Chen Feiyang won't allow me to get out, if I get out now, he will find a rhythm for the night, he can't get rid of him, and he can't get out, so I can only go to the bedroom and lock the door and sulk.

I'm going to be, I'm going to be blown up. Sitting on the bed and clutching the pillow, one of the thoughts in my head at that time was that I couldn't live this day.

Since I married Chen Feiyang, in just a few months, we have quarreled and fought with his family, but I have never had such an idea. I think the noisy run-in of marriage is essential, although I am angry, but I don't really go to my heart.

This time, Chen Feiyang touched my bottom line, and I couldn't tolerate it. I also began to regret it, I regretted marrying Chen Feiyang, if I didn't get married, I would still be me, a simple and crisp me, I can do whatever I want, I don't have to worry about the feelings of the so-called family, how good it is when I am alone, when I am alone, my own secret is my own secret, the memories are sweet, and even crying is happier than now.

I remembered a lyric, "Transfer the warmth of one person to the chest of another person, and let the mistakes made last time reflect on the dream", I thought that two people living together are supporting and taking care of each other, and the strength of two people is greater than that of one person, but why is it more difficult for two people than one person.

I really regret it, what kind of longing for home, there was no Chen Feiyang at that time, maybe I would have come over by myself.

Of course, this is all impulsive when thinking. A person can not eat love as a meal, but the bowl of marriage must be eaten after it is served, no matter how unpalatable it is.

I know that I am already married to him, is it so easy to say goodbye?

So I could only hold myself back from crying, thinking that I still had a Chen Feiyang seed in my belly, and I never considered having a baby, even though I didn't want a child now.

I feel like I've done a lot of evil in my life. I even thought that if I divorced Chen Feiyang now, how would I give birth to this child, and then be a strong single mother, and then ...... I still have to take Wu Yuqing with me.

Can I let the child have no father, I can support these three by myself, can I really do it? It seems that it is too cruel, and it seems too cruel to give birth to Chen Feiyang's child and not raise him.

I hated myself for being pregnant at this time, beating my belly with my fist, who let you come, who let you come at this time.

I was crying while beating myself, and I was afraid that I would really break the child, oh my God, what should I do?

Chen Feiyang stayed outside, and I tried to imagine forgiving him, but I really couldn't forgive him. Perhaps, after he saw my past, he might not be able to forgive me?

Every time I encountered a problem before, I would still be more active in solving it, trying to understand him from his point of view, but this time I really couldn't do it.

Crying, crying, remembering that I have to go to the game tomorrow, I never opened the door, I didn't go out to wash, I just went to sleep.

Chen Feiyang still rolled out that night, I don't know where he went. No matter how good he is to me, he has a temper, and he will feel wronged.

He just couldn't help but want to know all about me, but in fact, he really did, was he happy? He should be worse than me.

The next day, I took my luggage and Shao Siwei on the trip, and I had to stay there for three or four days for this competition, because I was in a different place, I still brought Wu Yuqing as originally planned, and she was always stuffy at home.

On the train, Wu Yuqing slept, Shao Siwei asked me why my eyes were swollen, think about it and guess it, probably I was arguing with Chen Feiyang last night, so I could only sigh silently.

I always unconsciously think of this mess, I want to cry when I think about it, I asked Shao Siwei if there is a way to make me not want to, Shao Siwei said that there is nothing I can do.

Then Wang Zhaoyang texted me and asked if I was already on my way.

Click to reply, I edited it several times, I typed his name, "Wang Zhaoyang", and then deleted, I typed "I'm not happy", and then deleted, I don't know what to say to him, I have a ** to talk to, but I am very sober that I can't talk to him, so I only replied with a "um".

Wang Zhaoyang said come on to me, and I replied with a string of ellipses.

He knows my language habits too well, as long as I reply to the ellipsis when I communicate by text, it means that I have something to say but can't, and most of the time, I am definitely unhappy.

He asked me what was wrong.

I said, "No, sleep, don't go back".

When I put down my phone, I cried again. I think that if there was no Wang Zhaoyang in this world, I would not be so miserable, because I had no other choice, because of Wang Zhaoyang, and reason told me that I couldn't choose, I was miserable. But he still has it in his heart, and every time he communicates, although I deliberately avoid it, it never feels strange.

It was as if he was right there with me and never left.

I came to the competition, Shao Siwei advised me to relax my mind, and I would deal with the bad things at home when I got back, and don't think about anything for the time being. I understand, so when Chen Feiyang calls me, I will also answer it perfunctorily, I can't say three or two sentences, and I feel that I have nothing to say, so I hang up.

We didn't mention that matter for the time being, but between the conversations, it was inevitable that there were some suppressed emotions. Not saying that I don't mean I forgot.

