Forest...... "I said again cautiously.

He leaned back suddenly, as if he had lost his strength, his eyes were a little sluggish, and he said in a sneering voice, "Your mother...... Are you alright?"

I pressed the question in my mind: "It's okay." I thought for a moment and looked at him suspiciously, "Excuse me, do you know my mother?"

He suddenly buried his face between his hands, and only raised his head after a while: "Yes......" He stopped talking, but finally sighed, "I'm sorry, I feel a little unwell, next time I'll invite you to dinner." ”

I understood the meaning of his words, and even though I had many doubts in my heart, I didn't ask any questions.

When I came out of Xu Zhengfeng's house, I felt full of doubts in my heart, and even an inexplicable uneasiness, but I vaguely didn't want to figure out where the uneasiness came from. I recalled his dejected look just now, and for some reason, I felt a little sad.

In the evening, Gu Feng called and said that he was going to visit my parents to discuss the engagement. Listening to his gentle voice, I suppressed the urge to tell him about the meeting with Xu Zhengfeng in the afternoon. He was not on good terms with Xu Zhengfeng, and saying it would only spoil the atmosphere at the moment. And even if Xu Zhengfeng knows my mother, she may just be an old friend from the past, and it is not something that must be said. I said to myself in my heart.

Later, I wondered if I didn't run away from my inner turmoil at that time, to figure out what happened back then, whether that incident would not have happened, and whether my choice could have made other people, especially her, less harmful......

Sometimes we go through thousands of mountains and rivers and think that the willows and flowers are bright, but we can't escape our fate after all. Grievances and grievances, it's never that you owe me ten points, and you can pay me back twelve points. Sometimes you even owe me 10 points, and you can't make up for it with everything you have.

Visible wounds will eventually heal and scab over time, and even scars will not be left behind. And the invisible wound can only be hidden in the bottom of the heart, and it has become a lifelong wound over the years.

On the sixth day of July, the day before Chinese Valentine's Day, Gu Feng and I set off early in the morning to visit my parents in G City. He was dressed in a formal suit, his hair was meticulously combed, and his expression was still faint, but his slightly tight neck betrayed his mood.

"Are you nervous?" I asked with a smile.

"Ahem, who said I was nervous. Gu Feng pretended to be calm.

"Oh, it's going to rain, my mother wants to get married, and my pretty son-in-law wants to see my father-in-law and mother-in-law!" I pretended to tease him lightly, but I was actually a little nervous.

He smiled and rubbed my hair with a helpless expression.

After driving for more than two hours, I finally arrived in G City. The familiar white walls and tiles that come to eye and have not been back for more than a year, this small city does not seem to have changed much.

Yesterday I had already called home, and my dad on the other end of the phone seemed very happy, saying that he was going to buy a few bottles of good wine, and she also answered the phone, although her tone was still light, but she still told us to be careful on the road.

Gu Feng parked the car, and then the two of us went upstairs with a few large bags of things.

The house was divided into my dad's unit, and the mottled façade shows the history of the building, and the narrow staircase only allows two adults to sit side by side. This is the place where I grew up, carrying my memories for more than ten or twenty years, and I have stepped on every staircase countless times.

Maybe when people grow up, their concept of hometown is different. About, the one who can't go back is the hometown.

The hometown that I can't go back to is still that hometown, but my parents are aging every day, and the number of times they see each other is getting less and less.

Probably when I first returned to a familiar place, I felt a lot of emotion in my heart. I suddenly felt that maybe my mother had her story in her heart, and maybe her coldness was just helpless. After thinking about it a lot, I felt that I should take the initiative to repair the relationship with her.

Just as I was feeling emotional, I had already walked to the door of my house on the sixth floor.

I rang the doorbell, and soon, the door opened, it was my brother, Xia Yu, he called "sister" excitedly, and when he saw Gu Feng standing next to me, he winked at me and shouted "brother-in-law" with a smile.

I glared at him, turned my head to look at Gu Feng, he also just came to look good, smiled meaningfully, I also smiled, and walked in the door first.

Xia Yu is a sophomore this year, and he hasn't seen him for more than a year, and he has grown a lot taller. Although I have a cold relationship with my mother, I am very good with this only brother. He was five years younger than me, and I rode his bicycle with him to school in elementary school.

"Is Xiaoqing here?" I had just entered the door when I heard my father's voice.

"Dad, we're here. I put my things down and looked around the room, "Where's my mother?"

"She went out to buy groceries, and she didn't think I bought enough food. Hey, I've bought several bags, and she still can't say enough, it's really ......" His tone sounded helpless but with a distinct smile. I was stunned for a moment, and a warm feeling felt in my heart.

"Dad, this is Gu Feng. ”

"Hello uncle. Gu Feng said politely.

