When the words "breast cancer" appeared in front of my eyes, my heart trembled violently, my scalp tingled for a while, I kept swallowing saliva, and my hand holding the medical record began to tremble.

Until the medical record slipped out of my hand, my whole body was still shaking, and my breathing became more and more rapid, as if the air around me had suddenly become thinner.

My brain went blank until Song Qingshan's voice sounded: "Xiang Nan, we didn't mean to hide it from you, it's my sister...... She won't let us tell you that she, he's afraid you'll be upset......"

I was still stunned, unable to hear anything at all, only the "buzzing" in my ears.

Then An Zheng came to me, reached out and patted me on the shoulder, but did not speak.

I shoved him away and snarled at him, "What do you mean...... What does that mean? Answer me! What does that mean......"

An Zheng looked embarrassed, I rushed over and grabbed his collar with both hands, and roared at him with red eyes and spittle: "Talk! What does this mean?"

An Zheng still didn't speak, he let me grab his collar, and the whole person was like an eggplant beaten by frost.

"She's dead, my sister is dead......"

Song Qingshan's sudden burst of words was like a sharp knife straight to the heart, I suddenly felt a pain in my heart, my hands weakly let go of An Zheng, and the whole person seemed to have been pulled out of his muscles and bones, and fell softly on the floor.

"Brother Xiang, Brother Xiang...... Are you okay? You get up, you have to cheer up......" An Zheng immediately reached out to pull me.

I couldn't hear anything at all, and the phrase "she's dead" was like a thunderbolt, and tears immediately burst out......

An Zheng immediately hugged me tightly, he was afraid that I would lose control of my emotions and do stupid things.

But he was too worried, because I was completely angry now, and I couldn't have the extra strength to do stupid things.

I don't believe it, I can't believe it......

A person I used to love the most, a beautiful woman in the prime of life, that's it...... Sentenced to death by cancer?

It seemed that it was a long time before I could hear some voices from the outside world in my ears, I heard Ann shouting at me, and I heard Song Qingshan's crying from the hospital bed.

I grabbed An Zheng's shoulders again and asked him, "You tell me, it's not true, it's you guys kidding me, you still want to lie to me, don't you?"

An Zheng shook his head in despair and said, "Brother Xiang, no, we didn't lie to you...... She's really dead, actually...... I didn't know until ......"

"Liar, you two liars, big liars!......" I grabbed An Zheng's shoulders with both hands and shook him vigorously.

An Zheng said to me again: "Do you remember the last time we went to Song Qingyi's house together to find the clues left by her? That medical record is what Shanshan and I found in her study...... We called you, but we thought we wouldn't tell you yet......"

"Liar......!" I still couldn't hear anything, and I still howled at him.

Finally I was hoarse, and I fell to the floor again, sleeping on the floor like a dead fish.

I really can't believe it's true, why is that happening? How could she die?

She's dead! means she's gone into this world forever, how could it be?

I was clutching at my hair as if my scalp was about to be torn off by myself, and I couldn't believe it, I couldn't imagine it......

I began to recall everything I had with her over and over again, and in those fragmented memories, I found a few fragments.

At the beginning, I met Song Qingyi several times in the hospital, and the deepest impression was that I went to the obstetrics and gynecology department for an examination that time, I met her in the obstetrics and gynecology department, I was joking with her at the time, she said she had a cold, and I was still wondering how she could come to the obstetrics and gynecology department when she had a cold?

Why didn't I ask her more at that time? Why didn't I think she started lying to me at that time?

I grabbed the medical record on the floor again, and the date of diagnosis on it was half a year ago, which meant that she had suffered from this disease a long time ago.

It turned out that there was a reason why she never agreed to be my girlfriend, but later when she was in Paris, she agreed to me, maybe she didn't want me to be sad anymore.

I remember what she said to me at the time, she said I would regret it, and she also said that if she left me one day, tell me not to be sad and not to be sad.

It turned out that she was lying to me about all this, and she never told me the truth of the matter!

At this moment I was really about to break down, and my tears poured out like a, blurring my vision......

I've never felt so heartbroken, even on the day my mom died, I wasn't so embarrassed, because I was still young at the time, and even if I was sad, it was just for a moment.

I've always considered myself an optimistic person, but I guess from this moment on, I won't be optimistic anymore.

I don't know how long it took before I was willing to accept this cold reality, I stood up with trembling feet in the chair next to me, stared at Song Qingshan on the hospital bed with empty eyes, and asked in a trembling voice, "When will she ...... Deceased ......"

Song Qingshan shook her head, her eyes were also hazy with tears, and her lower lip had been bitten white by herself.

An Zheng echoed and said: "Brother Xiang, we don't know exactly when she died, and I only found out a week ago...... Shanshan didn't know that she did come back, but not her, but ...... Instead, her ashes were returned. ”

I felt the pain of the sky falling apart again, the feeling of life and death, like another iron tong actually clamping my heart, and my chest hurt so much that I couldn't breathe...... Such as a fish in the throat.

My whole body trembled, tears overflowed from my eyes like a flood that burst the embankment, I couldn't cry, tears and snot flowed down together.

It all came so fast that I couldn't accept the reality at all, I hid my face with my hands, and I couldn't help myself.

In this sad mood, An Zheng and Song Qingshan didn't comfort me anymore. In fact, the person who really needs comfort is Song Qingshan, she is Song Qingyi's own sister, and now the child in her belly is about to be born, and her sister who loves so much has left her.

After a long, long time, I finally raised my hand to wipe away my tears, and asked in a pale voice, "Do you know where she is buried?"

An Zheng looked at me and nodded, then told me about the cemetery, and without a moment of hesitation, I jerked him away and stumbled out.

I only heard An Zheng shouting at me from behind: "Brother Xiang, you wait for me, I'll drive you there." ”

I can't remember how I ran down the hospital building, I could only feel my world turn gray at that moment, and everything in my sight was black, white and gray.