Because I am a selfish person, even if I put myself in the shoes of others, I am selfish for them.

I think that hard work, struggle, and making money, how can it be said that it is for others, and the foundation laid by these struggles is still the most direct beneficiary of himself. Of course, it cannot be ruled out that I just want to shirk my responsibility.

So I told Chen Feiyang about my thoughts, I am probably also learning from Wang Zhaoyang to play psychological offensive, and first do a certain amount of psychological construction for Chen Feiyang.

But Chen Feiyang is not me, he is firmer than me, and his psychological defense line is not so easy to break.

It's still the same sentence, "You are all my motivation, without you, I would still be living the same life this year as last year, and next year as I am this year." Since I retired, I have been messing around, and after I got to know you, I have a goal, I want you to live a good life. ”

I bowed my head, thought about it, and retorted shamelessly, and I said, "But everyone is always a single individual, and can't put their hopes on others, so what if, to put it mildly, what if I die suddenly?"

"Then I'll die with you. He replied quickly, and not like a joke, not like trying to amuse me.

That's not a good idea.

I said, "I'll be honest with you, no one can guarantee the future." ”

Chen Feiyang didn't listen anymore, took a pair of big shorts, didn't say hello to me, and went to the toilet to take a shower. I felt it, I thought he should feel it, so he didn't give me a chance to speak.

Sitting on the bed, I remembered his sentence "Then I will die with you", what kind of resoluteness is this. I can't do it, no matter whether Wang Zhaoyang or Chen Feiyang, whoever dies, I don't dare to say immediately that I will die with me, there is always a reason to live in the world.

Most people can't actually do it, Chen Feiyang thinks that what he has done is because he is too pure, and he has the arrogance and determination of a person who practices martial arts.

Then I remembered one more thing, before I quarreled with Chen Feiyang because his mother always went to our house to take care of our two affairs, and his mother thought that I liked to buy clothes for Chen Feiyang. It's really not a waste of me, Chen Feiyang's figure is too good, he looks good in any thirty or fifty stalls.

I want to buy it as soon as I see it, and he wears a T-shirt in the summer, and he sweats easily when he exercises a lot.

Just talk about me, and if I don't listen, I'll talk about Chen Feiyang, and I'll talk about it many times. At that time, I felt that I didn't spend her money, and I was very unconvinced, so I said to Chen Feiyang, which means that if the keeps mixing with the two of us, sooner or later we won't be able to get along.

That's the only time I've never said anything like that, Chen Feiyang glared, as if joking and threatening, "In my dictionary, there is only widowhood and no divorce, you can do it." ”

It scared me for a long time.

Now I'm really a little scared, I'm afraid that if I choose an inappropriate time to speak, the tendon in Chen Feiyang's head can't be reversed, and it's easy to go to extremes.

Of course, going to extremes doesn't mean I'm worried that he'll kill me, he's a drinker, and I'm afraid he'll go out and drink and get into trouble. This drinking will cause trouble, but it can be big or small, Chen Feiyang, a dangerous person in society, is really energetic, and it will kill people if he makes a move, so he can't prevent it.

I'll have to watch and see.

Listening to the stagnant water on the floor after Chen Feiyang took a bath, he usually doesn't mop it, waiting for it to cool off naturally, I also quarreled with him about this, and now he remembers it. I hurriedly pretended to sleep, I was embarrassed to push him to sleep on the sofa, but I didn't want to do that thing with him anymore.

It's going to feel awkward.

He lifted the quilt and went to bed, and smoked a cigarette at the head of the bed, and I smelled the tobacco and felt like I couldn't sleep. I haven't smoked for a long time, and I'm a little sensitive to this smell, in fact, I think the smell of tobacco belongs to men, and I'm thinking, even if Chen Feiyang is naïve and simple, he is still a man in the end.

There will always be a day when he matures, what will he be like when he matures, maybe I will no longer participate in it at that time, and I am still a little curious.

Extinguishing the cigarette butt, he still can't seem to sleep. Tried to reach out and hug me, since I pretended to be asleep, I couldn't avoid it, but I didn't respond, and curled up.

With his face resting on my shoulder, he pulled my hair open and kissed me, which made me feel clever. Yesterday I was still lying next to Wang Zhaoyang, although we didn't do anything, today there is a different man next to me.

How I'm a little disgusted with myself.

I pushed his hand away and whispered, "I'm tired, go to sleep." ”

Chen Feiyang didn't embarrass me. But I can think of him not feeling very well, he is so young, he is naturally sexually strong, and we haven't been together for so long, he must have wanted to think about it, and he must have thought that he was uncomfortable.

So he still couldn't sleep, so he finally got out of bed, ran to the window and did five sets of push-ups, and then did five sets of squats, tired himself out of sweat, and fell asleep with exhaustion.

