Comrade Jia Yuhao:

It's been a long time since I've written to you. Pen & Fun & Pavilion www.biquge.info

Now that my dreams have basically entered a state of disorder, I know very well that you have gone away and will never come back, and my dreams are no longer the only link between you and me.

The message that you came back with great clarity is gone, and I am just delusional myself.

Every time I have a shadow of you in my dreams, I wonder if you are really still there, whether you are really gone?

No longer knowing that you are no longer there, I will cherish the time we met in our dreams, want to know more about your situation, and eagerly tell you about our current situation.

But every time I see you in my dreams, I have such a clear face, so young and full of life.

After more than five years, I have lost all my beauty, wrinkles have crept up my forehead, my smooth face has become pigmented, and my eyelids have begun to droop a little. I remember once when I went back to my hometown, your mother was very sad to see your loose and droopy eyelids, and she said, "My second son was only a few years old and his eyelids drooped!" I joked that it was because your double eyelids were too flowery, so they drooped down. You don't take it seriously with a smile.

Today, both of you are gone. That time I dreamed that you were together, and I woke up with some comfort, did you always hope that you could be filial to your mother have come true?

I was woken up by the phone last night and didn't fall asleep for a long time, thinking of your mother's illness, I felt guilty because of your family's domineering and strong lack of help. I'm still a person who is not generous enough! In fact, if I think about it, I should have helped you because of the regret that you failed to fulfill your filial piety, but I was ashamed that I didn't do anything because of the excesses of others.

I often think, if you were here, what would we be like? What would you be like?

Now, the loss of your disaster and the erosion of the years have made me lifeless day by day, and everything is not lifted.

Recently, I have been reading the books of the licensed pharmacist examination, hoping that I can pass the exam, one can work part-time and have an extra income, and the other can have something to do to save my thoughts.

I have been sleeping well, forcing myself not to think and sleep peacefully, and I can often sleep peacefully.

Doudou is also very good, after going to high school, his initiative to study has improved, and his health is not bad. It's almost your height. Some time ago, the menstrual cramps were very severe, and after a few months of conditioning, I have healed. It's just that this year I feel that the child is a little afraid of the cold, or maybe the winter in Nanning this year is really rare cold.

We have been in Nanning for more than ten years, and we have not experienced the cold below 5°. At that time, you lived in the talent building, you bought a small charcoal pot, and in winter, you bought charcoal to bake the fire, and you can also use it to soak your feet while boiling water to increase humidity.

First, we went to the exhibition hall together to buy a wooden bucket to soak our feet, and then I bought a smart foot bath, so I don't need to boil hot water.

I remember that at that time, you boiled the water to adjust the water temperature, and urged me to soak my feet with Doudou. Sometimes the three pairs of feet are crowded into the barrel to play, Doudou's little feet are stirring and playing, and the three pairs of feet are fighting and playing.

This year, the temperature in Nanning dropped to 1 °C, and it snowed, and the cold went deeper into the bone marrow! Every day it was raining wet and cold weather, and Doudou wore the red down coat you bought for me in 97, and they all said that it was very cold.

I remember when you bought that down coat and gave it to me.

It was the winter of 1997, I was interning in Baotou for a year, and you were preparing for the graduate school entrance examination in Hoh, when the "Water Margin" TV series was in full swing, and the intern students were crowded into the only dormitory with a TV to watch "Water Margin".

We agreed to take the postgraduate examination together, and you originally planned to take the postgraduate examination in Beijing, but because I wanted to be admitted to the south to experience the picturesque scenery of the water towns in the south of the Yangtze River with the singing of birds and flowers and the spring of the four seasons, you and I were preparing for the postgraduate examination in the south.

That night I was alone in the study room reviewing my homework, and you took the train from Hohhot to Baotou. At that time, there were no mobile phones, there were no telephones in the dormitory, and our communication was only by letter.

I studied hard alone, and from time to time there were shouts from my classmates watching "Water Margin" in the corridor.

Suddenly, the door was pushed open, and I sat with my back to the door so as not to be affected by the classmates who came in and out. At that time, the heating in the dormitory was very warm, and we didn't have to wear much clothes in the study room, dormitory, or hospital department. So I don't feel cold just by wearing a small cotton coat.

When I heard the door open, I didn't turn my head to look, thinking that it was a classmate who took advantage of the break in the TV series to wander around the study room.

I felt someone approaching me and stopped, and I turned my head to find that it was you! I was really stunned! I was completely surprised! I couldn't help but say "ah"!

When I took you back to the dormitory, I was surprised to see you holding a very large package.

While unpacking, you proudly say, "Look at what good things I have brought you?" I think I must have opened my mouth in an 'O' shape.

