Yingying knows that her thousands of grievances and indescribable feelings are about to be buried deep in this season of deep sorrow like the sea in spring, just like Daiyu's funeral flowers, what can be buried is only a ceremony, and what cannot be buried is the incomprehensible dream of thousands of miles. So she collected all the bits and pieces that she had memorized since she was a child, put them in a cardboard box, and put them under the big bed, just like the big tin box of Sister Yuelan in the past, and put it away, and inadvertently shed a few tears when she cleaned it up.

Soon, Sister Yuelan got married, her mother-in-law's family is thirty miles away in Qinglong Town, the man is in his thirties, two brothers, there is an old lady, everyone says that Yuelan can't stand her, both brothers can do it, although the man is a little worse, but Yuelan has this problem, the family conspires and conspires is also appropriate, maybe go over there and have a man and a woman, otherwise it is not a law to raise it at home, in the past two years, he has sought medical treatment and medicine, and Yuelan's disease has also improved a lot, and he also knows how to greet people: "Have you eaten?" "What are you doing?" But it's only limited to those few words, and when I say too much, I'm still not mentally normal, and I'm upside down, "I have a nervous disorder, don't be like me, I have to take medicine every day!"

On the day of the wedding, everything was officially married in accordance with the rules of the countryside, Yingying, Mingxia and several other little girls were married together, and when they got married, the sound of firecrackers was deafening, and Yingying knew her fate when she stood in the sound of firecrackers. Yuelan wore a big red flower on her head, wearing a water red satin jacket, as if she was still in the early years, when she got into the car, she turned around and smiled and said to her mother: "Mother, I don't cry, I am happy——" Yuelan Niang listened to wipe her tears with the placket of her clothes, but she couldn't wipe it away.

A tattered minibus carried Yuelan and a few little girls to marry, followed by a farm tricycle with a few pieces of furniture on the dirt road in the field and drove towards Yuelan's in-laws, the little girl in the countryside who had been limping for so long in the car, one by one limped in the car, but Yuelan seemed a lot calmer, she sat firmly in the co-pilot seat of the car, did not do or vomit, kept looking out the window of the poplar row and the crops on both sides of the road, Yingying looked at her, I couldn't see whether she was happy, happy, or sad, I saw her sitting quietlyAfter a while, he looked at the little girls behind him who were making a lot of noise and said slowly: "Don't make a fuss, okay? Today is a good day for me to get married, you all work hard (insist), okay?" Several little girls are not as knowledgeable as her, and they gave a look behind them and smiled: "Okay! Sister Yuelan, I will make a ......."

Yuelan's mother-in-law's house looks dilapidated and dilapidated, a few low broken grass houses highlight its shabby status in the village, the four open courtyards are cooking smoke, a few large round tables are placed, neighbors and friends, as soon as the car drove into Zhuangzi and parked at the door of Yuelan's house, Yingying saw all this through the glass of the car window, knowing that Sister Yuelan was about to fall here, the groom was a man who looked more pale and more obscene than his actual age, although he wore a brand new dress, he still couldn't hide the inferior and vulgar appearance, Yingying glanced at him, and felt extremely uncomfortable in her heart and turned her face away。

Sent away Yuelan, the next day is the day of Huaibei meeting, since that night Huaibei ran off the wall, he didn't dare to enter the house for more than a month, in this more than a month, Li Jinfeng didn't put his house away, but he was not idle, because Huainan was going to get married, she got the end of the house to decorate the house, clean up the house, so that until Huainan got married, led his daughter-in-law to Meng Liuyao to thank him, Huaibei was embarrassed to follow back, Li Jinfeng took advantage of the hot iron to quickly tell him a partner. Liu Dazhu reluctantly agreed to him coming back, and the original unreliable marriage was canceled, Liu Dazhu disagreed in a fit of anger, and Li Jinfeng no longer insisted. Yingying didn't even look at him when she saw him, she hid far away, as if she was afraid of the plague, and when she slept at night, she climbed into her grandmother's big bed and slept inside, so she was still terrified all day long.

Liu Dazhu and Li Jinfeng saw the situation and hurriedly introduced him to the object, and saw one after another, either Huaibei looked down on others, or people looked down on Huaibei, every time they met Yingying hid far away, and didn't even look at it, one evening Yingying heard Li Jinfeng catch Huaibei and count them in the gate: "Don't think about finding a handsome and handsome person, just like us, don't you know what conditions we have?......?" Li Jinfeng taught in a long and short voice, Huaibei lowered his head and rubbed the ground with one foot, it really worked like this, and soon Huaibei ordered one, it looks very mediocre, and all aspects are still said in the past, people also understand some reason, Li Jinfeng happily grinned with his mouth, and praised when he saw people, as if he was a supreme treasure.

The girl's name is Honglan, Yingying didn't speak when she saw her, nodded "Hmm!" and passed, Honglan saw that she looked upright and peugeot, only when she was cold and arrogant, she was ashamed of her appearance, so she naturally didn't dare to approach rashly, and gradually Yingying felt that Honglan was still a kind and honest person, and couldn't help but feel that she had lost money with Huaibei.

