Comrade Jia Yuhao:

I know you've been following me all the time, watching everything I've done. Pen × fun × Pavilion www. ｂｉｑｕｇｅ。 info yes?

In the dream, you angrily reproached, took my hand and wouldn't let me go, the rice was not cooked, the food was not cooked, I knew you were expressing your opinion, you were preventing me from taking a step forward, and the sudden trip was also your doing, if not, why was it so coincidental? What are you trying to do with all this effort? Are you stopping me from doing this time, or are you stopping me from doing similar things in the future?

Actually, I understand your intentions. Calm down, I also know that I should live this life quietly and comfortably alone, keeping your love and your pain, and relying on the good things we had before to continue the life I am still alive with. With just a few decades of life, is it time to understand it and calmly face the current situation?

I was also thinking: maybe you are not careful, you are trying to protect me from being hurt, you know that my heart is so fragile and crystal clear, don't you? After all, people have a lot of stasis, and you are worried that I will be hurt unnecessarily if I am simple, right? You also know that coping with life is more than enough for me, and I am fully capable of the burden of life, right?

In fact, I have long been accustomed to living without you, but there is one less person who says some selfish things, but there is one less person who asks for warmth when I am sick, painful, sad and fragile, if I can't find a person who has the same heart and soul and sympathizes with each other, and I can't find someone who understands me like you, it's still not worth it to have more to do with and be burdensome, isn't it? The question is that I have already said that in this world, there is no second soul mate like you to accompany me for the rest of my life, and there is no one like you who treats me well, even my mother is not as loving and pampered as you are to me, can I expect others?

Maybe it's doomed, without you, I have to walk through this lonely life alone. You know where I am, what I'm doing, my heart, my soul, I can't let go of you. I can't let go of it in this life!

Mom said that you owed me in the last life and will pay it back in this life, so you are infinitely good to me just to pay off what you owe quickly and leave. I don't think so! I must have made a mistake, I must have owed you a lot, and then you came to collect the debt, and you were very kind to me, and then you left me to suffer all the torture of my soul in this world! In this case, I must have been your enemy in the previous life, and you came to take revenge in this life, so that I was tortured in this world. But my heart would rather keep your good and shut up, and no matter what happens, my heart is always stubbornly guarding and refusing to come out. This is the cage you have woven for me, I have trapped myself in it and let my brain "toss" as you call it, my heart has been locked in by you.

All love and hate are vain to me, what I have now is a safe and calm heart, whether you have taken revenge to poison my life, or to repay debts and ruined my life, to you: the goal has been achieved! And maybe our grievances in several lifetimes should also be settled, whether we meet in the next life or not, I hope we can have a happy and happy life.

In this life, you should let go, no matter what I do, you should know it, I am just living this boring life. As a person, living in society, I had to adapt, didn't I?

Alas, this life has been ruined by you like this, but I can't give birth to resentment towards you.

XW

2013.11.29