Moussa froze, his eyes darkened, and his shoulders plummeted slightly. The night was tired, he sighed hoarsely, "I guessed you didn't want to, but I didn't think of it...... Your reaction will be so strong. ”

I stared straight at Musa, like a whip was being whipped in pain, "Why did you bring it up with your mother when you knew in your heart I didn't want to?"

He shook his head, the resolute lines of his face hidden in his frustration, "Cece, my conversation with my mother is not what you think. She has always been very tolerant of me, and we are like friends talking to each other, not just talking to my parents about marriage past you. He paused, closed his eyes slightly, and added, "Besides, if my father had known, I might have been confined to my house now, and I would not be able to sit here." But my mother wouldn't be like that, I just said it to hear her opinion, that's all. ”

Hearing this, my angry look finally eased a little. Anyway, he didn't completely ignore my feelings, and he made me aware of his struggles.

I slowed my voice, calming down a bit, and asked, "What advice did she give you?"

His eyes were glazed, he was silent for a long time, and then he looked up at me, his expression full of contradiction and hesitation: "I don't know if it will hurt you if I say it, actually—" At this point, he stopped, and his hand on the edge of the sofa was clenched tightly, as if it was difficult to speak.

I don't know what Moses is going to say, but looking at his look, it shouldn't be something to hear. But the intense* kept driving me, making me want to know, to understand, and to look at him with apprehensive eyes.

But he clenched his fists like that and thought about it for a long time, I was a little anxious, and unhappily 'interjected' and said: "If you have something to say, say it quickly, it's a big deal, I'll take it as the wind in my ears." ”

Moses had a gloomy face and a furrowed brow. Suddenly, he sighed, "Cece, I'm just telling the truth, I hope you can understand. ”

I snorted.

He lowered his eyes and finally said, "What my mother means is that with my father's obstruction, and the wedding date is imminent, even if we like each other, I will definitely not be able to marry you." He swallowed, his words becoming more and more difficult, "I have been told since I was a child that in the future, I must marry a Muslim and be Emirati, and have sex with other 'women' and 'sex', preferably without even the slightest contact." But...... If I have already married a traditional Muslim, it is not impossible to go around for a while before welcoming you to the 'door'......"

He raised his head, his eyes helpless and deep, and his throat choked: "Cece, if I hadn't married a Muslim first, we wouldn't have been able to do it anyway. Therefore, in this marriage, whether we can get together in the future or not, I must get married first......"

I was stunned, and after a moment, I smiled dumbly and asked him, "So, you are marrying someone else, essentially to fight for happiness between me and you?"

My heart clenched into a ball, as if wrapped in a whistling sound in all directions, and my meager hopes and hopes were gradually squeezed out in his words, and turned into a silent mess of mud, paralyzed in the moment of heartbreak.

And at my question, Moses nodded gently, gently.

How ridiculous, how ridiculous, that my friendship with him should be fulfilled by his marriage to someone else. I suddenly remembered that in ancient China, if you were a wife, you would have to be the right person in the house, and you would pass on your bloodline; And I am in the modern age of civilization, and I really don't know what it is like to encounter such a thing.

It's hard to breathe, and there's no place in my body that isn't shouting. I 'licked' the bitterness off my 'lips' and forced a smile: "You mean that if I work hard, I may still be allowed to be your second wife?"

Musa probably felt that I had been moved, and his eyes were quite sincere: "Cece, there is no distinction between the eldest wife and the second wife, you will be equal." ”

"Equality?" I said, a hypocritical look of anticipation.

"Yes, equally, absolutely. When he said the word "absolutely," he said it in a firm tone, like a solemn promise, "At least on the surface, you are absolutely equal." If you can't be treated fairly, you have the right to go to court and file a lawsuit. ”

"Yes, there's legal protection. "The brighter my smile is, the more sad I feel. Not for me, but for Mosa. I looked at him with bright eyes, not giving him the slightest chance to escape, "So, what about the love you give?

Moussa was stunned.

He tightened his hand on the edge of the sofa, thought for a while, and only smiled bitterly and said vaguely: "She and I have only met a few times, accompanied by my parents." ”

Is this tactfully telling me that the friendship between me and Moses is deeper?