On the day of the finals, we played normally, the order of the draw was not very good, and in the third group, the level was just like that. The province where I live is not a place that is good at cultivating artists, and we can count them here, but if you really put it into the whole country, it is very average.

Anyway, it's good to play normally, and it's not completely ranked in itself.

At the end of the curtain call, I swept a person in the audience, like Wang Zhaoyang. The lights on the stage were too dim, and there was a beam of light coming from where he was standing, so I couldn't see him clearly.

The curtain call retreated backstage, and the more I thought about it, the more I felt like it, and secretly ran to the corner to look at the audience, and the person who was standing there was gone. On second thought, it seems that it was really him.

Casually put on a piece of clothing, I ran directly to the exit, "Wang Zhaoyang?"

The figure that was moving away stood and turned to look at me with a solemn expression. I was a little dazed, blinking my eyes, and there were tears welling up, "You...... Why are you here?"

He smiled, "These two days off." ”

I tried to take a step closer, but it was cold at night, so Wang Zhaoyang walked up to me and stood three steps away. My heart, that jump, opened my mouth, "Then what, leave now?"

He smiled, "There's something else to do, so I'll stop by and see my friends." ”

I nodded, "Well, I still have to wait for the results, so I won't accompany you." ”

He smiled and laughed, and I was not obligated to accompany him. Glancing at me lightly, Wang Zhaoyang turned around and was about to leave, and I couldn't help but stop him again, "Wang Zhaoyang." ”

He looked back at me.

I said, "Are you here to watch me compete, and you'll leave after I dance, and you don't even plan to say hello to me, do you?"

As I spoke, I shed tears again, and I heard that pregnant women are more emotionally fragile, which may be true. Wang Zhaoyang's expression paused, as if he wanted to explain something.

He doesn't need to explain, I know everything. Because today, if it were Wang Zhaoyang who was here, I would do the same. I didn't want to miss everything about him, but I didn't want to bother when I participated, so I wouldn't say hello and would leave silently.

I didn't listen to his answer, I lowered my head and cried, Wang Zhaoyang walked in and wiped away my tears. I just hugged him, and he was stunned for a moment, and reached out to wrap his arms around my back.

I cried and cried in his arms, I hadn't thrown myself into this embrace for a long time, but he was still so kind, not the slightest stranger.

I cried and whimpered, not the kind of pear blossom with rain, it was really crying, crying ugly. Wang Zhaoyang could only hug me and say nothing.

I regret it, I really regret it, I shouldn't have left him, I thought people were the same. It's nothing more than choosing one to live by, and it's the same after a long time of getting used to it. But it's not the same at all, Wang Zhaoyang is the best man I think in the world, no matter what he has done or missed.

That little bit of fault couldn't hide the beauty of his other aspects, but I couldn't see it clearly because I didn't lose it at the time.

He hugged me and didn't say anything to comfort me, probably he could understand what was on my mind.

When I was almost crying, he said, "It's a good jump, it's touching." ”

Today's dance between me and Shao Siwei was adapted by Shao Siwei, which is a tragedy. Originally, it was the love between two men who jumped, and there are many things with high artistic value in their gay circle, but because of the subject matter restrictions, they are rarely exposed publicly. Shao Siwei changed him into the relationship between men and women, from the warm passion at the beginning, to the thinking after the passion subsided, and true love was reborn after thinking, but under the obstruction of reality, the two people who should have embraced each other warmly ended up separated by yin and yang.

When Shao Siwei was choreographing this dance, I always felt that he was telling his heart, Shao Siwei had a suppressed flame in his heart, he didn't show it to anyone, but I always suspected that he had suicidal thoughts.

But in this dance, I was the one who committed suicide.

In real life, it is impossible for me to commit suicide, and people who commit suicide need extraordinary courage, the courage to let go of all concerns, and I don't have it.

"I'm pregnant. Holding Wang Zhaoyang, I shed tears and told him weakly, "I'm pregnant......"

I need to confide in someone, but all I can think of is Wang Zhaoyang. He is like my black hole, invisibly sucking all my thoughts away.

Because I was pregnant and pregnant with someone else's child, I couldn't stay even though I longed for his arms so much. This helpless reality is about to collapse me.

He was stunned, holding me by the shoulders to separate us, his eyes were secretly broken, and he smiled sadly at my tears.

I was crying, he was laughing, laughing so hard and so heartbreaking, wiping my tears, he wanted to say something, but he still laughed like that.

My hands gripped his sleeves, and they were clenched so tightly that their knuckles were white.

Finally, he pushed my hand away, "Announce the results immediately, I still have ...... business"

He turned around and walked as fast as I could, and I watched him from behind, crouching down and crying uncontrollably. Shao Siwei came out to look for me, looking at the back in the distance, I could only hug him and cry fiercely.

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