In this way, it was more than a year at home, Huaibei and Honglan got married, lived in the West Wing, after getting married, Huaibei also seemed to have changed a person, talking and doing things with the arrogant momentum of a big man, and he was also disdainful of Liu Dazhu between words, and from time to time he put a sentence or two, Yingying saw that he still ignored it, but his heart was much calmer, of course, sometimes there were people who tried to propose to Yingying, Liu Dazhu blocked it, saying two years later, two years later, the child is still a little small. In fact, Liu Dazhu has his own plans, this year to see Yingying out of the landing more and more standard, although his family foundation is not good, but if you pay careful attention, you may be able to find a good family; Yingying still can't play with her, she would rather stay alone, or play with the crazy and stupid Sister Yuelan like before, and she can't bear to be embarrassed to listen to her with Mingxia: "He said that his grandmother took a fancy to me, and said that I was an honest person at first sight." "He brought 400 yuan at the Furukawa Conference, and I only spent 180 yuan, and he thought I spent ...... less."

Lily will come back every two or three weeks, Yingying and her are still sitting together like a child and quietly say some intimate words, after all, the two of them are in the bottom of their hearts, they are not only good friends who have grown up together since childhood, but also confidants, Yingying will tell her what happened at home, for the dark life of the frog at the bottom of the well at home, Lily showed great sympathy, for her this kind of life is unimaginable, miserable, but Yingying said with a bland expression, she smiled, as if everything was normal for her, slowly she didn't say much about it, what's the use of itLily also told her how nervous she was in high school, how difficult it was to get along with her classmates, and Yingying could hear it in the clouds, that it used to be a paradise she longed for, but even though she had dreamed of it in every way, she still couldn't get in in the end, so what was the use of listening to those now?

But every time I see Xiaojun, the sense of remoteness of the dream is not so strong, although she and Xiaojun don't have much to say, but Xiaojun's every look, every greeting, makes her feel that he is so close to her, and even makes her feel that the No. 1 middle school he studied is not so unattainable, but this feeling is often denied by Yingying, she would rather believe that this is just her wishful thinking, how can she have no distance from Xiaojun? They have not been playing since they were children, and they have not communicated much when they grow up, and now one of them is a reserve high-achieving student, and the other is a down-and-out student waiting for the arrangement of fate, not to mention, is there any agreement between them? No, nothing, just an illusion with no future and no ending.

During the summer vacation, Xiaojun was admitted to a university, and one day, under the old willow tree, I don't know why everyone else left that day, leaving him and her.

"You said the university was in Harbin, right?" or the broken straw mat, she and he sat back to back.

"Well, in Jilin,...... It's cold there!"

"Oh...... That's not going to come back!"

"Yes, I'll be back during the winter break......"

“……”

Yingying knew that everything would happen, everything would happen sooner or later, so she had nothing to say, and after a while, she said: "I'm going to the city in two days, there is a yarn factory in the city recruiting workers, I want to go to work!"

"Oh......" Xiao Jun turned his face to look at her when he heard this, and his eyes were immediately full of sadness.

Aunt Yingying's cousin Ailing worked in the yarn factory in the city, when Huaibei got married, she came, she hadn't seen her for a few years, looking at Yingying's appearance, she was very envious, and said, don't stay at home all the time, go to the city to find a class, be more energetic, and be good enough to earn two pocket money, therefore, after the autumn busy season, Yingying was sent into the city by Liu Dazhu.

followed Ailing's cousin into the yarn factory, Yingying entered the society for the first time, the yarn factory is really a lively place, everything is fresh and novel, Yingying gradually feels that she is getting farther and farther away from the living environment in the past. The first time I left home, leaving the home that had always been regarded as a fragmented by Yingying, leaving the place where she grew up together, whenever it was the dead of night, Yingying missed it even more, thinking about how good it was, she missed her grandmother, she wanted her grandmother to pull her up since she was a child, so she lay on the bed and cried in a daze; she thought about her father Liu Dazhu, remembered that he treated her well, it was really not easy, she knew that she was not biological, but she still did everything she should do as a father, although since he married Li Jinfeng as a father, he handed her over to his grandmother, but since he was a child, which thing, that time to go to school and pay tuition was not for him to payIf she is really admitted to high school and university, she believes that her father will definitely support her, which she is very sure of, because she knows that compared to Huaibei, her father has always placed hope on her. Especially the scene when he picked up the shovel and shot Huaibei that night, she will always remember it in her heart, and later she never mentioned her marriage with Huaibei again, it must have been his idea right. Later, someone mentioned to her, her father resigned, he cherished her very much, and wanted her to have a better destination, I remember when he sent her to Sister Ailing, his expression was heavy and restrained, he was a father in the real sense, remembering that she had been separated from him, Yingying cried even more sadly; 。 Life does not stop, and feelings are not lost.