"Okay, Xiaoqing, quickly pour Xiaofeng a cup of tea. My dad said with a smile.

I haven't seen him for more than a year, and I have seen that my father's temples have a lot of gray hair, and his honest face is still gentle, and his dry lines are full of bones.

Since I was a child, my mother has always been cold and indifferent to me, but my father has been gentle with me. Looking at his hands, I remembered that he used to rub my head and the palm was warm.

There was a "click", and there was a sound of unlocking at the door.

I looked back and my mom walked in with two big bags of things. It was hot, and there was a slight sweat on her forehead. The skin is still fair, but there are fine lines at the corners of the eyes. A plain dress looked generous and decent on her, and she held a tissue to wipe the sweat from her forehead, her movements were elegant and gentle.

"Mom. I stood up and screamed softly.

"Well, it's back. She replied faintly.

"Hello, Auntie. Gu Feng also got up.

She nodded, turned to Xia Yu and said, "Xiaoyu, come and help Mom." ”

Xia Yu sighed exaggeratedly, hung his head and walked to the kitchen, complaining as he walked: "Mom, can't you ask her to help you when my sister comes back, belch, why am I so miserable." ”

The kitchen is a short distance from the living room, and I vaguely heard her laughing and scolding: "Tell you to pick a dish, talk so much......"

Xia Yu was still chattering, and his mother said a few words to him from time to time. I wanted to go to the kitchen to help, but when I heard the conversation between the two of them, I suddenly dispelled the idea, and I couldn't say what it was like in my heart, some envy, and some ...... Sour, that's the normal way of getting along with the child, because the mother knows that the mother won't really scold, so the child dares to complain to the mother about the tedious housework. And I and her, probably never have this kind of conversation in our lifetime.

Suddenly, my hand tightened, and Gu Feng's hand grasped my hand and shook it gently. I turned to look at him, and he smiled softly, as if he understood what I was thinking.

The sourness was diluted at once, and the strength of his hand was very slight, but it seemed to give me a strong faith, like a lonely drifter on the dark sea and suddenly grabbed a piece of driftwood, and like a ray of sunshine that suddenly appeared in the gloomy winter, so bright that people's eyes were sour.

I smiled at him and signaled to him that I was fine.

Dad chatted with Gu Feng about some news and current affairs, and I was a little bored when I listened, so I went to the room to take a look at random.

I haven't been back for more than a year, but my room is still clean and tidy, the family photo frame on the bedside table is spotless, I was only five years old at the time, the newborn Xia Yu was held in my mother's arms, her smile was gentle, and there seemed to be a luster called maternal love in those perennial indifferent eyes.

I remember that when Xia Yu was full moon when I took this kind of photo, my mother's whole body softened down, she often looked at the little baby in her arms and smiled, I was ignorant at the age of five, but her gentle smile has been imprinted in my mind, and it has become my obsession for so many years. What you can't ask for often becomes an obsession.

When I saw this photo again, I suddenly realized that it seemed that the obsession had faded to the point that it was nowhere to be found, perhaps because something else had filled a void in my heart.

"Sister, it's time to eat!" Xia Yu's voice interrupted my thoughts.

I looked around the tidy room again, the sunlight shining in through the glass window, sprinkling on the corner of the quilt, and the wind blew the tulle on the window. I looked at the gentle smile on the family photo, suddenly smiled with relief, answered the "ambiguous, here", walked out of the room, and gently closed the door.

The past has passed, isn't it, the deceased is like Sifu, we gradually grow and transform in the long river of time, and what we once asked for or lost may come to you quietly in another way one day. At that time, we may really understand the meaning of time.

"Sister, you see how partial my mother is, I went home for more than a month, and I didn't see her cook, as soon as you came, she immediately cooked a large table of dishes herself. Alas, why am I so miserable......" Xia Yu sighed deliberately.

I was stunned, turned my head slightly sideways and looked at my mother, her face flashed with a hint of embarrassment, and she reached out and patted Xia Yu's arm: "Hurry up and eat." ”

"You kid, I can't stop you when I eat. My dad scolded with a smile, and looked at Gu Feng again: "Xiaofeng, eat more, you're welcome." ”

"Thank you, uncle. Gu Feng nodded with a smile.

I clipped a chicken leg to Xia Yu: "Oh, your favorite chicken leg." ”

"Hehe, thank you, sis. ”

I hesitated with my chopsticks, then put another piece of pork ribs in her bowl: "Mom, eat pork ribs." ”

She seemed stunned for a moment, and then said, "Well, you can eat more, too." The tone was still light, but with a hint of imperceptible softness.

"By the way, Xiaofeng, you just said that your mother has passed away, but what about your father?" my father asked casually.

