"I'm not dead. ”

For the umpteenth time, he repeated this to her: "Look, am I not in your presence?"

"So why are we here? Why do you want me to go to the doctor every day?"

Ji Xiaoru scratched her long hair in pain.

"Lu Zi, let's go back to China, I don't want to stay here any longer. ”

"Well, don't you often sleep hard at night? ”

Pei Yuansheng walked up to her and gently held her hand, preventing her from continuing to scratch herself nervously.

Ji Xiaoru was extremely uncomfortable.

She felt uneasy.

Everything is foreign here.

At first I thought it was for a vacation, but then it turned out that it didn't seem to be.

She needs to go to the doctor every day for hypnosis.

Sometimes she falls asleep directly, sometimes she dreams, but she doesn't remember what she dreamed about when she wakes up, and sometimes she dreams about some fragments, and once the doctor carefully interrogates her, she can't control her hysteria.

She didn't know what was wrong with her.

It seems that it is becoming more and more impossible to control yourself.

She felt like a runaway plane, falling at a rapid pace.

She often felt the feeling of weightlessness clearly.

She tried to describe it to Lu Chenxi, but he always reassured him that he was okay.

She could only hold his hand tightly, like grasping the last straw.

However, why is his face sometimes Pei Yuansheng and sometimes Lu Chenxi?

They...... Is it really that much like that?

She looked at him with flickering eyes, her pale lips slightly open, and her face full of confusion.

"What's wrong?"

He asked.

He was always patient with her.

In this foreign country where a friend and no relatives have any, only he gets along with her day and night.

She became more and more inseparable from him.

Recently, she has been taking medication every day, which has caused her to sometimes become sluggish and her thinking is not as quick as it used to be.

Without him, she couldn't imagine how bad her life would be.

"Lu Zi, I'm tired, can you go to sleep with me?"

She knew he had a job to do, but she had been alone in the bedroom for a long time.

I can't wait.

When he didn't come, as soon as she closed her eyes, she saw a lot of terrible distorted black shadows, which made her unable to sleep and even suffocated.

Only if he was by her side would she feel better.

"Okay, but I haven't washed up yet, can you go back to your room and wait a while?"

He touched her cheek and consulted with her.

She frowned, and said irritably, "Hurry up, okay? I don't want to be alone in the bedroom, I always see a lot of terrible black shadows, and I can't breathe...... Lu Zi, go take a bath! I'll be waiting for you in the living room. ”

Her nervousness made him helpless and tired, but he finally just smiled tolerantly and said, "Okay." ”

"Hmm. ”

She smiled sweetly.

This smile is full of flattery.

Although her mental condition is different from that of normal people, she is also extremely sensitive, and she can always be aware of the trouble she has brought to the other party.

She was afraid that he would dislike her.

She knew that if she could take care of herself and not cling to him so much, he would not find herself annoying, but she couldn't control her behavior.

Lu Chenxi, or should it be Pei Yuansheng, approached the bathroom under Ji Xiaoru's gaze and closed the door with his backhand.

But even so, Ji Xiaoru's eyes were still glued to the door, and she couldn't wait to stick back to him the first moment he walked out of the bathroom.

As soon as Pei Yuansheng closed the door, he took off his home clothes with some disgust and threw them into the dirty clothes basket.

The white loungewear was spotless, but it was as if it had been stained with something tangible.

Pei Yuansheng leaned against the wall of the bathroom and slowly breathed a sigh of relief.

He closed his eyes and suddenly wanted to smoke a cigarette.

Of course, he was not in a good condition to smoke.

Despite the success of the heart transplant, he was still not allowed to smoke or drink.

It's just that...... At this point, I was a little irritable.

He is not tired of taking care of Ji Xiaoru.

In getting along day and night, he is becoming more and more accustomed to her presence in life.

Even at one point, he wondered if he really liked Ji Xiaoru in the process of playing Lu Chenxi.

But soon he realized that it wasn't.

The person he likes in his heart is Tang Xiao.

This, the more time passed, the more certain he became.

For Ji Xiaoru, he should have developed a special feeling mixed with family affection and friendship in getting along.

But the longer they are together, the less likely Ji Xiaoru is for him to become a woman who can make him fall in love.

He couldn't fall in love with Ji Xiaoru.

If you can fall in love with Ji Xiaoru, it seems to be good for him and Ji Xiaoru.

Maybe Xiaoxiao will be happy about it too.

However, he can't force himself to fall in love with someone he doesn't love.

And what makes him more and more unbearable is Ji Xiaoru's excessive dependence.

She is dependent on him, and it is normal.

After all, he is now Lu Chenxi, after all, they are a couple.

But her dependence is from morning to night, and she is unwilling to be separated from him at any time.