You said that the postgraduate examination will be held in a few days, the examination room in Baotou is far away from the hospital where we practiced, and my clothes will definitely freeze and catch a cold when riding a bicycle.

I asked how much does this dress cost? You don't say much, and you ask again and again, and you say 320 yuan lightly.

320 yuan in 1997!!! enough for my food expenses for a semester, what a waste of money!

You eagerly asked me to try it, and when I wore it on my body, it was as tight as a newspaper dumpling almost from head to toe. You look very satisfied: it must not be cold now!

The coat is a red coat with a down liner, which is very beautiful.

It was snowing heavily for a few days that year, so my classmate and I borrowed a bicycle to ride to the exam, and it was very difficult to ride along the way, but I didn't feel cold at all with the down coat you bought. It's a pity that I thought that I missed out on graduate school by 3 points.

I've always cherished that dress, and I'm reluctant to give it away. It's the first dress you bought for me, and it's the money you've worked so hard to buy.

After coming to Nanning, although I basically don't need it, I have always treasured it, and I took it out to dry it a few times in the summer, and kept it well.

I remember you once said that you gave it to your sisters in your hometown to keep out the cold and make the best use of it. But I've never been willing to give up, I haven't been willing to give up your affection.

This year, the temperature plummeted, and Doudou wore it to protect against the cold, which came in handy. Doudou teased me yesterday: Mama, do you still want to leave this dress for my children to wear?

It's been almost 20 years, and the clothes are still the same, but you've long since abandoned me. I was even more reluctant to lose this longed-for dress.

Do you remember that cashmere coat? I graduated from college in '98, and after you waited for me for more than four years, we could finally marry you and me, and we bought wedding clothes together, and we didn't have much money in hand, so I said that it would be good to look like it.

When you go to the ethnic mall, you fall in love with the first batch of cashmere coats that were just on the market at that time. In the past, cashmere only knew how to make cashmere sweaters. Seeing a beautiful cashmere coat with a beautiful fox fur collar, you say that you want to buy one for me, gritted my teeth and bought it, and I put on a rose-red cashmere coat when I was young and bright, and it was really glorious. You're dancing with joy!

After coming to Nanning, there is basically no chance to wear a cashmere coat, and you can wear it for a day or two at most a year. Sometimes I don't have a day to wear it in a year, but this year's temperature is very low, but these two clothes that I have always cherished have a chance to appear, and the cashmere coat doesn't seem to be warm enough.

Another year has passed, and 2016 has come, and every New Year is a day when I can't help myself. Nagging with you will also ease my nerves.

I don't know what will happen after you leave, but I don't forget to pray for you every day when I offer incense to Guanyin Bodhisattva, hoping that you can be comfortable and comfortable no matter what dimensional space you are in, and you will no longer work hard.

Doudou said that he was going to Nanjing Xiaolong to play for a few days on vacation, and he didn't want me to go with him, so I was still a little worried. But I also want her to have some contact with your family, I don't want this blood to be broken because of your departure, I hope they can love each other and help each other. I hope that the grievances of our generation and your previous generation will not affect the family affection of the next generation. No matter how much grievances and sufferings I suffer, I won't give Doudou a gap in my heart, after all, she is your family's flesh and blood, not an outsider.

I also want to show Xiaolong to the university in Nanjing, so as to give her some motivation to study. The teacher said that she did not have a clear goal for studying, so would she have a yearning to study hard when she was in college?

The child is older, and it is not very easy to manage, and I am annoyed by the nagging face, so I choose not to preach, and slowly she will grow up to be sensible, right?

In general, Doudou is still a very well-behaved child, but he doesn't study hard enough. A few days ago, the novel "Autumn, Slightly Cool" also won the first prize of the "Cultivation Cup" Creation Contest for middle school students in Nanning. Her interest and future are not expected to come out of the path of study and entrance examination.

With her eloquence, mind and character, I don't have to worry about her future, and after all, we have laid a foundation for her life, but I still hope that she can work hard when she should work hard, and not leave regrets in her life.

But thinking about everyone's own life, now the entrance examination is no longer the only way out like we were back then, so her study is not too strict. Just urging, providing all the help and conditions that are within your ability.

Without your guidance and guidance, without your care, the child is good enough, and I don't want her to work too hard, live a relaxed and happy life, take the entrance examination to a similar university, find a lover who loves each other, and live a peaceful life is my expectation.

Nagging and talking a lot.

Wishing you all well!

When it's cold, remember to add clothes. Have you received the offerings you sent during the Chung Yeung Festival last time, and if you need anything, just come back and tell me, and I will do my best to meet you.

That's all for today.

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