2 September 2007

Woody Allen offered me a role. I told him that before he accepted it, the script was approved by my agent, and then my mom agreed, and my mom and I were always close, and then I needed to go through the permission of that damn Andy who controlled the YU change, and luckily, I brought it up while he was working on top of me, because he hated Woody Allen so much.

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September 15th

When I arrived in Barcelona, I found that Spain was very sunburned, and I would have freckles. I don't make much money, but I'm sure the new agent will do it for me.

Woody said that if the film didn't lose money and could make more than $400 million, he could take another tenth of 1%.

It's funny, do they really think that as long as Woody Allen is the director, I will act at such a cheap price?

September 16th

Met Javier Bardem and Penelope Cruz. She was stunningly beautiful, even sexier than I had ever imagined, and I saw Woody Allen, an old fellow, with his pants on fire throughout the meeting. Baden was the kind of genius who would fall into deep thought, and he readily accepted Woody Allen's offer to help him.

September 18th.

Woody Allen knocked on my door after dinner, and I could tell what the old bastard was noting.

It's a pity that it's not just me who was arranged by the damn Andy to follow a personal bodyguard, although I know that this bodyguard will not interfere with any of my actions, but I am very aware of Andy's bastard possession YU.

The old bastard said I was talented, but it might be hard to grasp, I just chuckled, his hints were too obvious, but I didn't want to be abandoned by Andy's bastard yet, so the old guy left a little stupidly.

October 1

The place to stay is superb. Next year the inn will get half a star, if they can fill it with running water. I could only stand under the shower and send Andy a picture of that bastard wearing only a shirt, and he loved it when I sent him a picture of Xingxing...

October 3rd

The shooting didn't go well at first. Although Rebecca Hall is very young and this is her first time playing the lead role, she has a bit of a big temper, more than I expected, and I don't get used to her, but she dared to kick director Woody off the set.

Oh my God, what did I see? Woody Allen was actually trying to explain that he was really pleasing to that Bichi, okay, I see, in Andy's words, this old rascal who has become Tai and picks up ashes should have climbed into the creation of this little Bichi.

October 9th

The shoot is finally on track. Today is an intense love scene between me and Xavier. Woody Allen didn't seem to give up, and he was very shameless in harassing me, saying that if he had been a year earlier, he would have played the role of Harvey himself. And I replied in an enigmatic tone, "A-ha." ”

Maybe without Andy, I might have been able to get caught by this old bastard...

When I arrived late for the set in the afternoon, Woody Allen reprimanded me harshly, saying he wouldn't tolerate me procrastinating. I listened respectfully, although he noticed that I turned up the volume on my iPod while he spoke.

October 13th

Barcelona is a wonderful city. The streets were packed with people watching our filming. They were very empathetic and realized that I didn't have time to sign them, so they only looked for actors who were resting to sign them. Later, during the break, I happily signed autographs and took pictures.

I have very bad memories of autographs, and the most disgusting one was when a bastard handed me a poster with an unknown liquid on it, and I wanted to kick his dandan!

October 16th

Filming in Gaudí's masterpiece "Sagrada Familia". I think I have a lot in common with the great Spanish architect: we both refuse to follow the rules, he uses his amazing designs, we love to watch Andy's guy disappear in the body during ML...

October 20th

I went to Woody Allen today and asked him a question that actors often ask, "Why am I making this film?" and he immediately replied, "Make money." ”

I said okay, but I said I needed a better reason to keep shooting, triple the money, and I threatened to leave or I would leave. He said whatever I wanted, and went first.

And then I really left, and we both got farther and farther apart, so he had to, screaming, to stop me. Then I threatened him to make him jump.

The old bastard had a question mark on his face, then jumped like a clown, and then we were deadlocked. A few friends came over in the middle of the situation, and then we went to have a big drink, and of course, it was the old bastard who paid the bill.

October 23rd

I had to watch Woody Allen this old bastard again, teach Harvey how to act in ML. This sequence of actions requires him to grab Penelope Cruz, rip off her clothes, and do whatever he can to her in the bedroom.

ALTHOUGH HE WON AN OSCAR, THIS GUY STILL NEEDS A DIRECTOR TO SHOW HIM HOW TO PERFORM A THRILLING PLAY. Perhaps this was the wish of the old rascal Woody Allen, who grabbed Penelope without hesitation and ripped off her clothes in one fell swoop. Even if she was unlucky, she hadn't had time to change into a costume yet, so it was her own expensive costume that was torn apart by the old bastard.

Then he saw that the thin old man's expression was a little hideous, and he seemed to be really excited, and he threw her in front of the fireplace without hesitation, and pounced on her at once. If Penelope was a vixen, she was rolling before the old fellow could get to her.

As a result, Woody Allen, a skinny old man, had several important teeth smashed to the tiled floor. I forced myself to laugh and pretended to follow the crowd to come forward to care, and from Penelope's eyes, I clearly saw a trace of disgust and mockery, today is a pleasant day!

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"Honey, I'm really fed up with that narcissistic old bastard, my God, you don't know how narcissistic he is, he actually thinks that Penelope and I are slowly getting hooked on him, and shamelessly tells us, it's not strange at all, sighs at the fragile heart of a woman, and says that every time he sees us looking at him, he can see in our eyes that we are creating with him, and says that when he sees poor Harveier looking at him with jealousy on the sidelines, he even explains to Harveyer, OMG... I used to worship him so much!"

Andy took a Bluetooth headset and walked out of the teaching building quickly, listening to Scarlett's chattering and complaining, and couldn't help but smile and said: "You have to understand him, people of his age are only left with illusions, haha, a brute who can raise a daughter in XINGqin, it will not surprise people to do anything." ”

"SERIOUSLY, DEAR, I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS DISGUSTING DIRTY OLD FELLOW, YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW CHANGEABLE HE IS, HE TOLD ME AND PENELOPE THAT THE REASON WHY HE TAKES A SHOWER EVERY MORNING TO MAKE IT FRESH AND FRAGRANT MAKES ME AND PENELOPE EVEN MORE OBSESSED WITH HIM.

He also told us that he didn't like to confuse work with pleasure, but that in order to finish the film, he might have to come out to quench the cravings of each of us, and to arrange Penelope's Wednesday and Friday times, while Tuesdays and Thursdays were satisfying me, as if I were taking turns parking on both sides of the street.

In this way, he just had a spare Monday for Rebecca, and he said that he had stopped her from tattooing her name on her big tui, and just now invited us to have a drink with him, to appoint a charter, and lamented that maybe the old-fashioned system of issuing ration tickets would work...

Oh my God, Penelope and I almost went crazy laughing, I really don't know where he got his confidence, Penelope has already got together with Xavier, this old dog with chunk, it's really speechless. ”

Andy's face turned black when he got into the car, although he couldn't stop others from YY his own woman, but an old brute like Woody Allen who directly flirted with his own woman really made him feel annoyed.

"Ha~ He won't invite you to accompany him, right?"

"Haha, you guessed it? He's been harassing us, but Rebecca's Bichi doesn't seem to be satisfied, and he hasn't been given a good look, and to be honest, if I can't touch the rules of Hollywood, I really want to take him to court!"

Andy's eyes narrowed slightly, and he said with a sneer: "You don't have to worry about this, you can finish filming with peace of mind, and I will teach him a profound lesson." ”

"Honey, I miss you, damn it, being teased by this old bastard, I really miss you!"

Andy heard Scarlett start to complain on the phone, and couldn't help swallowing his saliva, and scolded in his heart, this demon, because he is now driving on the way to the Los Angeles airport to pick up Ivana, damn it, the pants are really on fire!