Well, I communicated with the editor before, and it was set to be released on the 9th of this month.

A little excited, but also a little ashamed.

Although the total number of words seems to be a lot, Ice Fields also knows that its renewal status is quite pitfall.

I can't say anything if I ask for a subscription!

I've chased a lot of novels, and I see if everyone has written testimonials before they hit the shelves.

I also want to sigh with emotion.

First of all, this book was written on February 15, 2013, to put it mildly, when it was first written, the baby's update was still very reliable, at that time, most of the days could insist on at least two chapters of 4000 words, 2000 guaranteed, and sometimes you can play one more chapter to save some drafts.

Now in February 2018

Σ(っ°Д°;) It's been five years——! yes!

Something happened at that time that prompted Bingyuan to write this book, connecting all the scenes that appeared in dreams and fantasies into a story.

At that time, Bingyuan's mood was quite bad, and the whole person seemed a little crazy, caught in the constant denial of the self, hovering on the verge of collapse, and trying to hold on to not let people see the clues, and listen to some innocuous sympathy and comforting words.

What do I understand, I understand......

Bingyuan still believes in that sentence: Zifei fish knows the joy of fish!

Thou shalt not know my heart!

Those words of persuasion or admonition out of kindness touched the heartstrings of the ice again and again.

In the past many years, it can be said that Bingyuan has grown up according to the way his parents and teachers like, well-behaved, obedient, not resistant, and a good child who is standard in the eyes of others.

In fact, when I was younger, Bingyuan was still a little naughty, but at the first intersection of growing up, I knew that there are some things even if you have never done it, but if it is compared with the good children in the eyes of parents and teachers, it must be that you did something wrong, not necessarily sincerely, but it must be something you did unintentionally.

Ahh

In the planning of your parents or teachers, in your imagination of the future when you were young, when you are asked, what do you want to do when you grow up?

Most of the answers we're answering: teachers, scientists, policemen, doctors, and maybe announcers......

But writers, especially writers who write stories, especially those that affect learning in the eyes of adults, never seem to be in our mouths or in their plans.

I don't know if I was fighting or proving it, but the indescribable complex emotions weaved into a silk net that enveloped a soul on the verge of collapse and connected her to words.

Bingyuan doesn't keep a diary, so he always feels that the last trace of his own space will be seen by others, and there is no space for freedom.

At that time, I was especially looking forward to the night, because even if it was a nightmare, I could indulge my mind in my dreams.

Although I am an imperfect work for some people, there are always things in me that make them feel unsatisfactory and need to be improved.

But I also wanted to have my own color.

Repeated self-denial, when I was about to completely abandon myself like this and rise to the idea of burying myself, suddenly I thought, since I am not liked by them, then why don't I be a self that I like myself?

At that time, the idea was extreme and biased.

However, I do want to break free from the label.

When I mentioned my first impression, it was a good boy, well-behaved and polite.

Actually, Icefield doesn't want to be a good boy.

A good child lives too depressed, and sometimes I have to think about whether it will affect others before I cry, but the environment has made me a good boy and suppresses all rebellion, and gradually even the talent that belongs to the child to cry when he says he cries is lost.

But the text is different, it can easily affect my emotions, joys and sorrows......

Breaking free from the label, it's not that Bingyuan is going to do something like smoking, drinking, and not returning home at night, I hate the smell of smoke!!

It's about doing something that they don't look down on or even gently warn about, like writing a story.

Bingyuan wants the story that plays out in my mind to be known by more people, and I want those who live in the world that I know alone to be remembered by more people.

So Bingyuan's hand tapped on the keyboard, and strings of text fell on the screen, from the two-finger Zen that used to stare at the keyboard to the blind typing now.

The process of Shiso's growth is also the process of Bingyuan's continuous correction of himself, caring too much about the approval of others, and taking the approval of others as proof of his own existence is too tiring and stupid.

If you don't recognize yourself and don't like yourself, no matter how much others say, a person who doesn't even exist is just a brilliant bubble in the sun.

After all, life is a business for many people, and how to live and how to live is more of your own business.

Some readers said that the image of Shisu is getting more and more perfect, and this is not because Bingyuan is constantly breaking away from the shackles of the past, and the first text is always too ingenious to read, and there is a hidden depression and indignation, deliberately setting a template for the character and not wanting him to go beyond it.

But they have souls, and they forcibly fix all kinds of characters into a posture, so they will naturally have an obscure and awkward personality.

Who said that the boss wouldn't scold the street when he was angry?

Since I was a child, I have been writing essays on characters hard, and when I first started writing, I referred to the description styles of some other authors on characters, and added labels to the templates for character drawing.

It feels like raising children, and I think it's good for them but I almost raised it crookedly (such as Bingyuan, Bingyuan's parents are really for the good of Bingyuan, but Bingyuan's temperament is not strong enough and not confident enough, so some overkill almost collapsed)

O(∩_∩)O haha~

Fortunately, the current shiso is not annoying, and the ice field has not really collapsed.

During those years, thanks to everyone's love, because of this, there is now an ice field that does not deliberately suppress itself for the recognition of others.

Of course, Bingyuan is still a good kid overall, but it's perfectly okay for girls to be willful sometimes, right?

Like what......

update

For example......

update