Xiaozhi didn't wake up until the evening, and Chang An put on a sterilization suit to see her as soon as possible.

Nearly eight hours of major surgery, for a five or six-year-old child undoubtedly walked through the ghost door, although he had woken up at this time, he was confused, and he had no strength, and his little face covered with an oxygen mask was even more bloodless and frighteningly white.

Chang An rubbed the sweat-soaked hair on her forehead and held her hand through disposable gloves.

"Xiao Zhi?"

The little girl's eyelids trembled slightly, and her gaze slowly opened a gap.

"An An... An An's mother..."The voice is as low as a mosquito and fly, and it seems that it is difficult to spit out one more word.

Chang An couldn't hear clearly, so he had to lean over and put his ear to her mouth.

"I'm here, how does it feel, does the knife wound hurt?"

The child probably didn't know what the knife meant, and muttered, "It hurts... Belly...... Stomach ache ......"

Chang An let out a deep breath.

The body was cut open for such a long time, and now that the anesthetic has passed, how can it not hurt.

Chang An squeezed her hand, "I know, but you have to bear with it, just endure it, huh?" The last one of her voices was obviously a little hoarse.

Such a young child suffers from this kind of sin, and she often feels at ease, but in front of Xiaozhi, she tries not to show it, so she can only endure it by herself.

Zhou Wei didn't go in, standing in the corridor and waiting.

There was no curtain on the window of the intensive care ward, he watched Chang An lean over and put it in the child's ear, he couldn't hear what the two said, but Chang An's expression was really real.

A snow-white ward, with bright lights, a monitor and an oxygen cylinder behind her, she hunched over in front of the bed, sometimes smiling, sometimes whispering, sometimes frowning, there is obvious distress and forbearance between her eyebrows, but she has always controlled her emotions well, and there is a gentle firmness in her eyes, which seems to cover her with a layer of light, so that even if she wears the most ordinary clothes and has light makeup, she can still be dazzling and gorgeous in a specific environment.

Zhou Wei was attracted by this image, and he seemed to suddenly understand why he was obsessed with this woman, so obsessed that he could no longer accept other people in the past three years.

Because Chang An has a certain quality, whether she is poor or rich, decent or down, this trait can make her maintain a gentle and firm heart, not fighting, not grabbing, not hating or angry, not even a trace of resentment and impetuousness.

She is like a flowing cloud, a pool of clear water, and she will be addicted to this kind of person for a long time.

The visiting time of the intensive care unit was only 15 minutes, but Chang An never came out, and the nurse on the workbench waited patiently for a while, probably seeing that Chang An was unconscious, and walked over to remind him.

Xiao Zhi's consciousness was hazy, but she began to cry when she saw the nurse letting Chang An out.

After all, she is just a child, although she has been independent and well-behaved since she was a child, but just after an operation, it is indeed cruel to ask her to lie in this strange environment with a tube inserted in her body against the pain of the wound.

Perhaps psychological fear goes far beyond physical pain.

She spent all her strength desperately grabbing Chang An's hand and refused to let her out.

Chang Anxin was soft, and leaned over to coax her, but the more she coaxed, the more wrong it became, and the child whined and cried.

The nurse was kind to persuade at first, but seeing that the "mother and daughter" didn't let go, she stepped forward to pull Chang An.

"When the time comes, the family members will go out first!"

"But the child is crying..."

"It's normal to cry, I'll coax here, please go out first!"

The nurse obviously restrained her emotions, but she used her strength in her hands, and she forced Xiao Zhi's hand away to pull Chang An aside, this time it was good, Xiao Zhi cried even more, panting one by one, and the white air was on the oxygen mask.

"You wait... You wait, you can't do this!"

Chang An was also in a hurry, bypassing the nurse and going to the bedside.

She obviously heard the child calling for his mother, and told his mother not to leave me.

"She's usually very well-behaved, you let me go and say a few more words to her, just say a few more words......" Chang An forcibly wanted to go to the bedside, and the nurse blocked in the middle.

