Yang Li has always felt so lonely, this loneliness is not loneliness, but the feeling that she can't find someone to resonate with, looking around and ignorant of sounds. Whether it's talking about politics, human nature, culture, society, religion, life and other topics, she can't talk to the people around her, and some people can't understand it at all, and they are not interested in listening to it. Some people told her that they didn't understand the depth of the problem at all. When some people tell her, she thinks it's nonsense. Some people of the opposite sex hear Yang Li's young talk about the problems and the depth of looking at and analyzing problems, and have a sense of frustration and failure, resulting in inferiority complex.

There is no one who can speak, Yang Li often talks to herself by herself, and talks to herself when she thinks of something, sometimes like a psychopath, thinking of funny or interesting things and smirking while talking to herself.

I suddenly remembered a book I had read that had a good reputation and sales, "Genius on the Left, Crazy on the Right", the story and characters of this book were interviews with some 'psychopaths' about their causes, and what they saw and thoughts.

Most of what some mentally ill people say is related to religion and physics. For us, we think that they are psychopaths, they can see and think, and feel things that ordinary people don't know, and they fall into it. Maybe it's because we're ignorant, but they're geniuses and wise men.

Because of seeing and thinking and feeling things that ordinary people can't see, think of, and feel, it becomes mysterious. Talking to us ignorant ordinary people, not believing what they say, and using the current science can't explain it, so we ignorant ordinary people can only include them in the category of mental illness.

Maybe their thinking is too advanced, or maybe they really have what religion calls opening their eyes.

Yang Li sometimes feels that she is almost like the psychopath of this book, because she has also happened a few strange things and seen very magical things. After experiencing several births and deaths, there is also a Buddhist belief that everything is cause and effect, and that everything is empty, like a dream bubble. Yang Li sometimes really feels that everything that happens in her life is like a dream.

Because once, a few years ago, when I was traveling to an island country in the South Pacific with my friends, I was taking a nap in my hotel room, and suddenly I was fighting with my brother when I was a child. Suddenly, I woke up.

Then it was the scene of climbing the mountain with my mother, in a lush wood, the sun shone in, I was talking to my mother, my mother said that I would go home at night and make something to eat, and then my mother took Yang Li to continue to climb the mountain, the picture was still very clear, and suddenly I woke up again, it turned out to be a dream again.

Then I was playing with my brother and other children in the field, the water was very clear, the water was murmuring on the edge of the field, the little fish were swimming around happily, and I and the children were happily catching fish. The small fish caught are put into a glass bottle. Suddenly I woke up again, and it turned out that I was dreaming again.

Then it was the scene of being at home again, cooking with her mother, her mother was chopping vegetables, and Yang Li was helping her mother pick vegetables and wash vegetables. Talking with mom while cooking. Suddenly I woke up again, and it turned out that I was dreaming again.

I've been dreaming like this for several times, waking up thinking that the current world is the real world, but suddenly waking up again after a while, waking up and thinking that the current world is the real world, but waking up again, and so on several times. When I finally woke up and saw myself lying in bed, I still wondered if I was real? Am I still in a dream? I still wonder if all this is a dream? Am I still in a dream?

Another time, when I was 17 years old, a month before I was beaten, I dreamed that 3 strange men chased and slashed me with knives, and I ran desperately on the side of the road, running desperately while being afraid, and then the 3 men drove the car with knives and kept chasing behind, and they ran forward desperately, and then they woke up in fright. A month later, unexpectedly, it really happened, 3 strange men smashed themselves with wine bottles, and were hospitalized with injuries.

When I was 20 years old, I went to Vietnam to play and bought a jade Buddha hanging around my neck. A few days later, a black dot suddenly appeared in the left eye of the Jade Buddha, and the black dot was in the eye, which looked like a black eyeball, and then the right eye of the Jade Buddha did not have a black spot. Yang Li thought that she had accidentally got dirty and rinsed it with water, but she couldn't wash it off, and she soaked it in hot water, but she still couldn't wash it off.

Yang Li was very curious, why couldn't this black spot be washed off? Yang Li didn't care, wrapped the Jade Buddha in a red cloth and put it in the jewelry box.

A few days later, I suddenly dreamed that I was playing with my brother by the well when I was a child, and suddenly a bird flew out next to the well, and Yang Li asked my brother, "Where did this little bird fly from?"

Brother: "I don't know, let's go find out!"

Then I saw a big Buddha statue, and then a few small birds flew out of the right eye of the big Buddha statue, Yang Li and her brother went to take out the bird's nest in the right eye of the big Buddha statue, and the little bird accidentally fell to the ground. Then Yang Li and her brother left the Buddha statue.

After waking up from the dream, Yang Li suddenly thought of the jade Buddha she bought, at the beginning of the purchase, there was no black spot in the left eye, how could a black spot suddenly appear in the left eye after wearing it for a few days? Then, combined with the dream just now, could it be that the Buddha was dreaming to himself, telling himself why there was no black spot in his right eye? Could it be that the dream was an evil thing that he had done in his previous life?

Then I thought that when I was a child, I suddenly fell into the well next to the Buddha statue in my dream, and almost lost my life, and drank a lot of water, and it was the people in the side yard who passed by and saw a small child floating in the well before carrying myself ashore.

That jade Buddha statue, to this day, Yang Li is still wrapped in red cloth, and she has never dared to throw it away or give it away.

and after the abortion, my mood fell into a trough, and during that time, my heartbeat was abnormal, my heartbeat was racing, I was short of breath, and I was also full of hatred for Liu Guo. I took a sleeping pill to sleep with hatred at night, and when I was about to fall asleep, my heart suddenly stopped beating and became as hard as a stone, and suddenly it was like opening my eyes to the sky, and I saw the sea and sky, the blue sky, the blue sea, and from a distance came a Guanyin Bodhisattva in a white dress, with a demeanor ** and elegance, getting closer and closer to him, and suddenly he was a little scared and frightened, and wanted to return to reality quickly, and did not want to leave the country of Liu.

The consciousness wanted to return to reality quickly, and suddenly he woke up, and his heart slowly beats.