Hometown timidity.

Li Yuan stood downstairs at his house, hesitated for a long time, and then suppressed the anxiety in his heart, mustered up the courage, and rushed up to the sixth floor, knocked on the door, and shouted loudly: "Mom! I'm back!"

"It's coming, it's coming. ”

A familiar voice came from inside the door, and then the door opened, and the mother wiped the sweat with the flour on both hands, and asked, "Did you forget the key again?"

"Hmm. ”

"If you're tired, go lie down for a while, and Mom will make dumplings for you today. ”

Mother said she was going back to the kitchen.

"Mom......"

Li Yuan shouted, hugged his mother, and tears couldn't stop falling.

"What's wrong? Have you been bullied by your classmates again? Or have you been scolded by your teacher again?"

Li Yuan shook his head vigorously, and it took a while to stop his tears, and said softly, "I miss you so much." ”

"Silly boy, what are you talking about stupidly?" Li Xiulan wiped her hands on the placket, turned around and pinched Li Yuan's face, and said with a smile: "How old are you still crying nose, don't you be ashamed, don't go wash your face quickly." ”

"Hmm. ”

Li Yuan sniffed and said in a dumb voice, "Mom, I won't cry in the future." ”

At the same time, he silently said in his heart, he will not let you cry again.

……

Li Yuan was abusive in his previous life and had many girlfriends.

These women are all different, the only thing they have in common is that they are all beautiful.

Pretty is not beautiful.

With Li Yuan's critical eye, it can be called beautiful, but there are probably no more than three or two people.

But if you want to ask him who is the most beautiful woman in his heart, he will tell you that it is not Xu Xiaowen, not Han Lu, not Bai Xue, but his mother.

His mother, Li Xiulan, has small eyes, dark skin, and a somewhat out of shape...... Despite this, she is still the most beautiful woman in his heart.

In addition to your mother, what other woman has been with you from birth to death? No matter rich or poor, no matter health or illness, no matter good times or bad, she will always be by your side when you need it most, and never leave you.

She is Li Xiulan, an ordinary and great mother, a kind and beautiful woman.

……

Li Yuan went to the bathroom to wash his face, drank several sips of cold water in his hand, and his uncontrollable emotions gradually returned to normal.

Coming out of the bathroom, Li Yuan went into the kitchen: "Mom, I'll help you." ”

Li Xiulan looked at Li Yuan in surprise, this child is very lazy, he only knows how to read books all day long, and he has never taken the initiative to do housework.

Li Xiulan was happy that her son had become sensible, but she was reluctant to let him work.

"Go, go, don't make a mess, when you're tired, go lie down for a while, watch TV-"

Li Xiulan's words suddenly froze.

Li Yuan saw that his mother's face was wrong and guessed the reason.

Turning around and walking into the living room, I saw that the TV cabinet was still there, but the TV was missing.

Li Yuan returned to the kitchen and asked, "Is that person back again?"

Li Xiulan glared at him and said, "What this person and that person, he is your father." ”

Li Yuan looked at his mother, he didn't notice it under the emotional turmoil just now, and then he found that there was a bruise on his mother's cheek.

"He hit you again?"

"Adults, don't worry about children, if you want to watch TV, go to your brother Liu Kai's house to watch. ”

"I don't want to watch TV. ”

Li Yuan shook his head, stared at his mother's eyes, and asked, "I just want to know, how long will you endure such a day?"

Li Xiulan didn't answer, lowered her head and kneaded her dough vigorously.

Li Yuan wrapped his arms around her deformed waist, rested his head lightly on her back, and said, "Mom, divorce him." ”

Li Xiulan's body trembled, and the movements of her hands stopped, but she still did not respond.

"Mom, I know that you are bitter in your heart, I know that you don't want others to say that I am a child without a father, and I know that you still love him. Li Yuan said calmly: "But he doesn't love you, he only loves himself." Since he started gambling money, he has been gambling for several years, he doesn't work, he hides when he owes debts and doesn't go home, and when he comes back, he asks you for money, and if he doesn't give it, he beats you, how long will you endure such days?"

"Okay, don't talk about it, Mom still has to cook. ”

Li Xiulan broke away from Li Yuan's embrace, sniffed, and said, "There is not much vinegar at home, you go and get a bottle of vinegar and come back." The money is in the pocket of my mother's blue dress. ”

"Hmm. ”

Li Yuan responded sullenly, took an empty wine bottle from the cupboard, went to the living room, took a piece of change from Li Xiulan's washed and somewhat white overalls jacket, thought about it, took another ten yuan one, shouted at the kitchen, "Mom, I'm out", and went out.