"I know it's distressing to be a mother, but what's the use of you staying here?"

But Chang An didn't listen, and insisted on coming up, and the nurse in the intensive care ward was probably used to seeing this kind of scene, so she held Chang An with both hands, "It's normal for a child to cry so much, but if you stay here, it will only make her more squeamish, hurry up and go out, I can coax you when you go out, otherwise you will go back and cry badly, and the wound will crack and you will have to get stitches again." ”

Probably this sentence scared Chang An, she paused, and the nurse took the opportunity to rush through and forcibly pushed Chang An out of the intensive care unit.

The door was closed, and the person was shut out, cut off along with the faint cries of the children inside and the voices of the nurses.

Chang An stood there and knocked on the door.

"You let me in!"

"You let me in and talk to her again......"

Zhou Wei stepped forward and hugged her from behind, "It's time to visit, this is the hospital's regulations." ”

Chang An didn't listen and wanted to pull the door.

Zhou Wei had no choice, so he could only drag the person to the side until he reached the window, Chang An couldn't hear the sound inside, but he could see through the glass that the person on the bed seemed to be kicking his legs, although the amplitude was very small, probably not much strength, but the bed shook slightly.

The nurse in front of the bed bent over to talk to the child, and her hands were pressed on her shoulders to prevent her from moving on the bed, although the voice was inaudible, and there was a little anger and impatience in her expression.

Chang An was even more anxious when he saw it.

"Xiaozhi is usually very well-behaved, she usually doesn't do this!"

"She's still a child, she's going to be scared, you know? she's going to be scared, you let go of me and let me in!" Chang An obviously began to get impatient, shaking his hand to break free of Zhou's shackles.

Zhou Yan forcibly pinched her two arms.

"What's the use of you going in!"

"Besides, this is a hospital rule, and it is impossible for you to stay in it with the bed!"

But she was stubborn and struggled to leave.

"Let go of me!"

"I told you to let go, why do you care about me, you don't understand anything at all!"

She gritted her teeth and looked up at Zhou Wei, Zhou Wei saw that her eyes were red, and at that moment she lost her mind, Chang An took the opportunity to break free and ran to the door, Zhou Wei hurriedly caught up.

It was also the first time he had seen Chang An so out of control, hysterical, even regardless of the occasion.

"This is the hospital, can you calm down!"

Zhou Yan couldn't care about it, and forcibly turned the person to face him, clasped her shoulders with both hands, and stared at her with a cold look.

"I know you're distressed, and I know you're worried, but the hospital has hospital regulations, and if you go in, not only will you not be able to help, but it may also cause the child to become infected after surgery, do you want to help her or harm her?"

Zhou Yi reprimanded without the slightest emotion.

He hoped to wake up Chang An, but the people in front of him looked at him with wide eyes, at first there was anger, struggle, and even a strong hatred in his eyes, which gradually piled up, but in a certain second, almost instantly, all the strong emotions collapsed like pavilions.

She looked down at the ground.

"You don't understand..."

"What do you know? You don't understand...... She's still so small, such a small one...... I'm going to leave her there alone......"

"I threw her off...... I'm not a good mother, I'm not deserving... It's worse than death, but I don't even have the courage to go with her......"

She stood there with her head bowed and muttered to herself, her body trembling violently in the slightest shaking.

Zhou Wei gradually heard that something was wrong.

"Chang'an!"

"Chang'an?"

He took a step forward, grabbing her arms the second she was about to fall.

"What are you talking about?"

"Calm down and look at me, huh?"

He supported Chang An's limp body with both hands.

Chang An slowly raised her head, and the lights in the corridor seemed to be poured all over her face.

Zhou Wei saw a pale face, soaked in tears, but she bit her lip alive, looking at the person in front of her with sad and desperate eyes.

At that moment, Zhou Xun was like an initiation.

It's that kid.

They once had a child, but it ended up in the sea with blood before it was formed.

Chang An held on to his breath.