He had sacrificed almost all his freedom to accompany her.

Occasionally, when he wanted to go out and be alone, she would take various methods to let him take her with him.

The routine daily visit to the psychiatrist must also be picked up by him personally.

The only time he was free was probably when she was hypnotized and worked alone with him in the study.

Or at this moment, for example.

However, even now, he was completely sure that she was on the sofa in the living room, looking at this side unchanged.

Pei Yuansheng came out of the shower, pushed open the door, and sure enough, he saw Ji Xiaoru staring straight at him.

Although it was expected, he frowned and felt unhappy.

Seeing him frowning, Ji Xiaoru wrung her fingers uneasily, hesitated, and got up from the sofa, her pale and pretty face full of flattering smiles.

Even his voice was deliberately pinched in order to appear more gentle and obedient: "Lu Zi, have you finished taking a bath? Do you want to drink some water, are you thirsty?"

As he spoke, he picked up the warm kettle on the coffee table and poured a glass of water, and hurriedly brought it to Pei Yuansheng.

She held the cup of warm water in her hands and looked up at him earnestly, her big eyes glinting with unease.

Pei Yuansheng sighed silently.

took the water cup from Ji Xiaoru's hand and drank it in one gulp.

A smile immediately broke out on her beautiful little face.

He looked down at her.

She lost a lot of weight.

The first time I saw her in Chengbei before, she gave him the impression that she was thin and tall.

She has a slender skeleton and a very light weight, but she has a very good figure and extremely beautiful facial features.

She belongs to the kind of beauty who has a very infectious smile.

Even though Pei Yuansheng has read countless people, he must admit that Ji Xiaoru is really a bright and moving woman.

It's a pity that the current Ji Xiaoru is too thin.

Her face was too thin, and her eyes were getting bigger and more terrifying, especially when her big jet-black eyes stared at him fixedly.

But no matter what she did, he couldn't blame her.

After all, she was also a victim.

If you want to blame, you can only blame that accident that took Lu Zi's life.

If Lu Zi is still here, Ji Xiaoru must not be the current Ji Xiaoru.

If Lu Zi is still here, he and Ji Xiaoru should already be married, right?

Pei Yuansheng often blamed himself for not inviting Lu Zi and them to visit the island.

If they hadn't come, Lu Zi wouldn't have drowned in the sea.

Xiaoxiao always thought that he was willing to sacrifice himself for friendship.

Only he knows in his heart that he is for Lu Zi on the one hand, and atonement for his sins on the other.

Ji Xiaoru can become what she is now, and she has nothing to do with herself.

It was he who hurt her.

All the fatigue and hardship caused by this incident are what he deserves.

"Thank you for the water, go to sleep. ”

He patted her lightly on the shoulder.

She's so thin that her shoulders are a little awkward.

"What about you? aren't you with me?"

Her eyes widened, and she asked eagerly,

"I just remembered that there is one more thing that has not been dealt with, and now I will go back to the study and continue to deal with it. ”

He just wanted to be alone, even if it was only for a moment.

"Shall I accompany you? You're busy with you, I'll just sit next to you. ”

She looked at him expectantly.

He frowned and shook his head slightly.

"No, I can't. Go to sleep. ”

"Why not?"

She suddenly became a little irritable.

She couldn't understand why he wouldn't be willing to accommodate even such a small request.

In the past, he was willing to accommodate her in everything.

Including opening up about his relationship with her at a press conference, including kissing her on the cheek in front of fans who picked her up.

Obviously, he used to be so obedient to her.

Why has everything changed now?

She couldn't accept it.

"Not why. ”

He patiently said, "Be obedient and go to sleep." ”

"No, I'm going to go to the study with you! Lu Zi, you can't leave me alone! You can't leave me alone!!"

She suddenly screamed.

The shrill voice is particularly harsh in the huge villa.

He quietly took a step back.

As if stabbed by this voice, a painful look flashed on his handsome face.

Such hysteria, and sudden screaming, reminded him of when he was a child, when his father was a child, his mother Julia spoiled himself uncontrollably and screamed.

She was always good and suddenly began to call him a brute, scolded him for being damned, scolded him for why he didn't die, why the one who died was his father.

At first, he wondered why he blamed himself for his father's illness and death, and why did he torture himself day after day?

After a long time, he became accustomed to it and became numb, and he resigned himself to thinking, probably, his father's death was indeed his own fault.

If he hadn't been born, maybe his mother and father would have been able to live happily together.

If he had died, his mother might have been happier.

He spits on himself, believing that he should not live in the world at all.

For a long time, he was numb and calmly waiting for his death.

……

He thought he had forgotten all about it.

But now, Ji Xiaoru's hysteria has pulled him back into the whirlpool of memories that he has forgotten.