Chapter 10: Dreams

It is like the excitement of rebirth, it is a new force, as if everything is new, everything is irretrievable, everything is new.

I walked on the familiar road in my memory with Niuniu in my arms, thinking that when I got home, I would see my mother again and say something to her.

I want to tell her how much I miss her, how much I love her, how much I thank her.

Niu Niu writhed in my arms, persistently pointing to the ice cream machine across the street and clamoring for food. Naturally, I won't get what she wants. Joke, I was hit and killed by a car not long ago, and I have already had a shadow on the incident of crossing the road, okay?!

"Don't make a fuss, you have it in the refrigerator at home. ”

"No!" Niuniu pouted dissatisfiedly: "I ate it all yesterday!"

"Mom would buy it. ”

"No! Ma Ma said that he wouldn't buy it for me when I finished eating!"

"...... "I suddenly found that I really don't have to worry about losing my temper for too long and not being skilled, how I did it at the beginning, and now I still have it at my fingertips, and I don't feel a little rusty at all."

The neighborhood is not far away.

After walking for ten minutes, I arrived at the place where I had lived for a long time, and it looked newer than it was three years later. Some of the small stalls outside the community have long disappeared after three years, and have been replaced by commercial streets that have been divided into patches.

My arm was a little sore, so I put Niu Niu on the ground and took her by the hand. While comparing the community environment now with the community environment in three years.

If I told the uncle who was sitting on a bench next to the garden that his wife would die next year, he would definitely smoke me with the cigarette pouch in his hand.

Because his wife is alive and well, she probably eats too much and can go up to five floors in one breath.

If I told the woman who was watering flowers on the balcony and humming a little song that her husband had cheated on her and had cheated on more than one, she would definitely throw the shower in her hand straight down the stairs.

Because she has only been married for less than a month.

As I walked in the community, I inexplicably felt a wonderful feeling of mastering the fate of others. I know what they'll be like in three years, and I know what they're going to be through in those three years.

If I had known three years ago, and now, that I would soon be in a car accident, I would not have even stepped out of the door anytime soon.

When I was this old, I always felt that the things in my life made me irritable, made me feel like I had nothing to do, and made me feel that only death could solve everything. But when I really died, I could see clearly and look down, and everything in front of me was just a passing cloud. My fears have not yet happened, I have not cherished all that I have, I spurn everything that is at my fingertips, and I despise those who have nothing.

Now, I'm at peace and feel that there's nothing in my life that makes me make a big wave.

Went up to the third floor.

Standing on my doorstep.

This is where I was taken away by the master after three years. He took me away in front of my mother, and from then on I was like duckweed, with no roots.

However, it is precisely because of this that I was able to return to this place that was still full of love but plastered with runes to prevent me from going home.

"Sister, didn't you take the key?"

Niu Niu on the side saw that I was standing at the door for a long time, and reminded: "There is another one under the carpet." ”

"I have. I pulled the key out of my coat pocket. The moment I inserted the key into the lock, I was a little scared. What if everything is a dream?

What if the first thing I see is that the door to my room is covered with yellow rune paper?

"Sister?"

I took a deep breath, and I felt a hot breath exhale out of my body, calming me down a bit. I closed my eyes and pressed my hands.

The 'click' door opened.

At the same time, the strength of the left hand that had been held by Niu Niu suddenly disappeared, and the temperature of the summer day and the touch of the carpet under her feet all disappeared. Instead, there was a chill that made people feel a little chilly all over the body, and the sound of chatting was endless.

Sure enough, everything was a dream.

I opened my eyes and was in front of the ice cream parlor I had entered. The person sitting next to me had gone, leaving behind an empty paper cup that was still steaming and a warm yellow plastic spoon.

I watched motionlessly as the milky white gas dispersed to a certain extent, and finally merged with the air and was no longer visible.

This is the first time I've had any interest in vanilla-scented things. I said in my heart: If I could go back to three years ago, I would be willing to give up my favorite food, my favorite games, and even die alone in my old age.

But I also understand that there is no going back, I just don't want to give up like this, and I don't want to leave a little expectation for myself. My eyes had forgotten the feeling of tears, and they were dry like a mouth that couldn't make a sound.

But my heart was crying and crying.

That gloomy mood is the same as a cloudy day when the sun does not appear, how can the clouds not be blown away by the wind, and they have been piled up in my heart, blocking the bright sun.

I was in no mood to complete the master's task, and I sat here and watched the couples or girlfriends or mothers and sons and daughters, or fathers and sons and daughters, and only a burst of sadness.

The only thing that troubles those little ones is that I can't eat any more ice cream after I finish it. Their laughter, which is as contagious as the sunshine, constantly reminds me that I am just a bystander to this world.

It is said that the weather is cool and autumnal, who knew that this hot summer would also make people dizzy and unhappy. I got on the bus home with a little wounded heart in my arms.

My home is the master's home, and I don't have a home anymore.

……

"Why did you come back so soon?" the master looked up at me from the heat of the computer game, and his tone was a little surprised, "Did you finish her out so quickly?"

"When will I ascend to heaven?" I can't wait to get away from this place of right and wrong, whether it's to go to the Buddha of the West Heaven or to Jesus in Heaven, as long as I can leave, I can go anywhere in these two places.

"Why did you suddenly talk about this?" the master didn't raise his head this time, his eyes were watching the game tightly.

"I don't think it's interesting. What kind of identity am I? I feel that the days are not in sight, but I can feel the danger. ”

I don't understand how so many people can still be nostalgic after they die. Isn't it interesting? Seeing with your own eyes that the people who kept saying that they loved themselves for 10,000 years held the amulet after their death, for fear that you would go to them, don't you feel that your heart is cold, and even the ghosts don't have the courage to live?