Gu Feng paused and said, "My father passed away when I was just born. He seemed hesitant to continue, pursed his lips, and then spoke again, "My stepfather...... In the city of T. ”

"Oh," he didn't expect this to be the case, but after a moment's thought, he said, "The engagement is a big deal, and we'll find a time to visit your father and grandfather, and the two families will discuss it." Where does your dad work? ”

"He works in the Zhongzheng Group," Gu Feng finished speaking, and was silent for a while before he said, "The matter of meeting...... I'll tell you when I talk to him. ”

The chopsticks in my mother's hand were obviously stunned, her face changed, and she turned her head to look at Gu Feng suddenly: "He ......" Her tone seemed to be very abrupt, and her eyes stared at Gu Feng, "Your father...... What's your name?"

"Xu Zhengfeng. Gu Feng said.

With a "snap", her chopsticks fell from her hand, one fell on the table, and the other fell to the ground, as if she had turned a deaf ear.

His name was ...... What?" she stared at Gu Feng with a pale face.

Gu Feng realized her strange reaction and looked at me, and I was at a loss. He looked at her again and said it again.

She stood up suddenly, her chair scraping the floor with a screeching sound. She seemed to lose her strength suddenly, staggered, and her tone was jerky and stiff: "I...... A little uncomfortable, go back to the room to rest first. ”

With that, he staggered to his room.

I looked at my dad worriedly, and he didn't seem to understand the situation: "You eat first, I'll go see your mom." ”

Gu Feng frowned, as if he was thinking about whether he had said something wrong.

I suddenly thought of Xu Zhengfeng's expression after hearing my mother's name that day, and I suddenly felt a little panicked, I looked at Gu Feng and said astringently: "Your father...... I may know my mom. ”

Hearing this, Gu Feng was stunned, obviously he didn't expect it to be such a coincidence.

My dad went in for a while and didn't go out, and the three of us looked at each other, and we all had no appetite for food.

More than half an hour later, my dad walked out, and he sighed a little helplessly: "Your mom is resting...... Why don't you go back first, and come back next time your mother is better. ”

I was suspicious, looked at my father, and then looked at Gu Feng: "Why don't you go back first, I'll ...... I'll talk to my mom. ”

I asked Gu Feng to go back first and stayed by myself.

I knocked on the door of the master bedroom: "Mom, I'm in." ”

I pushed open the door and saw her sitting at the head of the bed, her face pale, her hands wrung together on her lap, her body trembling.

Hearing my voice, she jerked her head up, her eyes reddened, and her eyes stared at me fiercely like a poisoned knife.

I felt an inexplicable fear in my heart.

"I don't agree!" she said suddenly, her voice hoarse, "I don't allow you to be with him!

I was stunned, looked at her suspiciously, and asked tentatively, "Why? Mom, why?"

"If I can't say it, I can't say it!" she shouted at me, hideous and terrifying, and her graceful face cracked instantly.

"Mom!" I half-crouched at her feet, raised my head and stared straight at her, "Why?

She looked at me steadily, and suddenly as if she had been relieved of her strength, her straight back collapsed at once, her expression was sluggish, and tears flowed down her face, and the tears dripped on the back of my hand, which was so hot that I was frightened.

This is the first time I have seen her shed tears since I was sensible, and in my memory, she always looked indifferent, even making people feel cold and tough. I've never seen her look like this.

I buried myself in her lap, tears streaming uncontrollably, and my heart was in turmoil.

After crying, she seemed to calm down a little, but her face looked tired, she leaned on the head of the bed, closed her eyes, and the undried tears were still hanging in the corners of her eyes, as if she was several years old in an instant.

I helped her out of bed, pulled the quilt over it, pulled the door open, and walked out in a daze.

My dad sat on the couch, not saying a word, with a sad face. I had a gut feeling he should know why.

I walked over and sat down next to him, and called softly, "Dad," looking at him uneasily, "You know, don't you? Tell me, okay?"

He looked at me with a complicated expression, looked away again, and sighed: "You just listen to your mother, your mother...... This life is too bitter. ”

"Dad!" I felt even more uneasy, "you tell me!

"Alas, Xiaoqing," he still sighed, "don't force Dad, your mother doesn't want to say it, Dad respects her." Just be considerate of her. ”

I looked at him in a daze, thoughts flashing through my mind. Suddenly, I thought of a solution. I grabbed my phone and stormed the door.

"Xiaoqing, where are you going?" he was startled by me.

"Sister!" Xia Yu also shouted.

I hurriedly went downstairs, stopped a taxi, slammed open the door, and gave the taxi driver an address.

