Comrade Jia Yuhao:

It's been three years, and you've abandoned me for three whole years!

For more than three years, I spent more than a thousand days and nights alone in sorrow, and my wounds fermented and grew stronger day by day, drowning out all the sunshine!

Every minute and every second is spent thinking about your pain!

A lot of people say: it's been so many years!

Yet, for me, you slept yesterday by my pillow whispering, smiling, hugging. Pen Fun Pavilion www.biquge.info are you really ignoring my boundless sorrow and abandoning me in the world?

I remember every moment I spent with you, every look in my heart was clear, I missed you! I thought I was like a dead corpse, my heart was like mud! I was lifeless and lifeless everywhere!

How many dark nights have you cried all your tears!

I often think that if I can go with you, it may be a relief, but what about the child? I can't let go of not only the thoughts of you, but also the responsibility you have left me that I can't escape. I mourn all day long, and I will continue this hopeless and endless life. What kind of heart-wrenching should I be, and you won't have any more shackles for me and my children.

I remember the sunny face when I saw you for the first time, the feeling of heartbeat is still there at this moment, your fair and beautiful hands and your forever smiling expression......

It's still in front of you, and you've forgotten your promise and never looked back!

Although I am resisting everything you do, every day when I offer incense, I pray that the Bodhisattva will bless you from the sea of suffering and be born into bliss as soon as possible. Even if I bear all the suffering, I am willing! For you, I am willing to do anything!

Every day I pay tribute to you with my heart, I pray for you every day, no matter how much suffering I have to bear, I pray that you can get out of the sea of suffering and never suffer again, I pray that I will bear all the guilt, and I will bear the guilt of the past and this life!

Tell yourself not to cry today.

But the tears are as unkept as you are, and they are as unrelenting as you are, and you have cut off all my thoughts and hopes!

That time, I got food poisoning after eating green beans that you didn't cook, and your face full of anxiety and self-blame was in front of my eyes.

That time, I was hit and injured by a tricycle driving in the wrong direction while I got off work, and your worries were all over my face and in front of my eyes.

That time, my sister was sick and I was restless, and your generous chest carried all my panic and anxiety.

Every month's menstrual period has your careful care, you take care of me so carefully, like caring for a newborn baby, careful, full of joy, full of love!

You have given me such perfect love, but you have gone so resolutely, leaving me alone with this boundless pain!

Lingering in the world, slowly living this boring day, and accompanying the children to grow up slowly, everything has no meaning and attraction for me!

The worries and ardent expectations of my elderly parents, the urging of relatives and friends, and the growth of my children, I once wanted to let myself out, but no one can understand how deep my sorrow is, no matter what the future holds, I may not be able to get out of the cage you left behind for the rest of my life.

I can only adapt to this increasingly worldly society like a soulless shell.

My spiritual home has long been deserted with your departure! But the obsession in my heart still does not change, if I can't find someone who can communicate with my heart, I would rather die alone than fall into clichés.

Others are asking for a house, a car, and something tangible, but I am still pursuing the same original intention in my heart: heart-to-heart.

But this is so difficult in this impetuous and materialistic reality! I know how slim hope is! But in order to give a positive attitude to all those who love me, maybe I can give myself a little chance, maybe God will favor me again? Close this door and open that window?

The first time I heard "rather lack than abuse" came out of your mouth! I know that you have been waiting for the true and pure love in your heart for five years in college, until I appeared.

Our love at first sight has made our perfect love for more than ten years! I thought that our love could accompany us until we were old, and then sat in a rocking chair and chatted slowly, not wanting you to leave me halfway and go alone! I looked up at the sky countless times and asked the sky: Why? Why? Why did you treat us like this?

There has never been a trace of bad intentions, no trace of evil thoughts, and I am full of gratitude for God's gifts!

But why should you suffer such a torture of the heart?! Even if you don't have it, you won't be so miserable!

What kind of bad and evil deeds did I do in my previous life? So that I can't be reborn in this hopeless place? The torment of the eighteen layers of hell is nothing more than that, right?

Tomorrow is the day of your death, and I will honor you with my broken heart! I will honor you with my soul, which is long dead, and I will sacrifice you with all my heart's sorrow and pain! I will sacrifice you with everything I can give you!

I am willing to turn all the water in my body into tears that miss you to pay tribute to you! to nourish your soul! If I can, I am willing to exchange the rest of my life for your safety!

"You said that you know the small end of life, so I made this growth and show you; you said that no matter how lively it is, it will eventually need to be separated, so I will do this life to see with you; you say that you know the warmth and cold, I will do this winter flowers and summer snow to see with you; you say that you are in love with the good old days, I will make this ukiyo-e painting depicting gold embroidered phoenixes and show you; you say that you should be sad that the high place is not cold, I will give up the rivers and mountains to please you. ”

And you don't want everything I've done after all, you have abandoned it!

In this way, I will be alone and take care of myself!

XW

2013.6.3