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"To this day, I still haven't figured out where I suddenly got the courage to rush out of the trench, obviously I was scared to death a second ago, but as soon as the order sounded, I rushed out, and by the time I reacted, I had rushed out more than ten meters. ”

"Of course, all this is not because I have any bloody military feelings, throwing my head and spilling blood for the so-called vocation faith, what I do is just to submit to the other people around me, just like the rabble described by Le Pen, in that case, the individual has long lost his subjective will, and the body has long become a war machine that is constantly fighting, and has completely lost his thinking. ”

"Fortunately, our charge process was very smooth, so to speak, and it can be said that the momentum was like a bamboo, and the German troops had already been exhausted in the long war, and their combat effectiveness plummeted. ”

"In the process of constantly charging, my heart also changed, from the initial fear to a kind of yearning and excitement, I imagined myself rushing into the enemy trenches, shooting bullets into the chests of those Germans, and finally taking those people's heads to the captain to ask for credit, that person is the capital of my glory and respect in this army, it can make me no longer me, no longer the loser who wanders the streets, the little person who others despise and despises. I can start a new life, everything, everything. ”

Speaking of this, Edward laughed, looked at the shocked Lird on the side and smiled: "Why, isn't everything ridiculous? A person who was trembling with gunfire one second ago, but the next second he wanted to exchange other people's blood and lives for himself for a reward. Whew, this is war, it's the most cruel and beautiful part of it. ”

"Just as I was beginning to bask in the excitement, an explosion rang out right next to me. The explosion knocked me to the ground, and I felt a long ringing in my ears and a burning pain in my ear canal. At that moment, I only felt that my eardrums were completely shattered, and although my brain was still somewhat awake, my body was completely out of control. ”

"I only felt a person step on my body, and although my body was numb, I could feel the unusually heavy weight, and I kept cursing and shouting in my heart. If I hadn't died in the bomb explosion but at the feet of my comrades, then I really wanted to cry without tears. ”

"After a long time, my body finally recovered, and my ears gradually regained hearing. By the time I sat up, the whole unit had rushed forward, and the hail of bullets seemed to distance me again. ”

"Fame and honor passed me by, but I didn't feel any loss, after all, I survived now. At that time, the joy in my heart was indescribable, and living to die was the greatest luck in the world. ”

"But at this moment, I suddenly heard someone calling my name, at first I thought it was an auditory hallucination, but soon I realized that the secret cry was very close to me, and as I tried to crawl for the sound, I finally saw Barton. ”

"Barton's body was blown to a blur of flesh and tear. I can't even describe it in words, I can only say that human beings are really very strong animals, even if a piece of their head is missing, they still have the breath of life. ”

Of course, it was unknown how long Barton would live, not only was half of his head blown off, but his limbs were also shattered, especially since the legs were long gone. ”

"I was shocked to see Patton, I couldn't imagine that someone who had a smile on his face not so long ago had become such a person in an instant. The fragility of life is like a frozen ice flower. ”

Even so, Barton had that big smile on his face, as if he were not the one who was hurting. When he saw me, he was very excited, babbling about how stupid he was, that he would step on a landmine. I was so distracted that I couldn't hear what he was saying, my hands just kept covering the wounds, but how could I control them, the blood kept flowing from my fingers, staining my clothes red. ”

"Finally I was stopped by Barton, and when I reacted and looked at him, he began to tell me his last request in his life, which was to kill him. ”

"I was stunned, I thought Barton would beg me to rescue him, but he let me end his life. Now I understand his request, at that time Barton had lost all hope in life, his hands, feet, limbs and even his brain were damaged, and even if he could live, he would only be a completely incapacitated cripple, I am afraid that he would not even be a cripple. Not to mention his former ideals, I'm afraid that going downstairs to the bar for a glass of whiskey has become an unattainable luxury. ”

That's why he begged to die, because he was afraid to continue living. ”

Listening to Edward's story, Lird already had a rough idea of what was going to happen, but when he saw this, his heart still tightened, and his teeth bit his lip.

"Just like that, Barton kept pleading with me, and I kept shaking my head frantically, and I shouted for the medics, but no one paid any attention to me. Although the Germans began to rout, their firepower was still not to be underestimated, and a large number of mine traps were placed on the plains around them, and Patton was not the only one who suffered casualties. ”

Finally Barton pleaded with me with a wail of sorrows, and said all the humblest words. And the terrible wails accompanied by the sound of guns and wails around me always echoed in my ears, and the atmosphere made me feel like I was returning to the sight of the wounded and the corpses, and the desperate and painful faces appeared before my eyes, and I was sure that Barton would never be better than them. ”

Thinking of this, I suddenly felt a little unwilling and annoyed in my heart, that emotion was nameless, and at that moment I even had some hatred, which had no specific designated object. I hate the Germans, I hate Woodrow Wilson, my boss, I hate myself even more. And all I have to do is to release that anger in my heart..."

At this point Edward stopped, and Lird did not ask any further questions, and the two of them were in silence with each other, silent.

