Thanks to tens of thousands of friends for their long-term companionship, I have been writing something every night for more than half a year, and confiding in you some of my feelings in life. For 200 days, I have been in the hospital every day to accompany patients, lost, sad, and irritable, not only in the present, but also in the future!

When I was half a month, I felt uncomfortable and depressed for the first time, and I told myself every day that I needed to be strong, and no matter how uncomfortable I was, I had to smile on the surface.

A month and a half ago, I saw an uncle crying loudly in the park, how did a good child become like this? His son has been in the hospital for more than half a year! Hiding not far away, he looked at it in a daze, what will happen to my own future? Life has once again produced a feeling of self-denial. In the bright spring, there is a creepy feeling!

Yes! I was in a bad mood, tired, and in my health, I had a fever in the spring days, and I walked out of the hospital with my hands on the wall, and I felt that the short, usually less than five minutes away, was endless! The world under the bright sun seemed to have turned black, white, and gray! For a moment, I really wished that my life would end here! It was really unbearable!

At the time of two and a half months, the child's condition had stabilized, but there was still no improvement! In the hospital, I had already met many friends, family members who accompanied me, and many normal patients after all, and exchanged ideas with each other about their experiences in these days! Everyone looked hard and optimistic, although they were bitter in their hearts!

The Irritable Patient is almost a powder bag that explodes at any moment, and at some point, a tiny thing will set her on fire. Maybe she will be like a tigress crazy to vent, scolding people without listening to it, that is the lightest, rushing up and fighting and killing people, desperate regardless of the consequences, not to mention that the women feel terrified, even the men who accompany them are also very afraid!

The melancholy type keeps telling others.

"Somebody's going to hurt me! Somebody's going to hurt me!"

"Someone is stalking me, someone is scolding me!"

"Do you have a knife?

……

Sometimes they say it to a wall, some to the air, and sometimes they have to talk to someone.

The days of sadness and depression always pass very slowly! Hour by hour slowly! Ignore them, stick to your normal world, don't be kind! If you are too kind, you will be fooled into their world, if you can't get out......

It is said that the medical staff here will work here for a long time, and it will become less normal!

After three months, I couldn't stand it anymore and began to selectively chat with patients and family members who looked more normal!

Some people may wonder why they should talk to the patient and not to the patient's family.

That's because many of the patients' family members here have more serious psychological problems than the patients! It's just that they don't have the initiative to treat them! On the contrary, there are some patients who don't feel good and come in on their own initiative, but they choose to solve their problems as soon as possible!

In fact, many of the people here are very smart women, key undergraduates are nothing, there are several graduate students, and it is not a strange situation for Peking University and Tsinghua University, there are civil servants, teachers, and even some doctors! Chatting with them is actually a kind of openness to yourself!

On the surface, it seems that I have completely thought about it, but the sleep time every night has become less and less, and the quality has become worse and worse! Stomach pain has been every day, just get used to it, headache is also from time to time, when I feel particularly bad, I measured my blood pressure, high pressure 150, low blood pressure 100. Family members will occasionally come to see us, after a moment of mutual encouragement, the best thing to do is still to be alone! No need to complain, in fact, everyone has to maintain their own lives, occasionally inviting you to dinner is already their statement, no regrets may only be paid by parents! Relying on yourself is the most fundamental!

It's been five months, and every morning I get up by habit, go home by habit, and from time to time I have to think, why didn't I let myself encounter so many accidents every day? Maybe I can get out of the sea of suffering with just one moment!

In the confusion of persistence, suddenly one day, the child suddenly scolded me angrily, "Are you a nervous disorder? Why can't you understand people?"

How long has it been since I've heard the child speak sharply? Even though he was scolding me, why did it sound so good?

"Say it again?"

"There's something wrong with the neuropathy!"

She continued to curse with some disapproval.

I couldn't help but cry, the moment I had been waiting for for so many hard days finally came!

Walking alone to the end of the corridor and looking at the scenery in the distance, I finally waited for hope on a rainy day! The pain and itching of my fingers seemed to be good, at least let me know that it was true!

Keep up the good work!

However, I am not an iron man, and when I was about to reach six months, I began to have insomnia, before I only had less sleep, but at least I could guarantee more than four hours of rest a day, but now I don't even have three hours! I was in an unmental state all day, and I forced myself to eat, and my face gradually began to turn black, and my eyes were full of bloodshot red silk.

When he was about to fall, the child's illness gradually began to improve!

After two weeks, I was finally able to be discharged from the hospital with my baby!

On a hot summer afternoon, we slept until the next day......

When I woke up, the child was still snuggled in my arms, and she stared with wide eyes, quietly not saying a word!

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