For so many years, she has endured all the hardships and suffered from the white eyes, and it is a miracle that she has survived so far.

She never mentioned the miscarriage of the child to anyone, and even if she met Zhou Wei and came back, she never talked to him about it.

There are all kinds of signs that she may not care, after all, the child has not yet formed when it is aborted, and it is an embryo sac at best.

She didn't have to cry to death for an embryo sac.

But it's wrong, the more she cares about the things, the less deliberate she is, and she always carefully hides them in the deepest depths, including the people she loves, the injuries she suffers, and the things she loses, so she hasn't mentioned it to anyone for so many years, and she has grown that piece of rotten meat into a hidden taboo, but today's Xiaozhi's surgery made the pain in her heart that she had restrained for many years suddenly flooded, as if she had touched a certain switch, and she couldn't stop it when she turned it on.

But what to do?

She couldn't complain, she couldn't hate, she didn't even have a place to complain, she could only carry it herself, endure it, endure it until the end of her clenched teeth, her chest rose and fell violently, and there was an obviously suppressed whimper pressed on her chest, but she didn't dare or wanted to cry a little sound.

Zhou Wei looked at Chang An like this, and his heart was distressed like a huge net, but despite his usual excellent eloquence and thinking, he found it useless at this moment.

It turns out that grief that is too intense can really control all reason.

Doesn't he hurt? Doesn't he hurt? No, on the contrary, he is double, half from the lost child, and half from Chang'an.

"Okay, it's all over... It's all over......" Zhou Wei took the person into his arms.

Chang An still didn't spit out a word in his mouth, but a low roar burst out from between his teeth.

She raised her hand to beat, tap, and her nails went down to the flesh of Zhou Wei's shoulder, and instantly turned into a grumpy and angry kitten, with a body of sharp claws and anger. Zhou Wei didn't feel any pain, and let her tear and vent.

Chang An greeted him like a machine for half a minute, maybe he was tired and sour, and finally grabbed him by the collar and collapsed to the ground.

Zhou Yan grabbed it and used all his strength to circle the person into his arms.

Chang An buried his head in his chest, as if the breath he had held for several years had reached its peak, and with a whoop, a heart-rending cry rushed out of his throat.

"The child is gone..."

"My kids are gone!"

"Zhou, do you know? You still have a lot of options... You can be a surrogate, you can find someone else to give birth to you, but I can't ......"

“… No, that's the only child I've ever had in my life......"

Chang An's cries were mixed with shouts, and every word was like a knife blade cutting into his flesh.

Zhou Wei hugged the person in his arms who was about to faint, feeling her trembling and despair, but he couldn't do anything, he could only use his palms to hold her head as much as possible, hug her back, and let her stick to his arms tighter, tighter, until he felt that her bones were tightened, he buried a heavy kiss on the top of her hair, and finally closed his eyes and fell into despair with her.

……

The two stood in the corridor for a long time, so long that the nurse put Xiaozhi to sleep, and another nurse on night duty came to change shifts.

The movement of people walking back and forth in the hallway pulls people back to reality.

Chang An slowly stood up straight, pushed away a little, Zhou Wei let go, and she stood firm.

The mood began to fall from a peak, and more than ten minutes have passed at this time, which can be regarded as a recovery.

The nurse on the night shift changed her clothes and went in, and the nurse inside came out.

"Haven't left yet?" she walked directly to Chang An, seeing that Chang An's eyes were very red, she knew that she had cried just now, and sighed slightly, "I was really embarrassed just now, and I didn't sincerely want to drive you away, but this is a hospital regulation, and our own work is actually responsible for the patient." ”

Chang An was silent.

Seeing that she didn't seem to make sense, the nurse looked at Zhou Wei again and smiled awkwardly, "You are the child's father, right? Please persuade your wife, this is a sterile ward, and it is easy for family members to stay in it for a long time to increase the chance of infection after surgery, not to mention that it is useless for her to stay inside, so it is still troublesome to cooperate." ”

The nurse's attitude towards Zhou Wei is still good, and what she says is reasonable.

