sentence and understand it at a glance.

3. In ancient times, there was no word aurora in China, so it was called according to the different shape differences of the aurora, such as "Tiangu", "Dao Xing", "Chiyou Qi", "Tiankai Eyes", "Starfall Like Rain" and so on, most of them are scattered in the records of astrology, demon stars, alien stars, meteors, and auspicious qi in the history books. Don't use "so" without causation; Starfall is like rain" is a figurative sentence, not a "title", unlike the previous few are nouns, if replaced with "meteor shower" is appropriate. This sentence can be changed to: there was no word "aurora" in ancient China, people according to the difference in the shape of the aurora, respectively, called "Tiangu", "Dao Xing", "Chiyou Qi", "Tiankaiyan" and so on, most of them are scattered in the history books about the stars, auspicious records.

4. The term aurora is derived from the Latin word Ios. Legend has it that Ios is the embodiment of the Greek myth of "dawn" (in fact, referring to the dawn and sunrise), and the "term" is derived from the word "word"? Instead: the term "aurora" is derived from the Latin "Ios". Ios is the embodiment of the dawn in Greek mythology, which actually refers to the dawn and the morning glow.

5. Aurora was also said to be the wife of Orion. There is probably more than one star in a constellation, right?

6. Sometimes she is depicted as such a goddess, holding a large jug, stretching her wings, giving alms to the world, just like the Guanyin Bodhisattva in the story of Buddhism in China, sprinkling nectar to the world. The word "almsgiving" is not emotionally colorful, and the punctuation is also inappropriate. Instead: Sometimes she is depicted as such a goddess: holding a large jug, stretching her wings, and swaying morning dew to the world, like Guanyin Bodhisattva in Buddhist stories, spreading sweet rain to the world.

7. The most frequent place where the aurora appears is in the two ring ribbon areas near the north-south magnetic latitude of 67 degrees, and the word "magnetic" should be deleted.

8. Aurora activity occurs almost every day in the Aurora Zone. Instead: Aurora activity occurs almost every day in the Aurora Zone or almost every day in the Aurora Zone.

9. A very large aurora on the night of February 10, 1958 can be seen in the tropics, and "tropical" should be changed to "low latitudes" or "near the equator".

10. In the cold polar region, people raise their eyes to look at the night sky, and often see the aurora in various shapes. It can be changed to: in the cold polar region, people look up at the night sky and often see the colorful and diverse auroras.

11. First, the bottom edge is neatly and slightly curved in the arc-shaped aurora solitary, and the "top" seems to be missing before the "slight bending".

12. The brightness of the moon until the full moon. It should be changed to: the brightness that is bright until the full moon.

13. We often say when we describe things becoming fast: "When an eye blinks, the old hen becomes a duck." The punctuation is wrong, instead: we often say "an old hen becomes a duck in the blink of an eye" when we describe things getting fast.

14. There are hundreds of kilometers up and down, and "hundreds or thousands" should be changed to "hundreds or even thousands".

15. The aurora is so colorful and so varied, and in such a vast and boundless dome, the word "long" is wrong, and it should be "hole".

16. For a long time, the mechanism of aurora has not been satisfactorily explained. For quite some time, it was thought that the aurora could be formed by three reasons. One view is that the aurora is a fire that has been ignited outside the Earth, because the Arctic region is close to the edge of the Earth...... "mechanism" is a coined word, "for a long time" and "for a long time" repeats the previous "for a long time". If it says "the following three reasons", then it should be followed by "one reason is ......"; If the phrase "one view ......" is retained, it should be preceded by the words "there are three main views". The Earth is a sphere, what is its edge? There are three main opinions about the cause of the aurora. One view is that the aurora is a fire that has been ignited outside the Earth......

17. Aurora is not only an optical phenomenon, but also a radio phenomenon, which can be detected and studied with radar, and it will also radiate certain radio waves. Some people also say that the aurora can produce a variety of sounds. Aurora is not only an important topic for scientific research, but also has a direct impact on many practical engineering projects such as radio communications, long cable communications, and long pipelines and power transmission lines. Auroras can also affect the climate and affect biological processes. Of course, there are still many unsolved mysteries about the aurora. This is the last paragraph of the article. The use of related words is confusing and the logic is not clear. It should read that the aurora is an optical phenomenon as well as a radio phenomenon that can be detected and studied with radar, and it also emits certain radio waves. Some people also say that the aurora can produce a variety of sounds. Auroras are an important subject of scientific research, as they have a direct impact on radio communications, long-cable communications, and pipeline and power transmission. Auroras can also affect the climate and affect biological processes. In short, there are still many mysteries of the aurora to be solved.

In view of the poor language of "The Magical Aurora", it is suggested that experts quickly withdraw it from the high school Chinese textbook and resume the selection of classic good texts such as "The Making of Cloisonné", "A Good Tree Species - Paulownia" and "Cicada".