Closing the door, Li Yuan did not rush downstairs, squatted quietly at the door, and after a while, his mother's suppressed whimper came from the house.

This intermittent cry made Li Yuan extremely annoyed, he gritted his teeth, and stood up suddenly, his eyes becoming more and more cold.

……

Li Xiulan's life is a tragedy.

The tragedy stemmed from two men, one her husband and the other her son.

……

Her husband's name is Li Zhenhai.

Li Zhenhai is a native of Dongshan Province, and after graduating from primary school, he followed his eldest brother and sister-in-law to the Haitang Oilfield.

When he was sixteen years old, his brother died in the fire in order to save national property, and his sister-in-law took the child back to his hometown in Dongshan.

Half-grown, young and vigorous and unsupervised, he also has money after work, eats, drinks and has fun every day, and has made a lot of fox friends and dogs.

Li Zhenhai is so uneven - to put it bluntly, he is nosy, his temper is also violent, and he fights if he disagrees, but he didn't work for long, he caused a lot of trouble, and he couldn't get along in Haitang.

……

Before Li Yuan's rebirth, his mother suffered from cancer due to overwork, and it took only four months from hospitalization to death.

During this time, Li Yuan has been by her side and listened to her say a lot of past events.

……

It was love at first sight for her.

She went to watch a basketball game organized by her unit with her colleagues, and was fascinated by Li Zhenhai on the court at a glance.

Li Zhenhai is handsome and chic, with the uninhibited nature of a prodigal son, and is full of attraction to Li Xiulan, who is not deeply involved in the world.

Later, after being introduced to each other, Li Xiulan found that Li Zhenhai is not only good-looking, but also versatile, writes well, plays chess well, is good at sports, and sings very well......

Li Zhenhai is also very satisfied with Li Xiulan, although she is not very beautiful, she has a gentle temperament, ingenuity, and most importantly, she has a higher education than him.

Li Zhenhai, who only has a primary school education, has low self-esteem in his heart, and finding a daughter-in-law with high Chinese is a very face-saving thing for him.

The two went from acquaintance to love, and soon got married and had children.

……

What happened later, there is no need for Li Xiulan to tell, Li Yuan still remembers.

In his childhood, he was innocent and happy.

His mother is loving and ingenious, proficient in all kinds of housework, good at cooking, and good at cutting, sewing and crocheting.

's father is Li Yuan's idol, in his young heart, his father has nothing to do, and his talent is also cultivated by his father.

……

I remember when I first entered elementary school, my family was in good condition.

Refrigerators, color TVs, washing machines, air conditioners, telephones, water heaters, and all kinds of household appliances are available, and they are all imported brands.

At that time, Li Yuan wanted something, and his parents bought it for him, not to mention food and clothing.

At that time, many classmates came to play with him, and they all knew that he had comic books, game consoles, Optimus Prime and Hexapon, model airplanes and remote-controlled cars.

Because his father works in a small team, there is a Nissan car parked downstairs all the year round, which makes Li Yuan the envy of his friends.

……

All this disappeared when he was ten years old.

He clearly remembers that during that time, many people came to the door almost every day, sat in the living room for a long time, and always moved some things when they left.

Today it's a VCR, tomorrow it's a refrigerator, and the day after tomorrow it's a record player......

The things in the house are getting less and less day by day, and the Nissan sedan downstairs is no longer visible, and I later learned that my father has changed jobs.

Until one day, my father found a scrap collector and sold Li Yuan's comic books and toys.

Li Yuan cried a lot, and said goodbye to his innocent childhood.

……

The house was eventually emptied, but the number of people who came to the door every night did not decrease, some made a lot of noise, and some sighed.

Strangers usually sit until nine or ten o'clock before leaving, followed by the father's sullen sighs, the mother's muffled sobs, until the sighs and cries turn into quarrels, beatings, smashings, and finally the sound of slamming the door, and everything falls silent.

At that time, Li Yuan usually hid in the quilt and didn't dare to come out.

……

The classmates no longer come to play at home, and even the eyes that look at themselves are full of sympathy.

Yes, sympathy.

