Chapter 067: Sense of Presence
After a good night's sleep, when I woke up again, it was already the early morning of the next day, when did Zhou Yanqing leave. Cheng Xun didn't have half an impression. It's just that I woke up in a trance, and when I opened my eyes, I saw the good weather outside the window, blue sky and white clouds, and the weather turned cold in November, which is really a good season to lie in bed.
Cheng Xunxuan slept for more than 20 minutes before getting up, changed his clothes, and went downstairs after a simple wash. The room was quieter than expected, but at this point in time, it was basically time to go to work.
Sister-in-law Qing who met at the staircase, "Get up, I still want to go upstairs to call you." Used to have breakfast. ”
"Hmm. Cheng Xunxun nodded. With her went to the restaurant.
"Aunt Five, good morning. ”
Seeing Zhou Yanan, Cheng Xunxun was a little surprised, and Sister-in-law Qing smiled on the side and said, "The girl is here to eat and drink." ”
"No. Last night, I heard my mother say that the fifth aunt and the fifth uncle moved back to the mansion, and you see that I don't go to work, so I came to accompany my aunt to relieve my boredom. By this time the maid had already brought out breakfast. Cheng Xunchun is pregnant, and the breakfast is naturally hearty, and Qing's sister-in-law has already arranged the recipe, seven days a week, every day is different.
This one is called a 'fifth aunt', Cheng Xunxian feels that he is more than ten years older, it sounds a little weird, after all, Zhou Yanan is still three years older than her, and she has always called Zhou Yanan sister before!
"You might as well call me Ten-ten. ”
Zhou Ya smiled awkwardly and said, "Then how can I do it, the seniority is here, let your grandmother hear it in the middle of the year, and I want to say that I have no rules and no manners." ”
"What do you say about me? I heard your chattering early in the morning, making a fuss. "The old lady happened to come back from morning exercise, and I don't know where she came from.
This really scared Zhou Yanan. As soon as I turned my head, I saw the old lady coming slowly in a casual dress. ignored Zhou Yanan, the little girl, and only looked at Cheng Xunxun, who was sitting on the side, and asked, "How is it? Did you sleep well last night?
She bent down and sat down, and Sister-in-law Qing had already brought water.
"It's good, this is my home, I can't get used to it. ”
"Grandma, you don't have a good question, with the fifth uncle here, can the fifth aunt sleep badly? If it's really bad, it must be the fifth uncle's trouble. ”
Cheng Xunxun took a bun casually, blocked it directly, and said, "You have a good breakfast." ”
Zhou Yanan was not annoyed, but smiled even more, nodded again and again, and said, "Okay, okay, I'll have breakfast, I won't speak." Said so, but the eyes were naked, and he raised his eyebrows, not shying away from Dou Lanying who was present.
The old lady coughed and said, "Yanan, don't mess around." Although you are your fifth aunt, you are older than her in terms of age, you have to know the proportions, you are twenty-five, and you are still like a child, what do you think. In two days, I'll ask your grandfather to arrange a position for you, don't stay at home all day, don't do anything, just know how to eat, drink and be merry. ”
After the old lady finished speaking, she got up and went upstairs to change her clothes.
Cheng Xunxun was still a little restrained, glanced at Zhou Yanan, and whispered: "Don't make fun of me, the old lady is not happy." ”
"Family, if there is anything you can't say, grandma has long been used to it. She just said that, since I graduated and now, I have said it more than a hundred times, don't you think I'm still at home?" Zhou Yanan held his head high, took a bite of the bun, and said, "I don't want to go to work in the company, how can the airborne troops be so good." And those people's faces are all in front of them and behind them, it's too complicated, I can't stand it, I might as well go to the welfare home to help and take care of the children when I have time. ”
She turned her head as she spoke, raised her chin at Cheng Xunxun, and asked, "Are you interested?" ”
Cheng Xunxun is actually not interested, her love has never overflowed, and it will not overflow, after all, her own experience is there, she really can't spare so many empty seats to pity others, and she is not qualified to sympathize with others. Compassion is something that only people with a privileged life have.
And Zhou Yanan's life is indeed very superior, and he can't even encounter setbacks.
