Originally, I wanted to take advantage of the recent good state to pay off the 10,000 rewards I owed before, but what happened last night interrupted my original plan. The world is unpredictable, nothing more than that.

It's not Kim Jong-hyun's meal, and all the impressions of Kim Jong-hyun come from Taeyeon. I will come to support Taeyeon's concert, take happy photos together, sing beautiful songs with Taeyeon, and laugh quietly and gently, this is all my impression of Kim Jong-hyun.

When I saw the news that he had chosen to leave, there was an indescribable feeling surging in my heart. I didn't do anything and swiped the news all night, hoping to get a twist, even if it was officially announced, I was still waiting for a miracle to appear, and I had his figure in my head all night, so I couldn't sleep at all. This outburst of emotion surprised even me as to why I was so frightened by his departure. After thinking about it for a long time, I thought that my panic should come from the uneasiness that something I cherished might disappear in an instant in a way that I couldn't have imagined at some point.

Idols, chasing stars, for many people, this kind of behavior of spending a lot of money running around just to meet someone who doesn't know you at all is very brain-dead. But for me, it's a great way to heal my wounds and find psychological solace.

Always being strong, optimistic, and smiling in front of family and friends is something that is not so easy to do. Those unspeakable pains and the gloom that slowly accumulates in the bottom of my heart bit by bit, at a certain moment, will hit like a tsunami, and there is nowhere to hide, unable to resist. Whenever this happens, the singing voice of the person she likes, the words she has said, and the smile on her face are all good medicine to heal the scars in her heart. Putting on the headphones and looking at her face, you will feel that you can temporarily withdraw from all unwanted negativity. Idols have become a small but solid haven that appears in front of me when I am so sad that I can't breathe.

I've always been grateful to have someone like this in my life who gave me strength in times of grief and distress. But Kim Jong-hyun's incident made me suddenly understand that the person I like so much, who has been smiling so softly, who has always tried to show us the best side of himself, who will give me a lot of strength, may hide a tired soul behind the eternal bright smile.

They have warmed us in their own way, but they can't find a way to warm their hearts. This may sound ironic, but it's true. I always want to use reason to admonish myself that the person I like is not as fragile as I imagined, she is very strong, stronger than I imagined. But I couldn't help but think, what if, she also buried all the pain in her heart and didn't talk to anyone? What if, she also endured unimaginable mental torture every day? These uncontrollable thoughts made me upset, and I couldn't calm down for a long time, and finally I could only pin my hope on that she was indeed stronger than I thought, and she would definitely live a good, happy, and happy life.

I'm writing these to vent the emotions that have accumulated since yesterday.,Other places are too noisy.,I hope it won't cause trouble to people who watch it.。。。