2015.5.20

From [Mutual Ghosts and Gods Long Review Club]

Introduction: The author's big introduction hit the nail on the head, directly revealing the process of the text, leading to the theme of the text, lively words, and implementing the style of the whole text. 23 likes!

Writing: The writing of this essay is relaxed and pleasant, and the simple description of daily life makes people feel that they are really reading a private diary, which is very wonderful, and people can't help but peek at it all the time.

The opening tone is gentle, the warmth of a small family with a good life, the hypocrisy and boredom between people, and the forbearance of the pit fathers in the society, are meticulously elaborated in place, so that readers can resonate.

Characters: The psychological description of the heroine is very good, making the reader feel as if she is the protagonist. The background is clear and the task communication is very relevant. In this way, the sudden extraordinary change is even more refreshing.

It's just that I don't know what the character looks like

Plot: It's a cool text, the tone is funny, resentful, cleverly conceived, combined with daily life, it makes people very insightful, everyone always misses out on their precious things because of various scruples, and the same is true for the heroine, and through herself to understand the responsibilities of this future company, and the main line of Wenwen. It's very clear, clear, and thought-provoking.

However, it seems to be a bit monotonous to watch it all the time~~ You can make a little episode, a small fan, and create a little atmosphere0.0

Collectivity:

The beginning is plain, but it is an immersive story, and the story of suddenly falling into another world after calming down physically and mentally. Although the text is written in the third person, it starts from the perspective of the heroine's single perspective, and when I read the flavor of one person, it feels like peeking at a diary, which is very tempting.

However, a person's diary will be lacking if he reads too much, after all, it is the three of them who say that they can explode more information, thank you for other people's little secrets, and it feels more interesting.

(Friends, come and see~~ The small daily and non-daily with deep feelings ~~ Whether you like it or not, I like it very much anyway.) ）

Huishen's reply:

I was very excited to see the long comment of the pro, and I could even say that I had an unexpected sense of surprise!

Especially with such a detailed analysis of the comment, let's take a look at it first~

In terms of introduction,I'm the current version after two revisions (the author of "Xianben Wuyi" helped to consult),The previous length was relatively long.,The generalization is relatively weak.,I personally mentioned the process and the knowledge of the theme.,It shows that the role of the introduction has been achieved.。

In terms of writing, I have not set a position for myself, and the word "daily simple description" has given Huishen a sense of direction for his own writing positioning, and he has taken the sketch route.

In terms of characters, you can see that the personal use of "make the reader feel like he is the protagonist" allows Huishen to accurately know the reader's feelings about reading the text from the perspective for the first time. Here I say that I have an understanding of the protagonist's character.,But I can't feel the appearance of the protagonist.,I want to say,This is definitely a huge bug in the previous article.,Too important advice!

The suggestion on the plot is a little monotonous、This as the author may not be able to perceive.,Thank you for your suggestion.,Think about it carefully.,It seems that the text really has only one trunk.,Lack of branches.、Not lush enough.,Small fanwai、Small episodes will try to write it~

Overall,The use of the name Huishen is also a little entangled in the code word.,After reading the suggestion, I decided to take a multi-perspective to show the development of the plot.,Uh-huh~ Tonight's update was immediately repaired.,Add an angle.,I hope it can be more exciting~

I really appreciate the suggestion of the pro, the analysis of each angle has helped a lot to the development of Wenwen~

For me personally, thank you for your affirmation and attention~ Huishen will work harder!O(∩_∩)O~

Thousands of words are combined into one sentence "Thank you~"