She smiled and said, "Okay." ”
"Well, I'll arrange it in a few days, and I'll let you know when the time comes. ”
In the next few days, Zhou Yanan simply lived in the mansion, and the relationship with Cheng Xunchun was also rising, the two were close to each other and were naturally optimistic, so they could be regarded as a match. Dou Lanying has a charitable foundation to manage, and she is very busy most of the time, so she can't take care of her all the time, but this is a good thing for Cheng Xunxun.
She doesn't really want it, there is an elder around her to take care of it, and she is too restrained, so most of the time Cheng Xunchun spends her time on her own, and she doesn't go out much. On the fifth day of Zhou's house, Zhou Yanqing was also merciful and re-issued a calling card for her, including a brand new one.
He didn't go home for dinner that day, but Zhou Jiayu came over for dinner. After Cheng Xunchun came back, this was the first time she met Zhou Jiayu, and she was still a little embarrassed, and after the whole meal, the atmosphere was also a little dull, and Zhou Yanan, who had an extremely sensitive sense of smell in this regard, suddenly felt strange. Zhou Jingyang is not here today, and there are only female dependents left at home, and this week's Jiayu can be regarded as a little green among thousands of flowers.
Jiang Ruhui knew that Cheng Xunchun had come back, and she had never appeared again, and she had not even shown up at the Foundation, and she kept saying that she was sick and needed to rest. Dou Lanying was naturally unhappy about this, "Jiayu, how is your mother's health?"
Zhou Jiayu kept his eyes down and ate quietly, he had prepared for this problem before he came, and said: "It's still not good, mainly mentally, the doctor told her to keep her in a good mood and not have any pressure." You know that the death of her eldest brother was a big blow to her, and the psychological shadow brought to her by this incident may not be able to get out for a while. ”
"Mom, she also knows that it's almost the end of the year, and you will definitely plan to hold a charity dinner, but this time she can't help much, in case she has a nervous breakdown and makes trouble for you. If you can't make a difference, you must pay for it. ”
Dou Lanying snorted and said with a smile: "Pay the money?"
"That's nature. ”
"That's a good relationship, I'll wait and see, take a good look at how much money the Jiang family can contribute now. Dou Lanying put down her chopsticks, wiped her mouth with a handkerchief, and said, "When you go back, remember to tell your mother, take good care of your body, it's really not good to raise here, and it's okay to go back to your parents' house." After all, Jiashu grew up in Zhou's family, and there are memories everywhere, she must be hurt like this, so it is better to go back to her parents' house to raise it, when it will be raised, and when will she come back. ”
"Good. ”
"Let's eat. Dou Lanying waved her hand, obviously dissatisfied with Jiang Ruhui's attitude this time, it is enough to play for two days with a small temperament, this has been showing her face, who is it for!
The Jiang family has been in the middle of the road in the past few years, how much oil did Jiang Ruhui get stuck, and the Zhou family helped them a few times, and they even put up a score! Dou Lanying lost her appetite at once, and left the table after a few hasty bites, and went to the Buddhist hall to meditate on her own.
As soon as the old lady left, Cheng Xunxun breathed a sigh of relief, and ran back to the room after eating, without staying for a moment, which can be regarded as avoiding suspicion.
As soon as Cheng Xun's front foot returned to the room, Zhou Yanan followed with his back foot, holding a plate of grapes in his hand, pretending to be like a little palace maid, and said, "Little aunt, niece, I brought you grapes." ”
Zhou Yanan always made fun of her, and Cheng Xunxun was also used to it, and said, "Why did you send it here?"
"Sister-in-law Qing is busy, hey, you don't want to see me, my heart is really cold. She said as she ran into the room, this was the first time she had entered Zhou Yanqing's room, you must know that his room is not allowed to enter, you can't sneak it, this will have this opportunity, of course you have to take a good visit.
Cheng Xunxun ignored her, sat on the sofa with a plate, read a book and ate grapes.
This person wandered around the outside, and then went to the inner room, where there was a photo wall with photos of Zhou Yanqing from different periods. Zhou Yanan stood for a long time, and after coming out, he sat beside Cheng Xunxun with a serious face, making a thinking motion, and after a while, he raised his hand and bumped her arm, saying, "Didn't you notice that there was something missing in this room?"
Cheng Xunxun stuffed a grape into his mouth, didn't raise his head, and replied: "No, aren't they all quite complete?"
