Comrade Jia Yuhao:

It's been a long time since I slept well, I haven't had a good night's sleep since you left, do you remember that I have always slept well, and you call me "little confused"? I have a lot of dreams every night, it's very messy!

You sometimes come and sometimes you don't, and you just leave with peace of mind? Didn't you say that you couldn't rest assured that Doudou and I were the most relieved? How could you just leave us in such a cruel way? Do you know the feeling of heartbreak and dripping blood?

I think about you every day, every time and space I am full of your information, I can't extricate myself from pain! I thought that I would get better with the passage of time, but now I am more and more unable to control myself, every day I dry the tears accumulated the night before, every day I am sad and cry every day! I even think about what kind of way to go with you! I am not sure if I can find you, I dare not take risks! I am afraid that if I can't find you, I will leave Doudou alone in this world!

Doudou said that I dreamed that you came to the school to find her, and asked her if we blame you? The child is reluctant to blame you! I blame you, I even hate you!

If I could see you, I would love to bite you!

Do you know what kind of pain and torture you have given us? You have ruined my life! You have given me the best, you have made me miss you endlessly, and I can't find a reason not to want you! You have made me suffer so much with you, you have suffered so many grievances for you, you said that you want to compensate me, you said that you want to love me for the rest of my life, and you also said that we will live to be 200 years old...... How can you be untrustworthy? How can you fail me to be good to you for so many years? How can you fail me to give wholeheartedly? How can you be irresponsible? How can you just leave?

Every time I think clearly that I will never see you again, my brain will hurt like electricity! It will go blank! It will hurt so much that I can't breathe and can't think!

I always thought that I could live without the whole world but you, but now I still live with this breath no matter how painful I am!

Teacher Liu said that he had asked the great monks to do a transcendence for you, and I believed it, because you came to tell me, and he said that you have entered the Pure Land! I would rather believe that this is my wish!

You have worked hard all your life, you have worked hard all your life, you are kind and humble, you have saved countless people, you should have a good home!

In this way, you will be free from the red dust forever and will no longer have to suffer the boundless suffering of this samsara!

I'm even glad that we haven't been involved in the world too much for so many years, and we haven't created unnecessary negative karma to have such a relationship with you!

I'm worried that I don't have such a fate to go to the Pure Land, and I can't let go of my parents and Doudou, so I have to live in this world! Although life is worse than death every day! Every day I even hope that an accident can give me a chance to meet you!

But every time I think about Doudou, I want to be strong no matter what! I have to fulfill my responsibilities as a parent!

If you put such a heavy burden on my weak shoulders, how can I afford it? What can I do if I can't hold it? I can only grit my teeth and persevere! Fortunately, Doudou has always been sunny, cheerful, strong, and sensible. Pen, fun, pavilion www. biquge。 infoWe will live well, I will raise Doudou to become a talent, you can do your business with peace of mind!

Oh, and tell you, I found the boy I told you about my first love, he was very nice and kind to me, comforted me, loved me, and cared for me like you!

I don't know whether it was you who arranged it in the dark or God who opened this window for me to redeem my life when he closed the door of yours? I am still awake: reality cannot change anything! I can only go with the flow, and this is what you often say - let it be!

Early in the morning, I ran away from the tears that had accumulated last night.

I've never dared to tell you this, I'm afraid I won't be able to hold on, but now it's okay, I shouldn't shed too many tears today.

Oh, a flower appeared in front of my eyes, foggy, the socket of my left eye hurt badly, and the tinnitus was also severe, but it didn't last long, my weight dropped from 115 to 100!

I can't hear your nagging about eating more, sleeping more, and maintaining more anymore!

I don't do a mask twice a week anymore, I don't take care of my skin, the bags under my eyes have come out, and a layer of inch-long white hair has appeared on my head, which is curly!

I remember the night before you left, you plucked out a few gray hairs for me at my behead's behest of begging! No one plucked them for me now, and I pulled them out that day when I saw them straight up to the sky, and I was too bothered to pay attention to them.

Doudou is very good, just silently thinking about you, saying in the space: Cool night, Zen is calling, it seems to be no different, just less Dad's laughter! I saw the distressed loss of voice and cried bitterly! What about you? Do you still feel sorry for us? You often come back to see us, okay? Look at Doudou!

Oh, by the way, did you see the letter I burned to you yesterday? I'm going to burn it to you today!

Whenever possible, I will write to you and tell you about the affairs of the family, so that you can rest assured.

XW

October 28, 2010