"Defend the family and defend the country, all the Jingzen monks joined the army and sacrificed, so how can there be monks here?" Li Yu said indifferently: "From the beginning, I felt a little strange, you let them seek their own peace in their own way, but this is your reason, not the principle of Zen, the Buddha longs for emptiness, desire is emptiness, emptiness is desire, and desire to be peaceful will not be exhausted after all, after all, in the Buddha's explanation, desire is an endless hell... From here, I know that you should not be a serious monk, but more like our Taoist priests, with one heart, seeking chic..."

Li Yu's words ruthlessly revealed the solemn and sacred appearance of the empty self, and finally paused and said: "Well, if this Jingzen Temple is not called Jingzen Temple, but what kind of Jingzen Taoist temple, maybe he is a Taoist... Interestingly, Schrödinger's empty self abbot, who he is, depends on the external situation. ”

"It can't be... Abbot he..."Jing Si couldn't believe it, and the longing for the usual Buddhism in his heart suddenly collapsed.

I entered the Buddha because of the empty self, but I found that the Buddha is not the empty self...

"He redeemed you, redeemed the people in the Jingchan Temple who seek peace of mind, it is merit, it is grace, but for the Jingchan Temple, for himself, this Jingchan Temple, on the contrary, is like a prison, not to seek peace, not to seek quiet, the only thing that makes him feel at peace is the war-torn years, at least, at that time, all I thought about every day was just to survive, just thinking about living, there would be no troubles..."Li Yu said indifferently.

I folded my hands together and did not recite the Buddha's name.

"I have been meditating here for a long, long time, not only to escape, but also to think about how to escape into the empty door, even after the war, I can justifiably escape. ”

"He... That's right, although there are some discrepancies with some places, most of them are things that I have experienced. The abbot smiled apologetically at Jing Si: "I'm sorry, I used to be that kind of person, a humble person that you wouldn't even face with your eyes until now. ”

"Abbot..."Jing Si didn't know what expression to use to face.

I saw that the abbot continued.

"That year, when I was still young, I was born in a wealthy family, and my family were all silk merchants, rich in food and clothing, and happy, but it was a pity that the arrival of the invaders broke my happiness, the happiness of the family, my parents died because of resistance, and my brother raised a gun for the country, and joined the team of resistance, but unfortunately, they all died, like the grandfather of this donor. Sora smiled lightly: "I started to wander without brothers and family, I tried everything just to survive, or steal, or rob, or beg, to survive like an ant, and finally, the battlefield extended to where I was, and the homeless men and beggars raised their broken bowls and threw them at the invaders, while I ran towards the mountains, I just wanted to survive, I wanted to live, I was afraid of death, very, very afraid of death.."

The empty self sits quietly under the acacia tree.

"When I came in, I found a dead little monk, I was not clothed at that time, so I pulled off the little monk's clothes, and after burying him, I hid here, I boiled snow when I was thirsty, and when I was hungry I ate tree bark, and squirrels prepared pine nuts for the winter, I did everything, I just wanted to live, and in these years, I gained peace, no war, no chaos, I fled from it all, under this acacia tree... I became a real monk, a real monk. Ignoring the eyes of the people around me, I said indifferently: "Later, I went out of the mountain, I came to Jingchan Temple, this empty and simple temple, I inherited here, that little monk is a monk of Jingchan Temple, after I inherited here, I took in a lot of war orphans, and also took in a lot of people, like me, who seek peace, hoping to atone for this... There are many people who find peace in the temple of the poor monks, so that the poor monks feel redeemed, but in the end, they cannot redeem themselves. ”

"The older I get, the more I realize that I can't be redeemed, from the time when I did whatever it took to survive, there was no turning back, the sea of suffering was endless, turning back is the shore, but it's a pity that not everyone can go back to this shore..."

"This place once gave me tranquility, it was a dream place for me, but here, it is also the place I dare not face, every time I come here, I can think of the little monk, the guy who was about the same age as me, but resolutely sacrificed his life for the country, he died greatly, and I have no shame to face him, empty me, in fact, I am empty... I was born meaninglessly, and it just so happened that I was dying soon because of illness, and maybe I would be able to reap true peace by then. ”

As he spoke, Sora began to cough violently, coughing up blood.

Judging from the black panel that I saw through before, this empty my abbot is hopeless, riddled with diseases, and it will be empty after all.

Li Yu didn't know what to say, he only felt a little regretful.

I have been helping people find tranquility all my life, but I don't know what tranquility is in the end.

"Big brother, he... Not a bad guy. Su Mengqi said in a whisper on the side: "He doesn't actually have to hold on to the guilt for so many years, he just wants to live, he is not a hero who defends his family and the country, nor is he a flattering bear, just an ordinary person who wants to survive." ”

"Hmm..."

Su Mengjie also said.

Li Yu understands their feelings, so many years of life dependent on each other, has long made them clear a truth, sometimes life, is a very difficult thing, many people put the big truth on their lips, but in their hearts, it is just because they have not experienced it.

It's shameful to run away because you want to live, but it's not ridiculous...

"Life is like a dream for eighty years, right and wrong, success or failure, with a guilty conscience, no shame, only he knows, some people smile at it, and some people will linger on it for a lifetime. Li Yu paused and said, "However, he is not like he said, he can't seek tranquility in his life..."

At this time, the tree suddenly moved.

The acacia tree, which has withered for the winter, trembles slightly.

Li Yu said.

"For him, the experience of the past was attachment, but for some beings, how can he not be attachment, everything is dependent and everything is dependent and perished, he has been here and it is dependent origination, and now, it is time for fate to extinguish..."

Dry acacia, windless automatic.

What swayed away was a colorful snow.

Dead branches are swinging.

With a whisper...

The phantom of the acacia gradually approached the emptiness, and the emerald green eyes looked at the terminally ill old monk who stepped into death.

"Little monk... It's really you're back this time..."