After speaking, the people around him didn't react, and suddenly seemed to have found something, and stood up, and after a while, I only heard her shout, "Ten years." ”
Cheng Xunxun raised his head when he heard the sound, and then heard a 'click', the flash light turned on, Cheng Xunxun closed his eyes reflexively, and when he opened them again, he saw Zhou Yanan standing up straight, holding a SLR to look at the photo, with a satisfied smile on his face, and said, "Less of your things, and your group photo." ”
"Don't you think your sense of existence is very low? If it weren't for your own sitting here, I would suspect that the fifth uncle slept alone. Anyway, you are now his pillow person, and it is finally justified, what's wrong with you giving yourself a sense of presence?" She crossed her waist with one hand, looked at Cheng Xunxun who was a little wooden condescendingly, and said: "You can't let him feel your presence only when he sleeps at night, you have to let him feel your presence all the time, even if you are not around, you must let him have a feeling of ghost." ”
"No, no, no, the word 'ghost does not disperse' is not used well, it should be a haunting feeling. ”
Cheng Xunxun sneered, spit out the seeds, and said with a smile: "What are you doing, I'm not a fox spirit, why do you want him to haunt his dreams." ”
"No, I always feel that the fifth uncle is very calm and self-controlled with you, he doesn't have that feeling, his gaze at you is soft, but he doesn't have that kind of spoiling feeling, do you understand?"
"He's been nice to me. Cheng Xunxun said, there was no change in expression on his face.
"It's good, but I don't think it's a bit ...... A little bit of that?"
"Don't know what you're talking about. Cheng Xunxun reached out to get the camera, but Zhou Yanan dodged it.
With an expression of hatred, he sat down with the camera, reached out and poked her head, and said, "Love, it's love." You're not far away, it's like you're separated by a piece of glass, don't you think?"
"I don't think so. She reached out and grabbed the camera, snatched it persistently, looked at the photo she had just taken, frowned, and said, "It's so stupid." ”
"Are you stupid?" Zhou Yanan poked his head over, Cheng Xunxun wanted to delete it, but she stopped him, snatched it back, and said, "How cute, men like this, you won't understand." ”
She was silent for a while, as if she had made up some kind of determination, grabbed her hand, twisted her brows, and looked at her with a serious face. ”
"I didn't want to tell you, after all, it's rare for the relationship between the two of you to be justified, and I can see that you like the fifth uncle......"
Zhou Yanan's words, Cheng Xunshun didn't listen to them, and was stunned for a while, Zhou Yanan shook her for a while, and then she reacted, looked at her with wide eyes, and asked reflexively: "How can you see that I like the fifth uncle?"
"Look at the eyes, but you're also quite restrained. Also, even if you are justifiably between you, there are some things that should not be too exposed. People will feel uncomfortable when they see it, for example, Zhou Jiayu, I think he can't wait to eat you, but his hatred is a bit too much, I guess he has different feelings for you, you remember to avoid it. ”
After Zhou Yanan finished speaking, he suddenly seemed to think of something, glared, and said, "Why is your attention here? Let me tell you Anyu, didn't you hear? Aren't you curious, aren't you sad? I tell you, you have to work hard, so that the fifth uncle falls in love with you, it can be regarded as a kind of redemption for him." ”
This kind of thing, how difficult it is, Cheng Xunxuan didn't speak, and stuffed two grapes into his mouth in a row. Poked her chin with her fingers, thinking over and over again, does she like Zhou Yanqing?
When Zhou Yanan left, he took her camera away, saying that he wanted to wash out the photos for her. Cheng Xunxun couldn't persuade her, so she had to take the camera away.
A little later, the maid brought the tonic to her to drink, which was specially arranged for her.
When Zhou Yanqing came back, she sat on the platform, holding her cheeks with her hands and looking out the window. It was already past eleven o'clock when he came back, with a faint smell of tobacco and alcohol on his body, Cheng Xunxi was about in a daze, Zhou Yanqing came in, she didn't react, she sat there upright, and there was no response.
He went over, took one out of his pocket, put it on the coffee table, and said, "Still not resting?"
Cheng Xunxun suddenly came back to his senses when he heard the sound, turned his head, Zhou Yanqing had already taken off his coat, rolled up his sleeves, took a grape on the plate, and put it in his mouth, which was what she had eaten.
