Yang Li seems to be depressed, often insomnia, often has suicidal thoughts in her brain, sometimes she really wants to hit her head on the wall or jump directly from the upstairs, she has a fear of heights since she was a child, and I don't know if she is afraid of heights.

The Spring Festival is here again, and the mood is already at a low point, and when I return to my hometown, I will definitely be scolded by my father again, and I will quarrel with my brother. Forget it! I still spend the New Year in Beijing alone.

Looking at the lights of thousands of homes, none of them are lit for themselves. Seeing that every family is congratulating the New Year reunion, I seem to be in the same world as these people, extremely lonely.

Her mother sent a video call saying that she missed Yang Li, but Yang Li was worried that her mother would not be able to control her emotions and tears, so she lowered her voice and had a video conversation with her mother. After the video call ended, Yang Li suddenly felt her heart beating faster and short of breath, and she felt like she was holding back a resentment in her heart, which was very uncomfortable. The feeling of being suffocated.

It's been three months, the heart beats very fast, shortness of breath, Yang Li knows that she is sick, but she doesn't want to go to the doctor, she is still a little happy in her heart, and she really thinks that her sudden death is also a relief. Anyway, I have to buy insurance, and I will compensate my father with a sum of money after death, so I don't owe him anything in this life. Mom and brother and sister will support her in the future, although the brother is selfish, but the basic filial piety is still there.

Suicidal thoughts come to mind every day, and seeing a lot of people online saying that people with depression are scary. In fact, people with depression are very kind people, perceptive and sensitive, because they understand the true nature and meaning of human life.

It's just a few decades, the longest hundred years, and I want to embrace life with the most sincere and kind side and return to the basics. It is precisely because of the return to the basics that they are cynical, seeing and experiencing the real human nature, most people are driven by interests, whether they go to school, work, or live, that is, they laugh at the society of poverty and prostitution.

Often the more vulgar things are, the more people seek them out, such as a certain Guo Satellite TV, a certain Jiang Satellite TV, and a certain Su Satellite TV's ratings have always been very high, but the first two satellite TV finally taught people how to chase stars? How to judge the superficial appearance of beauty? The three views of a certain Su Satellite TV in the back are even more reversed!

Another example is the current Internet celebrity economy, the more vulgar the anchor, the more vulgar the jokes, the more money can be made.

In the past few years, people have become very powerful and impetuous, and they have lost their most basic integrity and morality by means and deception for the sake of profit. Nowadays, people's lives are getting better and better, but the soul cannot catch up with the body! There is no pure land in the world.

People with depression are very lonely and don't like to laugh, but in order to survive and adapt to society, they cater to other people's laughter, cater to other people's topics, and imitate other people's work and life, and the imitation is not like it, because except for a few rich second generations, the means and measurements of ordinary people to really make money are not correct, that is, they are either vicissitudes or dirty. Because it is not like imitation, it is ridiculed or regarded as a fool by others.

Severe depression often has suicidal thoughts, insight into all people are profit-seeking, feeling that the world is too dirty, there is no innocent emotion, nothing is interesting, and try to let yourself out, but chatting or playing with people who are not on the same channel, it is better to stay alone. When we let go of the burden of our hearts and face life with positive thoughts and attitudes, we are often hurt.

Slowly, I feel more and more that living is sin, and I don't want to involve and hurt anyone, so I am quietly free!