I don't know how long it took for Edward to speak, "When everything calmed down, I realized that my hand was on Barton's neck, and he was already dead. ”

"I don't know if he lost too much blood or was strangled to death, but it doesn't matter, in my heart he died at my hands. And when he died, there was a smile on the corner of his mouth. ”

"There was no need to talk about what happened after that, I survived on the battlefield, and in the following days I threw myself into more battlefields, fought bloodily, and finally survived. It wasn't until the end of the war that I returned to America on a crowded ferry, and the docks were full of people welcoming the soldiers back, but no one to greet me. ”

"I was baptized and trained in war. No longer the quivering recruit who would just hide in the trenches, I could shoot and kill without hesitation, rummaging through the corpses for my loot. I've gained a lot, I've lost a lot, at least since, I haven't had any friends. ”

Edward's story finally ended, and Lird was immersed in Edward's story, and although he understood that Edward was saying these things to comfort himself, he did not understand for a moment how similar the two things were.

Edward continued, "For all these years, I've been wondering if Patton would have been a writer if he hadn't enlisted in the army and joined the war? But the most important thing is that it doesn't matter anymore. ”

"Patton is dead, and the value of his life has completely dissipated, and he has not had time to become a saint or a great man, not even a celebrity, and perhaps no one else in this world can remember his name and voice now except me. And when I'm a hundred years old, the name Patton will be completely dissipated. Human life is like this, it seems to have value, but in fact it is worthless. ”

After that, Edward changed his words and said, "The same is true of the old lady you killed, she is not my friend, but an enemy. If you weren't decisive enough at that time, maybe you would have been the one who fell. And the direction and value of the whole thing will also change. ”

"How many years from now no one will remember you Lird, what kind of dreams you had, what kind of efforts you had, what kind of personality you had, what kind of quality you had, all this no longer matters, you have completely forgotten yourself, and you have no one to blame. ”

"Do you want to be like this?"

Lird was silent.

Naturally, he didn't want to do this, and no one in this world wanted to do this.

Edward said, "But you changed your fate, you killed her, and she became the dust of this world like Barton, and you have more possibilities." Just like me now, I can go to a strip club to get drunk, I can go to my lover's house for a night of fun, or I can come to this hellish place and trade my life for money. Either way, I'm free and life is full of possibilities. That's what I value. ”

"I told you Barton's story, not to let you know how cruel war is, how much humanity is lost in war, but what I want to say is that survival is the most valuable thing in the world, otherwise whatever you have and what you want to have will eventually come to naught. Even if you have a high chance of becoming General Patton. ”

Lird was a little uncomfortable with the sudden change that Edward said, and he smiled bitterly and said, "I thought you wanted to mourn your former comrades, so that..."

"Haha, no kidding. Edward smiled heartily.

"Do you think I'm like that? Let's put it this way, I'm able to get along with Barton because he's a good bully, and my military life will be easy with him, knowing that I'll have to wash my socks by myself when he's dead. I was right when I said earlier, Patton could have become a great General Patton, but with his temperament, he could only be a shabby writer who barely survived by publishing articles, and the general or something was really too illusory. Everyone has a life, and even if Patton is not killed by that mine, it will be difficult for him to become a general. ”

Lird: ...

Edward patted Lird on the shoulder and said, "My young master, please look away." You know you're much stronger than Patton, and we're not dealing with nuclear-armed Germans. Since you are not killed by mines, but have cleared them, then you are likely to become a general, and all this is done by you with both hands, and you should be proud and proud of yourself. ”

Hearing Edward's words, Lird even began to feel a little confused, the pain and self-blame in his heart before really dissipated, and the guilt seemed to be transforming into something else, which made Lird feel a little nervous, but this tension also made him more relaxed.

At this time, Edward had already tossed the coffee beans into the kettle, and the faint aroma of coffee began to waft out.

Edward raised his nose and sniffed, a look of satisfaction and intoxication on his face.

"Our plan was very successful, the old woman died, the difficult big man was also provoked, and some of the remaining comrades could not set off any storms without a backbone. And leave the rest to the priest. ”

After that, Edward suddenly smiled and said, "Don't say it, this priest is still very eye-catching when he looks at it in person." ”

Lird shrugged his shoulders and said, "It seems that you are very close to each other, and she said last night that she wanted to meet you." ”

Edward shook his head and said, "Forget it, roses are beautiful but you don't necessarily have to pick them yourself, and it's better for me to stay away from some of that kind of woman." After that, Edward looked at Lird rather playfully and said, "As for you, young master, it's best to keep a certain distance from that woman." Although she is very unusual to you, you are not the same person after all. ”

Lird was a little embarrassed by Edward's strange gaze, and he coughed lightly and said to Edward: "You don't want to show anything out of words, I have a normal relationship with her, and I naturally know how to get along." ”

Although Lird said this, his heart was also very confused, and he could not even explain what kind of existence his so-called "ordinary normal relationship" just now.

Edward looked up and smiled, "Yes? That's good, that's good." ”

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