The car quickly started up and merged into the traffic. Outside the window, it was still the same scene that I was familiar with, but at the moment I only felt that my eyes were full of mess, and the buildings were shaking by like phantoms, which made me suddenly feel strange. It seems that all this is illusory.

I suddenly felt sick to my stomach, I didn't have time to eat breakfast in the morning, I didn't eat two bites at noon, and at the moment there was only acid water gushing in my stomach, and I could barely suppress the discomfort in my stomach. The two hands were twisted together at some point, the palms were damp, and the cold sweat was drenched.

I don't know if it was the taxi driver who turned the temperature of the air conditioner too low or something else, but I just felt cold in my body, and the cold seemed to penetrate through my skin and seem to reach the bottom of my heart.

I stared at the driver's dashboard, hoping that he would drive faster and that he would never get there.

Whether I wanted it or not, the taxi driver still followed the navigation to get to that place accurately.

I paid to push the car door, took a deep breath, walked downstairs to Xu Zhengfeng's apartment, and pressed his room number. Today, Saturday, he happened to be at home, and seeing through the surveillance that it was me, he quickly opened the door downstairs.

I walked into the elevator and saw the red numbers on the display beating rapidly, and my heart jumped with it.

When I stepped out of the elevator, I saw him open the door and standing in the door waiting for me.

Seeing his gentle and kind face, I suddenly felt a little uneasy and didn't dare to walk over.

"Xiaoqing?" he shouted.

I gritted my teeth and walked over.

I walked straight into his house, didn't even look at him, and sat down on the couch.

He came over and said, "Do you want tea or ......"

"Do you know my mother?" I interrupted abruptly, looking straight at him.

He was stunned for a moment, and it took him a moment to react, and a look of pain flashed across his face, and he slowly walked over and sat down on the sofa diagonally across from me.

"Yes," he sighed, "I know your mother, Lin Yinshuang. ”

"You ......," I hesitated and pursed my lips, "what is your relationship with her?"

He was silent for a while, and then spoke slowly: "Your mother and I ...... Once lovers. ”

I felt my brain "boom" and was silent for a while before I took a deep breath and asked astringently, "You guys...... When were we together? and when were we...... Broke up?"

"Twenty-seven years ago, I met her for the first time, in the branch of Zhongzheng Group in S City," Xu Zhengfeng seemed to fall into a memory, his eyes looked at the window, and the sunlight fell through the screen window, dappled all over the ground.

After a while, he withdrew his gaze and slowly talked about the old things twenty-seven years ago......

It was early spring, and the thin sunlight shallow through the transparent glass window poured into his office, and she happened to be standing in the dappled light. The sun was bright and pleasant, but he felt that the patch was so bright and dazzling that he was embarrassed to look at it directly. At that time, he was only a twenty-six-year-old boy, although he held the position of general manager, he should sound mature and stable and have social experience, but in fact he was only a young man who had graduated a few years ago, and because of the family industry, he became the general manager of the branch.

He remembered that there was a faint flush on her white face at that time, which may have been due to nervousness, or maybe she was shy, so beautiful that he would remember it for the rest of his life. It was only a few businesslike and slightly unnatural conversations that he fell in love with her.

At that time, she was good-looking, slim, and surrounded by many suitors, both overt and covert, and my father was one of them, and silently liked her for many years. Rao is like this, but she has never been in love, maybe the people of that era were conservative, or she had sacred and beautiful expectations for love.

Who knows, just that time, she also fell in love with him, probably love is never reasonable. He was handsome, mature, personable, gentle and elegant, but he was a little shy when he saw her, and perhaps it was that real shyness that made her heart beat wildly for whom she had not throbbed in twenty-two years.

She successfully passed the interview and entered the Zhongzheng Group for an internship, and she can meet him almost every day. He treated her differently from everyone else, teaching her personally at work, shushing her and asking for warmth, and the other colleagues soon realized that the relationship between the two of them was unusual.

At that time, she had just started her internship and she was nervous. Her colleagues in the office seemed busy and aloof, and no one took the initiative to talk to her, let alone lecture her. These office "cultures", when she was still young and had no social experience, where did she understand this.

She smiled at others, and others replied that she was indifferent. She felt frustrated, uneasy, and confused.

He came out of the office and needed to pass by her desk, when he saw the owner of those bright, slightly misty eyes with a timid look of bewilderment. He had only one thought in his heart, that is, he wanted her to stop being so cowardly and helpless from now on.

The feelings of young men and women about love always come and go, and getting along with each other for a long time exacerbates this feeling. Soon after, the two quietly fell in love. Working in the same company, although he was the general manager of the company, she was very nervous at that time and did not dare to let her colleagues in the company and classmates know. She is just a girl born in an ordinary family, and he has a prominent background, and there will definitely be a lot of gossip between the two of them.

Degree of literature