Thanks to the blessing of Hanyu, Lin Manshu finally sat at the same table with her parents after many years. The atmosphere was a little awkward, and Lin Manshu ate silently. This rice is also, more than ten years have passed, and it is still the same taste.

Sometimes, Lin Manshu occasionally wants to eat at home, and tries to make it, the ingredients and seasonings are the same, but she can't make that feeling. Lin Manshu knows that what is missing there is the taste of home.

Father and Mother Lin were happy at the moment, sitting at the same table with their daughter, watching their daughter eat the food they cooked. What a luxury this is for them.

A little longer, even for a minute, will give them a sweet dream tonight.

Xiao Hanyu secretly observed the atmosphere and felt that it was not bad, he had been working hard to let Lin Manshu return to the family, wanting to make the family he had been familiar with since childhood harmonious. He has worked hard for more than ten years to achieve this goal, and now he has finally achieved initial results.

"Wow, today's meal was exceptionally delicious, wasn't it, Man-sook. Xiao Hanyu said with a topic.

Lin Manshu glanced at Hanyu lightly, did not speak, and continued to chew the rice grains in her mouth.

The atmosphere cooled down like this, and in order not to chill the second elder, Xiao Hanyu continued: "It's been so many years, and Auntie's craftsmanship is not bad at all. Man-sook and I have tried to make these dishes before, but they always don't taste right. ”

"yes? I should have written you a recipe earlier. Lin Mu said.

"Your aunt doesn't have much else, but her cooking skills are a must, and I want her to cook. Father Lin also said proudly.

Father Lin and Mother Lin always looked at Lin Manshu's expression cautiously when she spoke, for fear that she would be unhappy. Seeing that her expression had not changed as usual, she dared to continue to speak.

Although Lin Manshu kept bowing her head and talking, she also noticed this. She thought it was a little funny. When she was a child, she used to look at her parents' expressions so carefully.

When I was a child, because my parents often quarreled, there was always a smell of * at the dinner table. The parents were stiff-faced, and the atmosphere was very depressing. Lin Manshu always wanted to say something to ease the atmosphere, but she naively thought that her careful maintenance would make her parents not angry and make the family atmosphere better.

But maintaining the family atmosphere should be something that parents should do.

"Dad, Mom, I took the first place in the school test today. ”

"Mom, the food you cooked today was delicious. ”

"Dad, are you tired from work today? I'll help you beat your shoulders in a moment. ”

Little Lin Manshu works hard to maintain family relationships, and if her parents show a little smile, she will immediately work harder to make them happy. So, from a very young age, she learned to look at people's faces. What should have been a carefree age has been replaced by maturity that doesn't belong to you. Adults call it "sensible".

But what does she get out of her efforts?

"You have to study hard and continue to take first place next time. ”

"Eat more if it's delicious, and take your brother to play after eating." ”

"No, go and rest by yourself. ”

Blunt, joyless, perfunctory words are the answers that Lin Manshu often gets.

She knows that parents don't like their children's leftovers, and when their parents are angry, she will try to eat more, try not to do things that upset her parents, even if she may be full that day, even if she doesn't like to cook that day, she will finish the meal well.

At the dinner table, looking at the eyes of the parents who were angry with each other, silently stuffed the rice into their mouths, and occasionally a tear slipped into the rice, but they could only swallow it hard. This is Lin Manshu's deepest memory of childhood.

Seeing the scene in front of her and recalling the trauma in her memory, Lin Manshu felt both ridiculous and sad. When she was a child, she prayed to God countless times, even if it was such a quiet meal, she was willing to exchange her life for it.

Once, she couldn't stand the quarrel between her parents. Late at night after a parental quarrel, he gets up alone, picks up a fruit knife and prepares to commit suicide. She felt that she would not be able to endure this anymore after the end of her life.

Just as the knife touched her wrist, she suddenly heard a childish voice: "Sister, what are you doing?"

Hearing that voice, Lin Manshu's heart softened, and tears couldn't help falling, and she turned around to see the young Lin Huijing looking at her with hazy and questioning eyes.

At that time, Lin Manshu was ten years old and Lin Huijing was four years old. The appearance of Lin Huijing made Lin Manshu dispel the idea of suicide. If she died, her brother would be left alone to bear all this, how could she bear it.

Thinking about this later, Lin Manshu felt that it was the young Huijing who guarded her. That child, who was only four years old, used himself to keep his sister.

Lin Manshu wiped her tears, put down the knife in her hand, walked up to Lin Huijing, squatted down and looked into his eyes and said, "It's nothing?" Do you want to eat watermelon, can my sister help you cut it?"

"Good. Lin Huijing said with a smile, his laughter has a special contagious power, as if it can heal all scars.

Lin Manshu cut the watermelon, watched Lin Huijing eat it one bite at a time, the watermelon juice flowed out of the corners of his mouth, and Lin Manshu patiently helped him wipe it off.