"I'm waiting for you. ”
"Pregnant women should go to bed early and don't have to wait for me in the future. As he spoke, he took another grape.
"Oh, okay. Cheng Xunxun nodded, turned around, and saw that he took another grape, and ate all the remaining grapes from her, and couldn't help asking: "Delicious, or I'll go downstairs to help you wash some?"
In the past two days, Zhou Yanqing has always helped her sweep the tail, every time the maid brings fruit up, after Cheng Xunchun eats it, he will eat the rest when he comes back, which looks strange and pitiful.
"No, I don't. ”
"Oh. Cheng Xunxun sat on the platform and didn't stand up, just looked up at him.
Zhou Yanqing finished eating the last grape, ripped off his tie, and walked in while unbuttoning it, and after walking for a while, he remembered something, turned his head to look in the direction of the platform, and happened to meet Cheng Xunxun's straight eyes. She had been staring at her since now, he raised his eyebrows, turned around, put his hands on his waist, and asked, "What?
"Uh. Cheng Xunxun immediately retracted his gaze, raised his hand and grabbed his hair, and said with a smile: "No." ”
"Sleeping. He waved at her.
Cheng Xunxun immediately got up and followed, after Zhou Yanan left, she is still lingering on the sentence of liking, how did she see it!
Zhou Yanqing came out of the shower, Cheng Xunxun was already lying on the bed, with his back to this side, and the light on her side was already dark. He closed the door of the bathroom, looked at the time, and then looked at the person lying motionless on one side, the quiet needle drop in the room could be heard, and Cheng Xunxun's breathing was very light, so light that even if she was lying beside her, it was difficult to find her existence.
Zhou Yanan was right, in this room, Cheng Xunxun's sense of existence was too low, so low that only when he reached out and accidentally touched her body, he suddenly realized that there was an extra person beside him.
Actually, that's good, maybe even better if it had been a little less troublesome.
Thinking of Sun Jie's words, he couldn't help but be a little annoyed. There are also two kinds of kraft candy, one is noisy, which reminds you all the time that he is sticking to your body, and the other is quiet, sticking to an inconspicuous place, maybe when he falls off automatically, you will find out that he has always been on your body.
Sun Jie is the former, while Cheng Xunxun is the latter.
Zhou Yanqing came back late today because after the entertainment, he saw one more person, and that was Sun Jie. The two made an appointment at the tea bar, quiet and elegant, to be honest, this is not suitable for Sun Jie's style. But I heard that he has been cultivating himself recently, and he didn't even go to Fengyue Place, everyone thought that he might have been caught in the door by the door, and his behavior was weird, and some people even said that he was a ghost.
The shell is still Sun Jie, but the soul inside is no longer Sun Jie himself.
When Zhou Yanqing passed, Sun Jie had been waiting for a long time, with rare patience, and he was still dressed in a formal suit, a dozen suits and ties, which looked a little bit like this.
"Here, it's really not easy to see you, I thought I was going to be ranked for the New Year, I didn't expect the fifth master to give face so much, and he would be willing to see me so soon. ”
Zhou Yanqing sat down, Sun Jie immediately poured him a cup of tea and handed it to him, his attitude was respectful, showing friendliness everywhere, and his self-cultivation everywhere, pretending to be quite similar. Zhou Yanqing didn't drink, just sat sideways, rested on the table with one hand, and said, "If you have something to say, don't be polite." Sun Shao, when did you learn this kind of polite words?"
"People, they will always change, like the fifth master, haven't you also changed. It became so calm and calm. ”
Zhou Yanqing glanced at him, didn't say anything, and didn't bother to talk to him about the language.
"Oh, this is Sun Shao's, it fell on Xun Xun before, she asked me to return it to you early in the morning, but I've been busy lately, so I forgot about it, and I just took this opportunity to return it to you, remember to put it away next time, don't throw it away." The assistant went outside and got it in the car.
Sun Jie smiled, took a sip of the cup, and said, "This is not something I accidentally left there, it was a gift I gave her, since it was a gift, I naturally have no reason to take it back." The fifth master should help me return it to the tenth year, I think she should need this recently, people always have to contact more people in the outside world, otherwise it will be out of touch with society. I'm still so young, I'm afraid I can't sit still. ”
"The fifth master is now so imprisoned by her, what I know is that the fifth master is a loving wife, and those who don't know think that you are imprisoned. Of course, you have your way to hide her, and I have my way to find her. ”
"You specifically came to me just to say this?" Zhou Yanqing raised his eyes, with a hint of contempt in his eyes.