I blinked and smiled at the fact: "But you and I haven't met a few times, and most of them are accompanied by Ayub." ”

Hearing this, Moussa was a little anxious and hurriedly explained: "Cece, this is different. I ......" he hesitated, intermittently, and didn't know where to start for a while, only biting his 'lip', and unconsciously repeated, "It's really different." ”

Seeing him like this, I was a little annoyed, shook my arm, and scolded: "Enough!" The smile on his face immediately put away, and he didn't even want to 'waste' any more hypocritical politeness, I sneered coldly, and the 'yin' cold breath filled my whole body, "You don't have to say so much in vain, I didn't want to be with you at all." ”

Musa was stunned, looking at my uncertain expression at a loss, and suddenly choked up: "Cece, I ......"

"Alright!" I interrupted him again, holding my anger and asking one by one, "Moussa, think about it, what exactly happened between us? Isn't it just a few 'kisses' that are 'confused' and 'obsessed'? How can you just talk about marriage and marriage, as if we have reached the point of inseparability? This is just an impulse, you don't have to pay such a big price for it, and I will never give up my self for you!"

The air fell silent for a moment.

I let out a long breath. At last, everything was spoken, in the way I least wanted – what I feared most was Moses's irresponsible impulse to attribute everything to us, and now I had chosen to do so myself.

It's better to hurt someone than to be hurt by someone. But why did my heart ache like a hole had been pierced, and all the wind poured out of it, and the spine was bitterly cold.

He looked at me with a pained gaze, his eyes bloodshot and his lips cracked slightly from dryness. Time and space are so long, he looks at me like this, sad and painful. Suddenly, he shook his head: "Cece, I don't think it's an impulse. ”

My heart pounded, and it was an answer I hadn't thought of at all.

"On the night of the sandstorm, I didn't want to be 'confused', I knew very well what I was doing. The darkness and enclosed environment were indeed the catalyst, but in fact, even if it hadn't been that night, I would have been attracted to you. ”

His eyes were sincere and serious, and he continued, "Before I met you, I didn't have a very good opinion of Chinese, but you always surprised me. Sometimes, I feel ashamed to see how beautiful and excellent you are. I always wondered, why wasn't such a beautiful 'girl' a Muslim? I had always lived a worry-free life, and I didn't think it was a big deal to get married, and after meeting Ayyub's sister a few times, I got engaged very quickly. The marriage between us was purely a family arrangement, and there was no emotion to speak of. I thought that life was like this, everything was carefree, there was no salt and no taste, you may take everything as an impulse, but I really like you. Only you can make me feel pleasure from the inside out, and I am true to seeing you shiver as you hug me because of the sandstorm...... Very exciting. ”

He finished the long series of words almost with bated breath, and when he finished speaking, he gasped urgently, as if the words had 'spent' all his strength.

I stood there in a daze, lifted my lip, and didn't say anything after all. His words full of helplessness and affection polished all my sharp edges and corners. His heart was surging, but his hands and feet were completely at a loss, only hanging with a sour nose, looking at him blankly.

Now, we've been brewing what we're going to say to each other, and we're done. Between us, what is left?

I couldn't tell whether it was helplessness or bitterness, but after a long time, Mosa sighed heavily again and muttered, "Perhaps, you are right." I can't give you much, and you're so good, you won't swallow your anger for me. I understand, and I understand, that we can only go so far, and that we can only go so far. His throat choked, suddenly lost, his thoughts drifted somewhere, his eyes lowered, and a lost murmur floated, "Anyway, I'm just ...... It's just an impulse on your part. ”

No, you're not! I screamed in my heart, but I couldn't make a sound. I could only watch him get up from the couch, watch him walk out of the living room, watch him unlock the 'door', and then turn his head to me and say, "Cece, I'm sorry." ”

"Bang-" and silence returned to the room.

I slumped on the couch, my eyes heavy and unfocused. In a trance, he swept to an apple in the basket and mechanically took a knife to peel it. But halfway through the peel, the skin of the apple broke. Tears burst out of my eyes, and I froze. It's not cutting an onion, it's just an apple, and it makes me cry. I was still crying when I ate the apple. In the interval between chewing apples, there was the sound of tears dripping onto the skin. I snuggled up on the couch, eating and crying, the sweet fruity aroma mixed with the salty tears, like my broken heart.