"Why don't you sleep so late?" asked Lin Manshu.

"I was scared, afraid that my parents would fight again. ”

Lin Huijing's voice was filled with fear, choking, and uneasiness, and at that moment Lin Manshu began to complain about her parents and God, why did she let this young child go through all this. She even forgot that she was a child.

She hugged Lin Huijing, patted him on the back gently, and said, "Huijing, don't be afraid, with my sister here, no matter what happens, my sister will protect you." ”

But in the end, Lin Manshu couldn't keep the child, letting him die in loneliness and fear. It's no wonder that Lin Huijing's death will become Lin Manshu's eternal headache.

Thinking of Lin Huijing, it was like poking the source of sadness, making Lin Manshu want to cry out loud. Her heart ached, tears piling up in her eyes.

"I'm done. ”

Before crying, Lin Manshu quickly put down the dishes and chopsticks, lowered her head and left, and when she turned around, tears had already fallen.

Father Lin and Mother Lin stood up at a loss, like children who had done something wrong, their faces full of remorse. Maybe I shouldn't have come here, Father Lin thought.

Xiao Hanyu keenly saw Lin Manshu's slightly red eyes, and she didn't know what sad past she remembered.

It seems that she is not yet well. Xiao Hanyu thought so.

"I promised Hui Jing that I would protect him well, no matter what happened. But I couldn't protect him, and I didn't do it in the end. ”

On the way back, Lin Manshu talked about it. She propped her hands on the window and blocked her nose to keep herself from crying.

Xiao Hanyu looked at Lin Manshu worriedly, he thought that after the death of Lin Huijing's murderer Huang Anyi, Lin Manshu's self-blame and guilt would be better. Now it seems that it is not.

She didn't forgive her parents, and she didn't forgive herself. So punish yourself by punishing your parents.

"It's time to let go of that. ”

"I know, but, I ...... I couldn't put it down. Lin Manshu looked at Xiao Hanyu and said, "Do you know? I almost committed suicide when I was ten years old, but it was Huijing who saved me, and he was only four years old at that time. He guarded me at the age of four, but I ...... I couldn't keep him. No, I hurt him, to be exact. ”

Lin Manshu has always been persistent, so she persuaded Lin Huijing to turn herself in, which led to Lin Huijing being abused to death in prison. This kind of thought made her even more unhappy about Lin Huijing's death.

"I've thought about being happy, I've thought about letting go. But I can't let it go. ”

Xiao Hanyu looked at Lin Manshu, there was a tear on her face, and her sad gaze was distressing.

Why does suffering always surround her?

Of course, his question went unanswered.

Xiao Hanyu parked the car on the side of the road, looked at Lin Manshu and asked seriously, "Do you believe that there is heaven and hell in the world?"

Lin Manshu looked at Xiao Hanyu blankly.

"I believe that there is heaven and hell in this world, and Huijing will definitely go to heaven. Didn't you say he saved you when he was four years old? Xiao Hanyu said.

"Is that right?" asked Lim Man-sook.

When we lose hope in reality, when science can't tell us the answer, the only thing that can comfort us is metaphysics. Lin Manshu doesn't know if there is heaven and hell, but she is willing to believe that there is a heaven, and believes that Lin Huijing will definitely go to heaven.

"I'm sure it's going to be like that. No matter where you are, he probably won't forget you, you're his favorite sister. Xiao Hanyu said again.

"If there is an afterlife, I want my sister to be my sister. I like my sister the most, and it would be nice if I could be with my sister all the time. After that, I will earn a lot of money and give my sister the best things in the world. ”

Lin Huijing once said that he had grown into a teenager when he said this, but he was always attached to his sister.

Knowing that Lin Manshu would come back today, Xiao Mubai went to the villa early in the morning and waited, and in the afternoon, he finally saw Lin Manshu get out of the car.

"You're finally back, I've been waiting for a long time. ”

Xiao Mubai happily went to greet her, but saw Lin Manshu's eyes slightly red, and there were traces of crying.

He grabbed Lin Manshu's arm and asked, "What's wrong? Have you cried? Why are you crying?"

Xiao Mubai was reluctant to let Lin Manshu cry, and just as he wanted to continue asking, he saw Xiao Hanyu shaking his head at him, understanding that now was not the time to ask.

"You must be tired on the road, go in first and get some rest. ”

Xiao Mubai took Lin Manshu's hand intimately and sent her back to the room to see her lie down on the bed.

"I want to be alone for a while. Lin Manshu said.

"Well, okay, I'll go out right away, I'm right down, remember to call me if there's anything. Xiao Mubai instructed and left softly.

Lin Manshu was lying on the bed, and she could see a photo of her and Lin Huijing on the bedside table from the side.

"Huijing, if you come to this world again, you must remember your sister, and you must remember to come to me. ”