Turning my head to look at him, I felt so uncomfortable that I couldn't wait to divide myself into two, one for Wang Zhaoyang and one for him. But that's not fair to anyone.

Inevitably, I hurt him, he loves me, I don't love him, but I have hurt him by giving him hope.

Fingers slid over the tip of his nose, and I looked at him with a look at my loved ones, Chen Feiyang was indeed very close to me, but it never really developed into love.

All I can do is work hard to earn money. This year, what he paid for me, I owe him, although it can't be measured by money, but there is always some meaning, in this material society, money has some meaning, as if he thinks that as long as he works hard to earn money, he can keep me.

I want to give him a little more time to help him find the motivation to continue his life in a good direction other than me, so that I can walk more comfortably.

During the day, I went to the school to give dance lessons to students, and I received my bank card withdrawal information on my mobile phone.

Except for the dance studio, there was silence on the campus during the holidays, and I looked in the direction of the playground, not knowing where Wang Zhaoyang was doing at this time. But for the time being, I still don't even have a position to call and say hello and care.

In a love triangle, these two men who are not aggrieved.

Someone called me, it was the head of the Education Bureau, and I had a bad feeling again. The phone was answered, and the leader: "Xiaoyan, what about the weekend?"

"Ah, yes. "I'm quite wooden, and my tone is relatively unfamiliar, but it's not the posture I had when I asked someone to do something.

The leader over there said, "If you have time to have a meal, a few colleagues from the unit will gather today to get to know some people." ”

Dinner...... It's miserable, I'm in trouble, can people help you do things for nothing, just rush your two cigarettes and a case of wine? People are willing to help me, to put it bluntly, it's not for my beauty.

Beautiful female teachers, there are few who have not been hooked up by the leader, this is the truth, some people can withstand it, and some people can't stand it.

Of course, I excused myself, saying that I was going to teach today, someone in my family was hospitalized, and I had to go to bed with me in the afternoon, so I couldn't get out of my way. They didn't embarrass me too much, and said, "Next time, can you not give face to your brother?"

"Ah, yes, have fun. ”

The so-called damage to the enemy by 1,000 and self-injury by 800, the so-called law of conservation of energy, everything has a price, you think you have taken it all in, but there are always some aspects that you haven't thought about yet.

I can only hope that this harassment is just a small fight, and I will pass after a few more refusals.

When I went home in the evening, Chen Feiyang was in a very bad mood, and when I asked him what was wrong, he said gloomily, "Hundreds of bugs died today." ”

No one is stupid, as long as they start dying, it will be in large batches, preferably just because of room temperature. I asked, "How long will it take for the air conditioner to arrive?"

He said, "Five or six will take a few days." ”

In a few days, maybe you'll be dead in a few days. I helped him on the wrist, "It's okay, isn't it just a few hundred dollars?"

The more than 40,000, part of it is the money he rents a house, part of it is the money to buy bugs, and part of it is the franchise fee, I have prepared for the worst, if the worms die, we will return the house and the franchise fee will withdraw, and we should be able to come back more than 20,000 yuan.

Chen Feiyang held his forehead and rested his chin on my shoulder, "Am I real, I can't do anything?"

I could only coax him, "It's already good, don't work too hard, your eyes are bloodshot." ”

In that dark room, picking out all the dead bugs, his eyes are really hard. I went to find eye drops for him, Chen Feiyang held his neck and asked me to give him drops, his eyes became redder, he sniffled, and turned his face to the side.

I felt like he was crying, and my eyes were moist, but I couldn't really comfort him, I couldn't hug him.

When school opened, I met Wang Zhaoyang in the cafeteria at noon, and across the two windows, he was about to walk towards me with a lunch box, I looked at him and shook my head.

But he came over anyway, as if he didn't care about any extra glances.

They sat down at the table, but fortunately there were no other teachers around. Wang Zhaoyang was peeling eggs, his technique was very good, he peeled out a big white egg in a few strokes and put it in my lunch box.

I cautiously glanced left and right, "Don't do this, it's not good for others to see it." ”

He chuckled, didn't care, and asked me, "How's the talk going?"

I shook my head.

Should I report this matter to Wang Zhaoyang, and how to report it, I panicked when I thought about it.

After eating two bites of food, the mobile phone rang again, and when I saw that it was still from the Education Bureau, I shook my head and planned not to answer. It rang after a while.

Wang Zhaoyang asked me, "Why don't you pick it up?"

"A neuropathy. "I feigned composure.

Wang Zhaoyang wanted to look at my phone, but I stopped him, "Don't worry about it." ”

Wang Zhaoyang joked, "If you look good, you can recruit people anywhere." ”

I gave him a blank look, I didn't want to, I regretted that my intestines were almost green.

While picking up vegetables, he said, "It seems that I will exercise more in the future." ”

"What?"

"It's a lot of pressure. ”