Zhou Yi easily pulled Chang An of the pestle to his side.

"She also feels sorry for the child, and I'm really sorry for causing you trouble just now. ”

Seeing that he seemed to be extremely sensible, the nurse struck while the iron was hot and instilled a few words, after all, Xiaozhi couldn't get out of the intensive care unit for a while, and the nurse was probably a family member with a strong emotional reaction to a headache.

Zhou Xun took them all one by one, and politely said a few words, and finally the nurse left in a tone that was obviously too good to be true.

After that, Chang An sat back in the chair, and the great sorrow and crying just now seemed to be gone.

Zhou Wei didn't speak, and sat with her for a while, until the nurse inside came out to remind her.

"It's already time to visit today, so there's no need for the family to stay here, let's come back tomorrow. ”

Always stay still.

The nurse said, "The child is doing well, and he is already asleep, and we will watch here." ”

Chang An still didn't move.

Zhou Wei sighed slightly, he knew that it was impossible to call her back to sleep today, so he could only coax her in another way.

"Xu Nan said that you didn't eat anything at noon, are you hungry?"

"It's almost eight o'clock, shall I take you downstairs for a bite to eat?"

He asked two questions in a row, but Chang An was always indifferent.

Zhou Wei rubbed his eyebrows, "Chang An, I know you're worried, but it's really pointless to spend here, and the child has just undergone surgery, and the post-recuperation is not a matter of one or two days, if you are so exhausted every day, who will worry about this child in the future?"

"As for what you just said, I'm also sad, but things are already like this, I can't keep torturing myself!"

It's cruel, but it makes a lot of sense.

Chang An stared at his own shadow on the ground, so blurry.

She actually knows in her heart, what cause and effect, what fate, what calamity and destined, she really understands this, and has been using these words to comfort and enlighten herself in the past few years, but some things have become a scar, a disease, which may not be seen or attacked, but once touched, it spreads like a virus, and she can't control it herself.

Forgive her, poison can be stopped, flesh wounds can be raised, even if she faced the nightmare of death back then, she is confident that she can slowly heal over the years, but this child, she has never been able to get by......

"Is there any smoke?" Chang An suddenly turned around and asked.

Zhou Wei paused, "No, but I can buy it for you." ”

"Thank you. ”

"Let's go. ”

“……”

"Otherwise, I won't let you smoke it here. ”

He half connived and half persuaded him, and finally "tricked" Chang An out of the inpatient building.

When the two of them walked out of the hall, they were greeted by a cold wind, and Chang An shivered.

"Cold?"

Zhou Wei opened the front of his coat and opened his arms to naturally wrap the person in his arms.

Chang An didn't refuse, she was really cold, but it was more like she was eager to absorb warmth at this moment, and it was also thanks to her small and thin that she was like a bird, and there was no sense of disobedience at all when she shrunk in Zhou Wei's coat like a bird.

The two walked out of the hospital gate.

The entrance is brightly lit, only one street away, here is the cancer hospital where people die every day, but opposite is a lively shopping mall.

At this time, it was only eight o'clock, and it was the peak period of passenger flow, and the lights were so bright that people's eyes were sour.

Zhou Wei asked, "Why don't you go eat something first?"

Chang An looked at it, and people came and went.

She shook her head: "Not hungry." ”

"You have to eat even if you're not hungry, otherwise where will you have the strength to stay in bed here?"

Zhou Yan is also smart, he knows how to catch her psychology, Xu was touched by this sentence, Chang An thought about it, and agreed.

The two walked into the mall, it was freezing outside, but the heating inside was melting, and it was almost the end of the year, and various merchants and brands had already posted the year-end promotion or New Year's poster decoration, etc., looking at it was a festive feeling.

It's just that the first floor sells jewelry and cosmetics, and there is not much food.

"I remember there's a food court on the top floor of this mall, why don't you go up and have a look?"

Chang An also looked at it and did not object.

The two of them took the escalator up the floor.