Sun Jie shrugged his shoulders and said with a smile: "It's not all, I just want to tell you that I have a crush on your wife, and I want to clarify with you that anything I do to Xun Xun is not something I want to do to you." So you must not be amorous and think that I am pestering you for the sake of you. ”
He glanced down at the teacup in front of Zhou Yanqing, the heat had dissipated, but he didn't move at all.
Zhou Yanqing smiled politely, stood up, looked at him condescendingly, and said: "You are free to do this, but I don't have to remind Sun Shao, your father has a good career now, and it is better for you to cause less trouble." This kind of thing is official luck, you must cherish it when you come, what if it is gone one day?"
He took a step in the direction of Sun Jie, stood on the side of the table, reached out and pinched the place on the table, picked it up, patted it gently, and said: "It's hard for me to imagine what Sun Shao will look like when the Sun family disappears from the political world one day." ”
With that, he turned and left.
The smile on Sun Jie's face did not decrease, he let go of the hand holding the teacup, reached out and took the one that was placed on the side, raised it to his eyes and looked left and right, and smiled slightly.
……
The next day, it wasn't until noon that she took a nap, Cheng Xunxun found that Zhou Yanqing put it on the coffee table, when the bell rang, she happened to come out of the inner room, picked it up and took a look, who knew that it rang as soon as she picked it up, which really startled Cheng Xunxun, and as soon as her fingers were loosened, she fell to the ground.
Cheng Xunxi has been useless for a while, and the whole person is quiet, and he will suddenly hear the bell, but he is a little unaccustomed to it. She bent over and rubbed her eyes, only then did she see clearly that Zhou Yanqing's name was beating on the screen, and the three huge characters were clearly reflected in her eyes.
She stretched out her hand to pick it up, picked up the phone in a daze, looked at the connection for a while, and then put it in her ear, and didn't speak for a long time, just listened quietly, and the person on the other end of the phone didn't speak.
After a while, Zhou Yanqing spoke first, 'hey', and said, "What are you doing?"
It was quiet, and his voice came from the other end of the earpiece, reaching her ears, as if the man was nearby. Cheng Xunxun couldn't help but sit up straight, turned his head and glanced back, sure enough, he slept a lot, the whole person was a little stupid, and his voice was soft.
She grabbed her hair and said with a smile, "I just woke up and took a nap." ”
"Well, it's for you, it's easy to contact, so that no one can find you as soon as you go out. ”
"Oh. Cheng Xunxun nodded, and then added a thank you.
"Nothing else, I'll hang up, you go back to sleep. ”
"I've gotten up, I'm not sleeping, I've been sleeping a lot lately, and I feel like I'm eating in addition to sleeping. Cheng Xunxun said that the afternoon sun was warm, and she couldn't help but step on the platform again, standing in front of the floor-to-ceiling window and looking out of the window.
The leaves and lawn are yellow, Cheng Xunxun knows that there is a road leading to the mansion is planted with ginkgo trees on both sides, and in autumn, the road is yellow, and when the breeze blows, the ginkgo trees fall, which is particularly beautiful. Cheng Xunxun suddenly wanted to take pictures, but the SLR was taken away by Zhou Yanan, and he didn't know when he would be able to return it.
Zhou Yanan didn't show up for three days after taking the camera, and Cheng Xunxi has been following Dou Lanying to taste tea and learn art for the past three days. There are at least hundreds of photos stored in her camera, all kinds, and the portraits are probably mainly Zhou Jiashu's. Zhou Yanan flipped through all the photos inside, and after reading it, he cried in the room, as far as she knew, Zhou Jiashu didn't like to take pictures in front of him, so he didn't leave many photos, most of them were when he was still healthy when he was a child, and then he started to get sick, so he didn't take pictures anymore.
And Cheng Xunxun's photography skills are too good, and he always captures the inadvertent moment, so in every photo, Zhou Jiashu looks very vibrant, even if he is pale, his smile is still so good-looking, as if he can soften the whole time with a smile. From these photos, she seems to be able to feel Cheng Xunxun's feelings for Zhou Jiashu. Better than a lover, closer than a loved one.
