I haven't updated it for almost three days, and there are actually a lot of reasons. There is something in real life, and it hurts to overdo it...... But I didn't write a leave note because I don't think that's the main reason.

I couldn't have been upset for the past two days. I was very anxious every minute and every second, and I couldn't calm down to code words. I sat in front of my computer for a long time in the middle of the night, but I still didn't write anything.

If the problem is attributed to me, then it is a "big uncle". But I think there's a reason for it.

Recently, I met some classmates and friends, and chatted about the current situation and the future together, and it is inevitable that there will be a lot of emotion in my heart. At this stage, you will experience it once every time you have a holiday, which is actually a common thing.

The summer vacation was a real blow, and it even made me doubt my life a little. This time it was a small emotion at best, and there was no direct pressure. But it is this kind of bland feedback that is a bit more heart-wrenching.

It's not a distress that can be poured out, but a sense of powerlessness that can't be followed. Because the foreseeable things are really happening. There is no point in resisting.

The end of a certain stage of life is probably like this. It's just that the end of the college entrance examination felt a relief at the time, but now it is a kind of confusion.

These emotions gave me a new sense of life, so when I look back at what I wrote. Inevitably, I got tangled up again.

The story I chose was too big, really too hard to navigate. Life is so complicated, and the characters I write are too one-sided. At best, it can only write an outline, and the inside is still very empty.

I've also said before that I'm not afraid of readers saying that I'm not good at writing. Because that kind of criticism is more like motivation, I will try to write better. But if I don't think I'm writing well, this question is a bit tricky.

Because it's not like you can change it. Due to my experience and age, it is difficult to improve in a short period of time. The most important thing is that it is difficult for me to convince myself to ignore these questions and continue to write blindly. Not to mention the ambitious additions.

But I'm really looking forward to the rest of the story, and I've thought of a lot of interesting things and want to write them all vividly. If I can express it in a way that is out of the question, the quality of the book should be certified.

I still believe that. That's why I often have a tug-of-war in my mind. Hesitation and anticipation consume each other, and the result is also a mutual victory or defeat.

But I never thought about eunuchs, and the book still had to be written.

Recently, I have been making up "Three Hours and Three Meals", and I often poison myself in the middle of the night. I found that my resistance to food was not bad, and there was basically no time when I couldn't help but eat. It's quite similar to the setting I gave the main character.

I recommend everyone to watch this variety show, because I have a lot of impressions. It will definitely be written into the book in the future, and there will be no less scenes.

Maybe it's because of the main creators, I know a little about them before. Through this extremely real variety show, a channel was opened for me again, allowing me to get a glimpse of the essence of the artist.

Those artists who are not popular idols, in other words, most of the people in the entertainment industry. What kind of life do they live, and what is their attitude towards their work and career? There's really a lot to be intrigued about.

Everyone is actually an ordinary person, and artists are just working. Entertainers also have their own lives, and they are more eager to fade away from the pretense of truth. Although I have understood this truth before, I don't seem to have such a clear understanding.

Thinking about my setting for the main character, I feel that it needs to be improved. Intensify or dilute certain ideas to make his personality more unified.

To put it bluntly, I don't think he is a real person, aside from the external conditions such as background and ability, his personality is too perfect. And I don't want that perfection.

The core idea I want to express, the atmosphere created in the ending. The protagonist needs to be a real person, and perfection will make the previous foreshadowing a joke. Perfection has no point in existing, because there is no other possibility after that.

The possibilities of real life are endless, and every decision counts. If there was a time machine to go back in time, maybe it was just a small thing that we wanted to change. But the far-reaching impact of that event will indirectly make a difference in our whole life.

If I don't show this characteristic, then I think my book has failed. If you already know what is going on, why waste time writing about it?

This is different from forcibly joining the twist, which is a sudden change. There aren't so many ups and downs in life, and I don't like it and don't think I need it. What I want to add is more possibilities.

It's not who the heroine is, what she eats at night, and what works she takes...... This possibility. It's closer to everyday life, and a lot of decisions that seem to be ordinary.

Although from the perspective of writing, if there is a later text, it is foreshadowing, and there is no need to write without a later text. But my point in writing fiction is that there is no need to have existential value. Even if the plot has nothing to do with the main story, as long as it can create an artistic conception, it is worth the effort to write.

However, it can be expected that this kind of writing is very unrealistic. My book uses a lot of unrealistic writing, which is probably a taboo that mainstream authors will never touch. After all, I'm not writing this book for grades, so let me squander it to my heart's content.

When I adjust my thinking, the updates should be stable by the Spring Festival. While I have a steady amount of time, I hope I can write a few more chapters. You know, updating has become a habit. If I hadn't written it one day, I'd still feel awkward. It doesn't make me feel easy, and I'm also very tormented.

I'll keep writing later, maybe in the middle of the night. But you'd better go to bed early and come back tomorrow.