The first floor jewelry, cosmetics, and half of the pieces should be shoes, the second floor to the fourth floor is women's clothing, the fifth floor is men's clothing, but after the sixth floor, it is different, and the corner of the elevator is displayed with cartoon puppets, colorful.

This floor sells children's toys and children's clothes, and people come and go, most of them are parents holding children.

It's probably the New Year, and they all come to buy new clothes for their children.

"Chang'an, eat upstairs!"

Zhou Wei saw that her eyes were nostalgic, and she stood still and reminded carefully.

Chang An glanced back at him, "Why don't we go around too?"

Zhou Wei's heart tightened, but he didn't show it on his face.

"Let's go upstairs to eat first, and if you have time to come down, I'll accompany you around." ”

Chang An didn't listen, and pulled Zhou Yan's finger, with a vague pleading in his eyes.

"I'm not hungry, let's go around, I want to buy clothes for Xiaozhi for the New Year. ”

When she said this, Zhou Meng couldn't refuse.

The two went to live in the commodity area, passing by half of the clothes from children to middle children, Chang An stopped and stopped, and went in at each counter to take a look, and finally picked a semi-long pink down jacket, and asked Zhou Xian.

"Is it pretty?"

Zhou Wei didn't understand the child's clothes, and only expressed a pertinent opinion: "It's not bad!"

"Take this one, then?"

She turned around and asked the shopping guide for the size, and it was the first time she bought children's clothes, and she finally got a larger size after learning about it.

The shopping guide said that if the child wears it inappropriately, it can be changed, and Chang An will not be entangled.

After buying clothes, she picked out a pair of jeans and a sweater underneath.

Zhou Wei saw that she really just wanted to help Xiaozhi buy clothes, and his heart was a little relieved.

The salesperson wrapped Chang An's clothes and packed two large bags.

Zhou Wei took the receipt and went to the cashier to pay.

Chang An stood there and waited, and the shopping guide would also look at people, and he would come up when he saw the opportunity: "The spring clothes in our store have also come out, if you don't want to show the baby the spring clothes, you can give you a 20% discount!"

The shopping guide enthusiastically introduced, but Chang An's eyes were attracted by another place.

Diagonally opposite, there was the sound of music, like a lullaby in a music box.

"Is that the baby area?"

The shopping guide was stunned for a moment and replied: "Yes, the mother and baby are over there, as well as the bed and car." ”

Zhou Wei came back after paying, but he didn't find Chang An, and asked the shopping guide, who said that he was busy just now, and he didn't pay attention to where the people went.

Zhou Wei carried two paper bags around the mall, and didn't find anyone for a long time, and was about to touch her mobile phone to call her, but was attracted by a burst of singing.

"The dark sky hangs low, and the bright stars follow each other,

Worms fly, worms fly, who are you missing, the stars in the sky are crying......

The roses on the ground wither, the cold wind blows, the cold wind blows, as long as you accompany me. ”

The song is a very old song, but it is sung by an immature child's voice, and then played through the stereo in the mall, Zhou Wei's heart suddenly trembled, and then he turned around and saw Chang An standing quietly at the door of a mother and baby counter alone.

She was facing away from herself, still wearing the gray coat, which was a little big and looked a little empty on her body.

The two thin legs at the bottom, standing under the light of people coming and going, are surrounded by brightly colored children's clothes, toys, and a row of cribs in front of her, the beds are hung with mosquito nets of different colors, white, pink, blue, lace, cotton and linen, and the bed bells, small fish, small animals, and small stars hanging on the top...... All shapes and shapes, circling in circles, singing lullabies in circles.

Everything seemed so beautiful, warm, happy, representing joy and warmth.

She stood there alone, in that pastel hue......

Zhou Wei suddenly didn't dare to walk over, until the shopping guide in the store came out and asked Chang An enthusiastically: "Do you want to choose a bed for the child?"

"The materials of our brand are all green and environmentally friendly, with absolutely zero formaldehyde and pollution. ”

"Why don't you come in and see ......?"