There are so many such eyes that people are frightened, classmates, and neighbors, and the ubiquitous gaze makes Li Yuan breathless.

The cheerful smile on his face vanished and he became reticent.

There is a lot of noise at home every day, there is no way to concentrate, I can't write my homework, I am either scolded by teachers or parents when I go to school, and I am beaten many times, and I am even more silent.

At that time, his only joy was reading comics.

Only in the fantasy world, he is extremely confident and can do anything.

……

Comic books are something that costs money.

Li Yuan told his parents that he wanted to buy comics, but not only did he fail to do so, but he was reprimanded, and he had no pocket money, so he had to borrow a classmate's reading.

Someone else's is someone else's after all, not to mention that there is always a day when you will finish reading it.

Li Yuan, who had no books to read, was like an addict who had left the pill and began to take risks.

At first, it was a deception, buy a pen today, buy a book tomorrow, and buy a pencil sharpener the day after tomorrow......

Lying inevitably revealed the stuffing, and later was discovered by his mother, and he was beaten up, stopped for a while, and relapsed.

……

Li Xiulan always felt that she owed her child, and she always couldn't beat him hard, but seeing her well-behaved son becoming a lie day by day, she finally relented and beat him hard.

This beating made Li Yuan stop for a long time.

Seeing that he likes to read so much, Li Xiulan simply gave him a library card for the unit library.

Li Yuan has been like a fish in water since then.

From then on, whenever he had time, he plunged headlong into the library.

The world in the book is wider than the comics, and it also satisfies his desire to escape from reality.

Fairy tales, fables, domestic and foreign masterpieces, no one told him what to watch, so he read a lot of things he shouldn't see.

Through reading, he quickly matured, not only understanding what was happening at home, but even having an ignorant understanding of sex.

At that time, he was still a primary school student.

……

Perhaps because of the misfortune of the family, Li Yuan is full of yearning for the beautiful love described in the book, or maybe because the women in the book have a pair of beautiful eyes, and Xu Xiaowen, who also has bright eyes, has become the object of his fantasy.

In the world of juvenile fantasy, Xu Xiaowen is Tonya, Carman, and Jane Eyre...... She is innocent, pure and kind, gentle and subtle, but also passionate and unrestrained, she is strong, independent, hardworking, optimistic, and the embodiment of all the beauty in the world.

It is impossible to have such a woman in the world, this is just his fantasy, but this does not prevent him from being deeply infatuated with Xu Xiaowen, so much so that at the class reunion many years later, when someone said bad things about Xu Xiaowen, Li Yuan fought with him with the strength of wine.

Maybe Xu Xiaowen really has a lot of shortcomings, but she is the brightest ray of sunshine in Li Yuan's dark years, and no one can desecrate it.

……

If Xu Xiaowen was Li Yuan's favorite when he was young, then gambling was the thing he hated the most.

For many years, Li Yuan has thought more than once, if his father did not have gambling money, what would the fate of the family be?

He hated gambling, and he hated his father who gambled.

In my impression, until I graduated from elementary school, my father's daily routine was-

Gambling, losing, borrowing, hiding debts, drinking, beating wives.

Of course, occasionally hit him.

……

Li Zhenhai beat his wife less often, not because he repented, but because even if he beat Li Xiulan to death, he couldn't get any money.

In the past few years, the two of them have borrowed relatives and friends, but there is really nowhere to borrow.

Li Zhenhai's reputation is completely rotten on the street, and those who know him walk around when they see him on the road, for fear that he will offer to borrow money to turn over the book, and even his relatives in his hometown will completely turn their faces with him and cut off contact with him.

Li Xiulan is very popular, and her neighbors and friends see her as pitiful, and she is still willing to help when she has something, but she doesn't need to talk about borrowing money.

Knowing that her family has a brazier for eating money, who dares to lend her money?

When Li Yuan was in the first year of junior high school, Li Zhenhai was fired from his work unit because of long-term absenteeism.

I couldn't borrow money, and I lost my job, so I panicked, and finally begged my grandfather to tell my grandmother, so I finally got sick and retired.

With a pension, gambling addiction came up again, but the previous debt was not eliminated, and the debt came to the door every three or five times, so he had to hide in Tibet, occasionally secretly go home in the middle of the night, take a bath, change clothes, and turn around and leave without nostalgia.

As for repaying debts, isn't there still a daughter-in-law?