On the day Zhou Yanan returned the camera, his eyes were still swollen, and the whole person became very calm, looking at her so seriously with a pair of walnut eyes, which made Cheng Xunxun feel very struggling, she looked very funny, but the atmosphere she revealed was a little heavy, and the feeling of wanting to be unable to laugh was really terrible.
"What's wrong with you?" Cheng Xunxuan finished drinking the tonic he had to drink every day, took two candied fruits, put one in his mouth, and stuffed one into Zhou Yanan's mouth.
Zhou Yanan chewed twice, raised his hand and rubbed his nose, and said, "You seem to like taking pictures very much, there are a lot of photos in it." ”
Cheng Xunxuan paused for a moment, then remembered that there were many photos of Zhou Jiashu here, and saw her red eyes again, so he roughly guessed something, and said, "Did you see it?"
Zhou Yanan didn't respond to her words, he only reached out and picked up the bag that was placed on the side, took out a photo frame from it, handed it to her, and said, "Na, this is what I made according to the size of the photo wall inside, you can hang it." ”
The photo frame is very exquisite, and the photo in it was taken casually by Zhou Yanan with a camera last time, no matter how you look at it, I feel very stupid, holding a grape in my hand and looking up.
"It's beautiful. Cheng Xunxun said with a smile.
Zhou Yanan took out a photo album from the bag again, the same kind of extremely exquisite workmanship, she pinched it in her hand, was silent for a while, and handed the album over, her appearance was rare and serious, and said: "This is what I did privately, and I didn't have your consent, but I think the eldest brother is gone, it's nothing to make a photo album like this, he didn't leave anything before his death, even the photos are few, so little that everyone is about to forget his appearance." ”
"Seriously, I haven't seen my big brother smile since he got sick. In fact, I think you have always been very caring, even if my mother always says that you are deep-minded, and you are not sincere to anyone, stepping on the eldest brother to climb up, cheating shares or something. But I think you have a heart. ”
Zhou Yanan didn't sit for too long and left, Cheng Xunxuan looked at the album page by page, she forgot when these photos were taken, but she can still clearly remember what happened behind each photo, the reason why she likes to take pictures, probably the same, record the impact of that moment.
Even as time passes, the photos are still there, and the memories are still there.
After reading the photos, Cheng Xunxun felt a little bored, so he took the shawl and walked out of the room.
At this point in time, the villa was very clean, Cheng Xunshu stopped when he walked to the staircase, looked up in the direction of the third floor, thought about it and went upstairs, Zhou Jiashu's room was upstairs, and the room should have been dusted up now.
There was no light on the third floor, the corridor was dark, and it looked a little gloomy, Cheng Xunxun was wrapped in a shawl, and walked to the door of Zhou Jiashu's room step by step and stopped.
She raised her hand to grasp the doorknob and pressed it lightly, but she didn't expect it to open and not lock. She walked in, and there was a dampness in her face, Cheng Xunxun reached out and touched the switch and turned on the light. What catches your eye is the white color of the room, and all the furnishings in the room are covered with white.
Zhou Yanqing came back, pushed the door in but only saw the photo frame on the coffee table, today's fruit is winter dates, she kept most of it, I don't know if it's because she doesn't like to eat it, or if it's specially reserved for him.
He picked up the picture frame and glanced at it, first paused, and then smiled helplessly, and that kind of stupidity was revealed from the photo. But what about her? He didn't come back late today, and it stands to reason that she should be sitting here either reading a book or watching TV, although he said he wouldn't let her wait, but she waited every time.
Everything else was there, but she wasn't.
He went to the back room to take a look, and the bed was neatly made?? , there is no figure of her. He frowned slightly, took out a call, but the familiar bell rang in the room, and she didn't take it with her.
Zhou Yanqing glanced down at the photo in his hand, put the photo frame on the cabinet, he sat for a while, stared at the photo on the coffee table and this plate of winter dates, stood up in a moment, opened the door and went out. The Zhou family is very large, and it is really troublesome to find someone, and it is easy to get lost.
Later, Zhou Yanqing felt that his move to go out to find someone was redundant, and he forgot that Cheng Xunxun had been here for eight years, and he would not get lost at all. Probably confused by that silly photo, thinking that she was stupid, maybe she went out for a walk, but she got lost in this mansion and couldn't find it.