Cousin Ailing went back to her husband's car repair shop every night, and Yingying lived in the women's dormitory in the factory. It was a mixed place, there were men and women coming in and out all day long, Yingying didn't dare to look at them at first, thinking that they were all like perverts, seeing which woman had a lively personality, and a little bit of posture surrounded like a beecomb, and one of them named Ge Hong was the object of the group of wild bees and butterflies.

Actually, Ge Hongchang is really not pretty, medium height, duck egg face, a pair of small eyes are always smiling, but she has a good temper, she laughs when she sees people, and she pulls everyone to come, and she is not afraid of naughty men, she drinks when she says she drinks, and she goes shopping when she says she goes shopping, anyway, it is the type that all men like. However, everyone in the factory also knows Ge Hong's secret, that is, Ge Hong has stayed in this factory because of a man, and it has been three years, and this person is mechanic Pan Jinchao.

Pan Jinchao doesn't like Ge Hong, for three years, although she and other men are all kinds of enchanting and amorous, Pan Jinchao has never talked to her. Ge Hong said, I don't see you find a girlfriend in this factory, I will never leave. She was willing, and did all kinds of things for him in a low voice, buying breakfast in the morning, buying cold drinks in the summer, she was always the first to appear in front of him when she had a cold and fever, Xiao Pan couldn't do it, so she treated her as a friend. Therefore, the people in the factory saw such a funny phenomenon, on the one hand, Ge Hong scratched her head in front of everyone, all kinds of amorous; on the other hand, she bowed down in front of Pan Jinchao, and she was the first to look at it; she was inseparable from Pan Jinchao for a while, and then she drank with other men and went shopping on a date.

When Yingying first met Pan Jinchao, she had already heard the story of him and Ge Hong. Pan Jin is super tall, his shiny hair is very flowing, and his demeanor is flying, Yingying feels that he is just an insignificant little girl, a little girl, especially compared with Ge Hong, who is full of charm. So she thought that in this world, probably only Xiaojun can really like her, but Xiaojun ...... In another world that she couldn't imagine, Yingying raised her head and saw through the tall glass window of the yarn factory that the blue sky was floating with white clouds, so high and ethereal.

One day, the machine Yingying was looking at was broken, so she went to Pan Jinchao to repair it. She couldn't find it everywhere, she was in a hurry, and later after being pointed out, she found him lying in a pile of scraps, motionless. Yingying walked over and said, "My machine is broken, you go and fix it for me!" Speaking of the past, Yingying knew how presumptuous she said, but she didn't know how to phrase politely, the people in the factory called him Xiao Pan, Yingying didn't shout, just stood and looked at him.

Pan Jinchao listened, and only raised his eyelids to look at her for a long time, but he didn't say a word, nor did he move, just when Yingying felt a little impatient, she saw Pan Jinchao get up from the scrap. Seeing this, Yingying walked in front, Pan Jinchao followed behind, walked a short distance, Yingying always felt a little strange, so she looked back, and saw Pan Jinchao walking forward weakly with decadent steps, and then raised her head to look at her. Yingying turned her head excitedly.

Yingying stood aside and watched Pan Jinchao repair the machine little by little, she didn't dare to get too close, Pan Jinchao had a force in him, a kind of boy's masculinity and vigor, which made her, a little girl who had just entered society, feel timid. After the machine was repaired, Pan Jinchao deliberately debugged it, walked over, looked at her, and said with a smile: "It's repaired!"

Pan Jinchao's smile flattered Yingying, in her eyes, she has only seen Pan Jinchao or handsome or decadent, but it is just a strange boy who has nothing to do with her, she has never seen a person smile at her like this, his eyes are so gentle and pure when he laughs, like a crystal clear lake, without a little impurity.

Yingying's heart flashed a trace of wonderful feelings, she knew that Pan Jinchao was different from other boys in the factory, he was not only handsome, but also didn't like to laugh and play in the women's dormitory.

So, slowly, there was a tacit understanding between the two people, and this tacit understanding pulled the hearts of the two people closer together. When Xiao Pan was fine, she walked to the machine that Yingying was looking at and stood up, Yingying felt a warm feeling, it was a feeling that had never been there, it was a feeling that no one had ever given since she was a child, very warm, very happy, very down-to-earth, she felt that Xiao Pan was like a big mountain, so that her ownerless and rootless grass found a foothold and could be tightly attached to it. He spends a lot of time every day conditioning her machine, and even if the machine is good, he is willing to stay in front of her, so someone whispers to him: "Little Pan, do you want to soak in the little sister?" and he grinned playfully, "um" and "ah" nodded. Yingying felt that she was really the happiest and sweetest girl in the world, but her mind would sometimes pass over Xiaojun's sad and lonely figure, she thought it was just that she was worried again, he felt that she and Xiaojun's pure and light feeling like cicada wings had been like a breeze in that sad and young age, they should have their own different lives.